You were as blind to Him as your footprints in the ashes,
but He saw you.
He saw you in those dark corners.
He heard you... Oh, my brothers. He heard those thoughts.
Amen!
Yes. Glory.
You are a stranger to yourself, and yet He knows you.
- Amen. - Yes. He does, sir.
And when your hard heart made you like unto the stone
and broke you from His body,
which is the stars, and the wind between the stars,
He knew you!
He knew you, again and forever.
This world is a veil.
And the face you wear is not your own.
Parish FD said the church burned down four months earlier.
No prints.
Put out an APB on Friends of Christ.
A week later, they were in Franklin.
Um...
Revival Ministry.
Old-time religion.
You can imagine what Mr. Charisma thought of that.
It is merely the limitation of your senses.
What do you think the average IQ of this group is, huh?
Can you see Texas up there on your high horse?
What do you know about these people?
Just observation and deduction.
I see a propensity for obesity, poverty, a yen for fairy tales.
Folks putting what few bucks they do have
into little wicker baskets being passed around.
I think it's safe to say
that nobody here's gonna be splitting the atom, Marty.
You see that?
Your fucking attitude.
Not everybody wants to sit alone in an empty room
beating off to murder manuals.
Some folks enjoy community, a common good.
Yeah, but if the common good's got to make up fairy tales,
then ifs not good for anybody.
Your sorrows pin you to this place.
They divide you from what your heart knows.
And there are a lot of good hearts out there. I'm looking out there.
I'm seeing a lot of good hearts out there.
I see a lot of joy out there.
I mean, can you imagine if people didn't believe?
What things they'd get up to?
The exact same thing they do now, just out in the open.
Bullshit.
It'd be a fucking freak show of murder and debauchery, and you know it.
If the only thing keeping a person decent
is the expectation of divine reward,
then, brother, that person is a piece of shit.
And I'd like to get as many of them out in the open as possible.
I guess your judgment is infallible, piece-of-shit-wise.
You think that notebook is a stone tablet?
What's it say about life? Hmm?
You got to get together,
tell yourselves stories
that violate every law of the universe,
just to get through the goddamn day? No.
What's that say about your reality, Marty?
When you get to talking like this, you sound panicked.
You figure it's all a scam, huh? All them folks.
Mmm-hmm. - They're just wrong?
Oh, yeah. Been that way since
one monkey looked at the sun and told the other monkey,
"He said for you to give me your fucking share."
People are so goddamn frail,
they'd rather put a coin in a wishing well than buy dinner.
Jesus Christ, Jesus Christ! Your arms opened and close.
The echoes of my life could never contain a single truth about you!
You move the feather in the ash.
You touch the leaf with its flame.
Transference of fear and self-loathing to an authoritarian vessel.
It's catharsis.
He absorbs their dread with his narrative.
Because of this, he's effective
in proportion to the amount of certainty he can project.
Certain linguistic anthropologists think that religion is a language virus
that rewrites pathways in the brain,
dulls critical thinking.
Well, I don't use $10 words as much as you,
but for a guy who sees no point in existence,
you sure fret about it an awful lot.
And you still sound panicked.
At least I'm not racing to a red light.
See, we all got what I call a life trap.
A gene-deep certainty that things will be different.
That you'll move to another city and meet the people
that'll be the friends for the rest of your life,
that you'll fall in love and be fulfilled.
Fucking fulfillment.
And closure.
Whatever the fuck those two...
Fucking need empty jars to hold this shit storm.
Nothing's ever fulfilled.
Not until the very end.
And closure.
No. No, no. Nothing is ever over.
Minister Theriot, do you recognize this girl?
I don't know for sure.
Wonderful service. - Thank you for coming.
- Thank you. - Thank you.
I want to say it's...
Thank you.
I don't remember the name.
Came pretty regularly when we was in Eunice.
I can! be sure. We get around since then.
You'? Oh, hello.
No, you're right. We saw her in Eunice.
- Tina might know her. - Mmm-hmm.
How long were you in Eunice?
About six months.
Widow in Opelouses leased us cheap.
We left when it caught fire.
Any idea how that happened?
Your people said "criminal mischief."
If I was to lay odds,
maybe one of the widows sons wanted us off the land.
But we move on. We seek no title. No retribution.
- I'm gonna go find Tina. - Okay.
Yeah. Great preaching.
How long you been doing this?
Been a preacher almost 20 years.
We've had the Friends of Christ for the last eight.
You with the church before that?
Independent evangelical.
I came up under Billy Lee Tuttle,
went to his college in Baton Rouge a couple years.
So back in Eunice,
uh, who painted the mural on the church wall?
Children from our congregation painted it.
I'm sorry.
Something happen to this girl you're looking for'?
Mr. Theriot, can we see the identification of your staff members?
You ever see her with anybody?
Wasn't she with someone the one clay? You remember?
The tall man?
Yeah, but I don't know if she was with him, with him.
Well, can you describe him?
I just saw them talking. I didn't get close or anything.
He was hunched forwvard, talking to her.
Kind of a strange face, I think.
Skin shiny around his jaw.
Ah. What, like burned?
Uh-huh.
So did she leave with him?
Yeah. Maybe like that.
Arrested 10-8-89 on a 314.
Spent his last year in solitary after a gang alternation.
- Print and hold. Thank you. - Copy that.
Everything checkout?
For the most part.
Burt, you spent two years in Angola.
Indecency, public exposure.
Whacking off outside a school.
They gave me bad medicine. I didn't know.
I paid for that.
Can you account for his whereabouts December 25th through January 3rd?
Yeah, Christmas to New Years we was in New Roads.
It shouldn't be a problem to find people who'll vouch for Burt's whereabouts.
We had a good turnout there.
Good turnout.
Detective, what is it you think happened?
Someone killed this girl, made a big show of it.
Left a painting of the crime scene on one of your old churches.
"I am the resurrection and the life for those who believe in me.“
Was she raped, Detective?
Why would you ask that?
If you speak to Bun alone,
I believe you'll be adequately convinced of his innocence, Detective.
Okay, let's do that.
Burt, go with the detective.
The ontological fallacy of expecting a light at the end of the tunnel,
well, that's what the preacher sells.
Same as a shrink.
See, the preacher, he encourages your capacity for illusion.
Then he tells you it's a fucking virtue.
Always a buck to be had doing that.
And it's such a desperate sense of entitlement, isn't it?
"Surely this is all for me.
"Me.
"Me, me... I...
"I'm so fucking important.
"I'm so fucking important.“ Right?
- Fuck you. - Excuse us for a second.
I said no!
Easy. I'm not gonna hurt you.
I'm not gonna hurt you.
Oh.
Compassion is ethics, Detective.
Yes. It is.
Iran checks on all of them.
Everyone's got a clean record except for Burt.
Yeah, I could see this being some kind of retard job.
He pays for it. Gets ashamed.
Overreacts.
Tries to redeem the act, you know'?
That's not bad, Marty.
Yeah, I got all the way there without your help.
But it's not him.
He did a deuce at the Farm for dick wagging.
Should've been in a mental ward to begin with.
- Give me the second half. - Angola.
Some Bloods caught him in the shower.
Took his balls off with a razor.
They were sloppy about it.
Oh, Jesus!
Still“.
I braced him.
He shit himself. Literally.
We can put some troopers on this place, have them surveil it,
but I think we should move on.
The tall man.
Well, that could be bullshit.
One threw it out and the other one picked up on it.
No, Burt knew.
He saw the tall man, too.
This. That Marie Fontenot thing.
There's no way Lange was his first.
No fucking way.
Rosie, can you help them get out, please?
We haven't matched any signatures.
One guy in the Fed database used crowns, another, a set of antlers.
Michigan lifer.
Then we called the signature wrong.
We don't know if there's any connection to Marie Fontenot.
Yeah, but the lattices, the symbology.
There's some kind of culture to it, Marty.
He wanted us to find this one, like he was showing off.
The cane fields are his stage.
Make a suggestion, then.
We could start at zero, they're going to hand it to the task force.
Well, somebody missed something.
We need to go back, check all files.
Any DBs in state the last five years, we start there.
We don't have the hours.
Shit, man. Look...
I've noticed you have a tendency toward myopia.
Tunnel vision. Blows investigations.
Vision skews, twists evidence.
You're obsessive.
You're obsessive, too. Just not about the job.
Not me, brother.
I keep things even. Separate.
Like the way I can have this one beer without needing 20.
People incapable of guilt usually do have a good time.
I try not to be too hard on myself.
Well, that's real big of you.
You know the real difference between you and me?
Yeah.
Denial.
The difference is that I know the difference
between an idea and a fact.
You are incapable of admitting doubt.
Now that sounds like denial to me.
I doubt that.
We'll put out an APB on any tall man with facial scarring.
Okay
Telex the hospitals for patients that fit.
Good.
So Cohle was trying to keep it from the task force.
Looking back,
you ever think maybe
he tried to push things where he wanted them to go?
No. We went where the case led us.
But you took it up, though?
His serial theory?
Well, as arrogant as he could be, he was right.
I mean, that's how we got our man.
Uh-huh, but I like it this way.
It's steady.
Bullshit. Really.
Look, I did all the counseling and stuff, you know.
This is just the way things are.
No, things don't stay the same.
Pick up what you keep and you leave the rest behind.
People get better.
That's the thing.
I think I am better.
- You really think so? - Uh, trust me.
Maybe you just think you prefer it this way 'cause it's what you're used to.
Your life accommodates you.
You don't have to be afraid of loss.
Those other guys I was telling you about,
they get a dog, a fish, what have you.
You start with that, you live with it.
Hell, I suppose you could set me up with a nurse.
- Give me some of the good drugs. - Mmm-hmm.
Would be a start
- Daddy! - Hey, kids.
Hey, honey.
Hi, there, Marty.
- What's going on, Rust? Brought the mower back.
- You mowed my yard? - Yeah, I saw it needed mowing.
Return the favor. Borrowing.
We got étouffée.
Trying to get Rust to stay for dinner.
Oh, yeah? Stay for dinner, Rust.
No, I think I got to get.
Maggie, thank you for the tea.
I'm sorry to hear that.
See you Monday.
I'll walk you out.
Hey!
What?
What the hell do you think you're doing, man, at my house when I'm not here?
Returning the mower.
You know what I mean.
You mow my lawn? Hmm?
Just what do you think I'd be doing over here when you're not around, Marty?
What's our problem?
You and me.
No problem.
I just don't ever want you mowing my lawn. All right?
I like mowing my lawn.
Oh.
That's your team, Daddy?
Yeah, baby. We want them to win.
Uh, hey, Audrey,
your mom and I want to talk to you a minute about those drawings you did in school.
Yeah?
- Mace, run to your room. - Why?
Because I said so. Run to.“ Go.
Go on.
Go.
Go. Run.
LOOK,
you don't have to get upset, honey, okay?
We just wanna talk to you.
Where'd you see that before? Hmm?
Why'd you draw that?
'Cause the other girls liked it.
And they thought it was funny, is all.
Yeah, but where did you get that idea?
Hmm?
The girls dared me to do it.
Oh, God.
That upsets people' Audrey.
It's ugly-
It makes something that should be nice ugly.
I'm sorry.
On...
Shh. It's okay. It's okay.
It's okay, sweetie.
Well, you know, I'm not saying that I got any room to talk,
but you know what it means to be a father?
It means you are accountable for other people.
You are responsible for their lives.
Now, past a certain point, there's a futility in responsibility.
That's the extent of your concern?
No. I just don't know what looking at it any more is gonna do.
It's her. I'm concerned.
Well, she's just trying to get attention.
The other girls...
Jesus, how do they even know about that stuff yet?
Girls always know before boys.
Why is that?
Because they have to.
Listen to me.
She's withdrawn.
She asks about you
and she wants to know why you're working so much now.
Well, I should be working less.
Task force is gonna take that case.
And I'll be around more.
Last week?
I'm sorry about that. I should have begged off.
We were having a good night.
Don't stop me.
Talk.
I'm close, Marty.
Do you hear me?
I'm close.
Um, they're gonna pull that case from us.
And I'll be around more and we'll do things.
Why is there all this space between us, Marty'?
I don't know what you mean.
You do know what I mean and you won't say, and that's it.
That's what I'm talking about.
This last year' you've been a sulky teenager, and you know it.
I'm trying to be your friend, Marty.
I'm just... I'm not good at, you know, expressing.
We change, don't we'? And sometimes not for long.
And here I'm thinking people don't really change at all.
Not who they are at heart.
You know, I try to remember things because I feel like I should.
Like it's my job or something.
Your early days.
And I'm tired of trying to remember.
A part of this,
and I'm not talking about the part that's all my fault,
but pan of it,
it's just life.
We used to spend weekends without leaving my room.
- That's not what I mean. - You remember that? But it's life...
Of course we don't screw like we're 19.
God, you want low expectations.
You put a ceiling on your life, on everything, because you won't change.
You were so much smarter when I met you.
You know'?
I'm sorry, Maggie.
I'm sorry for everything.
For not being here.
For taking all this for granted.
What have you been doing, Marty?
I...
Work.
Home.
Cases.
Just...
I get the feeling like...
Look, loan see 40,
and it's like I'm that coyote in the cartoons.
Like I'm running off a cliff, and if I don't look down
and keep running,
I might be fine.
But I'm...
I think I'm all fucked up.
You are.
Yes, you are.
PAPANIA; Marty?
Anyway...
Well, we pulled a few hospital patients.
Tall, scarred.
Sex offenders.
One kid did B and Es.
He had to tug one out before he could leave a scene.
Phew.
Yeah. And a lot of room work then.
Which one of you guys is the box man?
You.
Yeah?
I used to be pretty good in there myself.
Not as good as Rust.
I know, son.
I can read this off you.
You're not bad.
It's not you.
There's a weight, and it's got its fish hooks in your heart and your soul.
What you did is not your fault.
It's not.
You was drug to the bottom by that same weight.
The same weight that won't let you get along in a job,
the same weight that wouldn't let you get along at school.
The same weight that wouldn't let you have a mom.
I know these things, Chris.
I'm weak.
I'm sick.
I get into the houses and I can't leave
until I go all over their drawers.
Listen to me, son.
You got one way out.
And it's through the grace of God.
You're only how the Lord made you.
You are not flawed.
We, you, me, people, we don't choose our feelings.
There's grace in this world, and there is forgiveness for all,
but you have to ask for it.
I do. I do. I want it.
I want it.
I'm asking.
I'm asking. Tell me. Tell me.
Please just tell me what to say.
I want to confess.
Sorry about that.
Your assist record, man.
That's something else.
Any pointers?
Oh, I never really found it that hard.
You just look at somebody and think like they think.
Negative capability.
I mean, I guess it's a skill.
But most times, you don't even need that.
You just look them in the eyes, the whole story's right there.
Everybody wears their hunger and their haunt, you know?
You just gotta be honest about what can go on up here,
a locked room.
But then again, I'm terrible with cards.
Yeah. So while we were grilling B and E jerk-offs and bum victims,
I decided to put insomnia to good use.
People...
We seen the finale of thousands of lives, man.
Young, old.
Each one so sure of their realness,
that their sensory experience constituted
a unique individual,
with purpose, meaning.
So certain that they were more than a biological puppet.
Well, yeah, the truth wills out,
and everybody sees once the strings are cut,
all fall down.
Maggie says he's shy.
Uh, I wouldn't say that.
Definitely not shy about speaking his mind.
Well, that's not what I mean. His personality.
He's edgy.
Yeah, intense, more like...
introvert.
I don't want another drunk.
The last cop you showed me...
No, wait. Steve was going through a tough time.
He threw up in my lap.
Don't worry about that.
Getting him near your lap is going to be the challenge.
Oh, hey. Speak of the devil.
- Hey, Rust. - Martin.
- Hey, Maggie. - Hi, Rust.
- Jennifer. - Rustin.
Nice to meet you.
Well...
You walk over here?
No?
Okay
Just when I thought he couldn't get any stranger.
Are you serious?
He tastes colors.
So what is synesthesia?
Synesthesia, it's a misalignment
of synaptic receptors and triggers.
Alkalis, colors, certain metallics.
It's a type of hypersensitivity.
One sense triggers another sense.
Sometimes I'll see a color and it'll put a taste in my mouth.
A touch, a texture, a scent may put a note in my head.
I've heard of that.
It can be a side effect of a statin.
It's not a side effect.
So when something feels good, does that mean it feels twice as good?
Like, from two different ways?
It could.
Yeah.
The waitress will bring them, babe.
Why wait? I'll be right back.
Refill, and two rums.
Hi, can I have another beer? Thank you.
What're you doing?
What's it look like?
I'm on a date. Aren't you?
So, you...
You're gonna go home with this guy? Huh?
It's really none of your business.
Do you fuck your wife?
What do you want me to do?
Look, is this your way of trying to talk divorce?
My God, Mart?-
I don't wanna marry you. That's my whole point.
It's just run its course.
No, it hasn't. Come here. Have a shot.
Hey.
I didn't just come here to drink, you know.
Why don't we just set this down.
It'll be fun.
Yeah.
What?
Oh, nothing.
Thought I saw a guy supposed to be in Paris.
So, what's Alaska like?
It's beautiful.
It's not Paris.
But it's clean and it's clear.
You've been to Paris?
For a month.
What'd you do in Paris?
Mam gum gm drunk "m (tom at None Dame.
Each still body so certain
that they were more than the sum of their urges.
Ail the useless spinning;.
Tired mind, collision, desire, and ignorance.
You asked about the interrogations.
You wanna know the truth?
I never been in a room more than 10 minutes I didn't know whether the guy did it or not.
How long does it take you?
Rust spent a lot of off-duty running DBs.
Weeks of it.
Coonhound in another life.
Coonhound?
I meant raccoon hound.
Everybody's a fucking drama queen nowadays.
Jesus.
Look, if working his theories,
if his job was his idea of himself, fine.
I mean, the rest of us had families, people in our lives. Good things.
People
give you rules.
Rules describe the shape of things.
Shut up!
Fuck you!
Fuck, Marty. Get out of here.
"Fuck, Marty." Is that all you got for me?
Stop it. Go home. I don't want this anymore.
You got that little shit-bird in here?
Go away. I'll call the cops.
Let's see how that works out for you.
- I know other cops. - Okay.
Get out!
Marty. get out!
- She said she was single. - Marty!
Stop!
- She suck your dick, huh? - Stop it.
She suck your fucking dick?
Stop it! Get out!
Get off!
- Get off! - Yeah, that's right.
- Get off! - You tell me,
or I'll have some Ninth Ward prison queen
wearing your face for a condom.
Did she suck your dick?
Just for a little bit.
Get off.
Please. Stop it.
Sorry I got in your face, guy.
I wouldn't have really done something like that.
I'm not a psycho.
That's why I always said,
I think Rust needed a family.
It's boundaries. Boundaries are good.
This is Cohle.
Rust.
You're home. H's me.
What's wrong?
I'm sorry. Steve Geraci said he caught something.
He needed help.
I almost called the station, but what's the point, you know. They lie.
I gotta put you on the spot.
You know if it's true?
I didn't hear anything.
But then again, I wouldn't.
I mean, Geraci wouldn't pull me. He hates me.
You drop Jen at home?
Yeah. I walked her to the door.
You didn't go in?
You don't have to fall in love at firs! Sight, you know.
No. I know. Look, she's nice, pretty.
There's comfort there, Rust.
I think you guys would be good together if you gave it a chance.
You guys don't give things chances. I don't know why that is.
That's because we know what we want.
And we don't mind being alone.
Go to bed, Maggie.
Marty'll be home. Take care.
Holy shit. Three days in a row.
Is that a new personal record?
HART; Fuck Off.
I'll take my first shit through your sunroof.
Hey.
I found one, I think.
Another girl from earlier. Come here.
Three years ago. Flood in Abbeville. They pulled this girl out of the river.
It says here that her death was accidental.
Drowned, water in the lungs. How's that him?
Coroner says that branches and debris from the flood caused these injuries.
I understand the ribs and the arms.
- But the hyoid? - Still, that's not...
No fucking way. Look at this. Lacerations through the abdomen.
Plus, she was positive for meth and LSD.
They said she was high. Fell in.
Hmm.
Look at the posterior.
- Holy shit. - Yeah.
ID'd as Rianne Olivier, 22,
lives in Pelican Island, population, 300.
Grandpa's still there.
Got a phone at the dock.
I don't know if I can sell this shit.
Two days. We dig in this direction.
If this is his, it's some kind of archetype.
DB, Ville Platte. Machinist. You're up.
We caught a break in the case, boss.
I thought you were handing that off.
- What break? - KA of the victim.
Might've known the killer, boss. Might've seen him.
We follow up. We still got a few days.
Two days, then it goes to task force.
You two catch again.
You try that serial theory on him, he will pull you just for spite.
Pelican Island's two hours away.
What church teaches that?
The Christian Church does not leach that.
The Catholic Church does not...
Hey.
Mmm-hmm?
You think a man can love two women at once?
I mean, be in love with them?
I don't think that man can love.
At least not the way that he means.
The inadequacies of reality always set in.
This pipeline's carved up this coast like a jigsaw.
The place is gonna be underwvater in 30 years.
Do you think...
Do you wonder ever
if you're a bad man?
No, I don't wonder, Marty.
The world needs bad men.
We keep the other bad men from the door.
That's him.
When was the fast time you saw your granddaughter?
She left four years ago.
Like her ma.
I wasn't surprised they found her like that.
Everybody think they're gonna be something they're not.
Everybody think they got these big plans.
She had a boyfriend you know about? A man'?
She took up with that Ledoux fellow.
Older boy.
Shit family.
Run off with him.
I ain't never had nobody ask me about him before.
They just tell me she died in the flood.
That Ledoux family, they still live around here?
Oh, maybe a cousin or two.
Been shrinking every year.
Hurricane Andrew wiped most of the folks out around here.
So you got a full name on that Ledoux boy?
Reggie.
Reggie Ledoux.
Fathers Ban Ledoux.
Works offshore. Drunkard.
I heard he died. Heh.
So, where'd Rianne go 10 school?
Light of Way, when it was open.
Kids either went there or they were bused to Abbeville.
State said a kid got to be bused two hours away to school.
I ain't too big on them God-botherers.
Between them and the government.
How about her parents? Other relatives?
Fathers a merchant seaman.
Mother's in California, last I heard.
Do you have anything of hers?
Possessions, anything that'd give us an idea of what she might've been like?
What you boys looking all this up for?
I was told she drowned in the flood.
Now, I ain't no idiot.
You telling me she ain't done drown?
We don't know that, sir.
We're just looking for a man that might've known her.
Who?
That's what we're trying to figure out.
He ended up having a little box of her stuff,
had her last yearbook, 10th grade.
Not a hint of feeling from the old man.
Kind of guy...
Blinders.
But Why'd he keep the box, huh?
Did he ask himself?
Anyway, I guess that's one way to do it.
Keep your eyes on the crab traps.
He kind of reminded me of Rust a little bit.
This school is small.
Grades 1 through 12.
Rianne Olivier, here she is.
- Tenth grade' Hmm.
This school was part of Tuttle's foundation.
Good afternoon.
Afternoon.
This place shut down in '92, right?
- Yeah, way I heard it. - What'd you hear?
Well, Andrew blew it out.
Guess they didn't think it was worth cleaning up.
Do you work here, then?
No, sir. I work for the parish.
Cover several properties.
I-23?
I-23, go.
I got comeback on your R and L.
Reginald Ledoux. DOB 11-13-60.
You know anybody who went here or worked here back then?
Mmm.
No, sir.
I only been coming here the last few months.
Parish added it to my work order.
Thank you for your time.
Who walks that fucking slum
What do you got?
R and I just came back.
Reggie Ledoux skipped parole eight months ago.
He's got a statch rape complaint. Charges dropped.
But '93, he's busted in connection to a narcotics lab used to make meth and LSD,
which Dora Lange and Rianne were full of.
Right.
Ledoux did two years at Avoyelles,
and guess who his cellmate was the last four months?
Charlie Lange.
I gotta give you this one.
I started to believe you were going a tittle off your nut,.
I mean, you're bonkers, just not on this.
All right. Well, where's Ledoux?
Getting a list of relatives, KAs.
Been out of pocket since jumping parole.
We'll find him.
This makes sense.
It looks good, baby.
All right. We are on our way.
- To Avoyelles. - Fuck, yeah, Martin. Let's go.
I'm calling the interstate APB and the U.S. Marshals on this.
L-23, dispatch.
Come in, 1-23.
What can I say?
I thought for a minute you just liked looking at pictures of dead people.
I need an all-state APB on one Reginald Ledoux.
R and I came back with info.
All U.S. Marshals and highway patrol, be advised.
Detain on sight. Over.
Roger that, De festive. We 'I! process that now.
Mmm-mmm-mmm!
And finally, we arrive at Reginald Ledoux. Heh.
Come on, man.
You wanna ask me, ask, God damn it.
You ever been in a gun fight?
No.
Well, then how the fuck you gonna know what I'm talking about?
Man, that place...
I never...
It reminded me of my pop talking about 'Nam.
And the jungle thing.
Look, me talking about what happened back then,
that ain't gonna do you any good now.
This.
This is what I'm talking about.
This is what I mean when I'm talking about time
and death, and futility.
There are broader ideas at work.
Mainly, what is owed between us, as a society, for our mutual illusions.
Fourteen straight hours of staring at DBs,
these are the things you think of.
You ever done that?
You look in their eyes, even in a picture.
Doesn't matter if they're dead or alive, you can still read them.
And you know what you see?
They welcomed it.
Mmm-hmm.
Not at first, but right there in the last instant, it's an unmistakable relief.
See, 'cause they were afraid and now they saw for the very first time
how easy it was to just let go.
And they saw... tn that fast nanosecond, they saw
what they were.
That you, yourself, this whole, big drama,
it was never anything but a jerry-rig of presumption and dumb will.
And you could just let go.
Finally know that you didn't have to hold on so tight.
To realize that
in all your life,
all your love, all your hale, all your memory, all your pain,
it was all the same thing.
It was all the same dream,
a dream that you had inside a locked room.
A dream about being a person.
And like a lot m' dreams,
there's a monster at the end of it.
Ripped By mstoll