He's sleepwalking into oblivion. Uncontrolled migration,
hyperinflation, rampant crime...
Here we go. The 5 PM.
- All good? - Yeah, I'm good.
Greg, considering it's my first post-Logan election,
and I have Cyd running around town,
spitting poison like a fucking king cobra with an iPhone.
I have PGN to the left of me. I have FVA to the right.
I gotta deliver the best election numbers ever,
'cause my bosses want to rip my heart out as a peace offering
to all Congress. So, Greg, you know, I'm a little bit tense.
Just a little bit tense.
Well, yeah, I'm feeling pretty good.
- Hey, Tom. - Hey, Ken.
You good? You feeling good?
Needs to be gangbusters tonight, man, yeah?
Yeah, you got it. You got it.
All right, need those numbers, T.
Really want to see those numbers, Tom, okay?
Market's watching. First Super Bowl.
How are we gonna cope without the king, right?
Okay, got it, Ken. All good, all good. Hey, Pam, how's it looking?
A bit of crackle.
We have a news van and a bit of trouble in Oregon.
Things looking fighty in Milwaukee.
Did you see the viral thing about the woman who voted,
like, 40 times for Jimenez under her dead mom's name?
We tracked her down. Not super reliable.
She's not a well person.
Well, you're not a doctor, Pam.
Until you qualify, why don't you get her on the air?
Long night in dress shoes?
Cyd used to go for these sort of slip-ons with a padded sock.
Probably 'cause she couldn't get her cloven hooves in regular shoes.
I'm perfectly comfortable, Pam.
I've got good arches. They've been remarked upon.
- 5 PM exit polls. Come on. - Hey, Darwin.
You know... They're cool.
You don't do anything special tonight, do you?
Just somebody who was talking about adult diapers.
I think there's always time for the bathroom.
Okay, thanks.
Okay, excuse me. Coming through, coming through here.
Hey, everybody, so terms and conditions.
Forgive me, those of you who already know this.
- You get some rest, though? - No.
- Marital strife. - Can I hear a "got it"?
- Got it! - Thank you.
- How was your night? - With Matsson? Pretty monstrous.
His crew knows some unseemly venues. I danced with an old man.
He didn't want to dance, but they made us dance.
He was so confused.
I drank things that aren't normally drinks.
And I got the impression...
Do you know about Matsson with Shiv
and their business alliance agreement?
Well, I'm sure I don't know what you're talking about.
Okay, I didn't think so. You want to strategize?
You want to fry her ass up?
Information, Greg. It's like a bottle of fine wine.
You store it, you hoard it,
you save it for a special occasion,
and then you smash someone's fucking face in one.
So what we're hearing is, and remember, this is not decisive.
What we're seeing is Mencken may be overperforming
in Georgia and Arizona.
So our early read would be, "closer than polls have suggested".
Close, but Jimenez likely edging on what we've seen.
Listen, this is privileged information.
Leaks that suppress or encourage turnout could result in our ejection
from the national election pool, okay?
You heard the man. Zip it.
That's great.
Okay, Tom says, "exit polls say looks like Jimenez".
- No leaks. - That's great.
I mean, I got four smileys from Gil. They think they've got it.
Well, I have got eggplant, eggplant, flag from Mencken.
Well, two eggplants is not as much as four smileys, obviously.
Four smileys is symptomatic of the complacency
at the heart of his out-of-touch campaign.
Eggplant, eggplant, flag reeks of the misogynistic bravado
that has so repelled the median voter.
Jesus. I feel sick.
Why? It's fun. My team's playing your team.
It's only spicy 'cause if my team wins, they're gonna shoot your team.
Okay, but what are you hearing?
Seriously, are these your vans, the Nazi vans?
The fun vans? The fun buses, yeah.
Yeah, in Florida, they picked people up telling them they were taking them
to vote and then a kid got left by the highway.
- It's fucking kidnapping, Rome. - It's fucking kidnapping now?
False flag. Nice try. Kidnapping? It's kidnapping.
- Hey. - Lukas. Hey!
So, it's looking like Jimenez, which is good for democracy
and great for us.
So, either way, I think that we consider releasing
your, you know, your funky numbers maybe tomorrow, day after tomorrow.
Just get ahead of the numbers,
and I can come up with some language.
I was talking last night
to Oskar and Gregory Peggory about that.
I'm sorry, you spoke to Greg about this?
He was part of a conversation, just as a normalist,
and then I was wondering,
maybe we keep my terrible secret a secret, you know?
Okay. Yeah, look, let me have a think about that.
I gotta take this. I'll call you back.
Nate, how's things in Mission Control Denver?
You in at ATN, Shiv?
Upstairs. Leave it to them. Dad's rules.
Well, they need to be covering the intimidation. Pretty dark, Shiv.
Who watches the watchmen? I fucking do.
You getting good numbers?
Good. I'm just watching the weather. Storm clouds in Nevada.
We got people in line.
Disturbance in Wisconsin, but, yeah, yeah.
Scared, but good.
Precinct data is...
Pennsylvania, Arizona could be tough.
Let's keep this channel open
on all things Matsson and me and the new ATN, yeah?
All things good.
All right, so Jimenez wins,
and he just waves the fucking deal through. And then we're what?
I guess fucking last ditch? The board? The shareholders?
Okay, Jeryd wants face to face.
Okay, me too?
I doubt it. I'm asking. Do you want to try Gil?
- Or maybe direct Jimenez? - Feels kind of sweaty.
Maybe I'll wait a day.
I guess today's the fucking day, right?
Like, today's the day the rooster puts his head in our hands,
and today is the moment of maximum leverage.
No, it looks like just me. It's a bit tight for both of us.
Fuck him.
All right, go, go, go. Sure.
Let me know what you come up with.
- Hey, Rava. - Hey, listen.
We are all okay, but we're a bit freaked out.
There is an SUV. We think there's an SUV,
and it's following. So can we come to the office?
Because you have good security at the office.
- What's the license plate? - The license...
Is it TR... It's probably mine.
I didn't want Sophie to freak, so I just actioned it.
Oh, my God, you're having me followed?
The covert surveillance to show you care? The actual fuck, Ken?
An extra layer of bubble wrap for her and Ivey.
Are you guys okay? You okay?
- Is she okay? - She's scared, Ken.
I am scared. I don't... There is shit burning.
- There is intimidation. - Relax, okay? Relax.
Tell Sophie I love her, and that is why I do everything I do.
Hey, Soph? Soph, I love you, sweetie, okay?
Nothing's gonna happen.
Exit polls say Jimenez, okay?
I won't let the world push you, okay, sweetie? Okay.
Ken.
Hey, man, just calling to say good luck.
- Great numbers. - Thanks, man.
And, listen, apologies if things got a bit heated.
A lot of shit going down.
Victory vans and shitheads kicking off in Milwaukee.
- ATN wanna cover? - Yeah.
I'll talk, but gotta let them do their thing, but yeah.
Listen, you got Daniel there?
You know, let me see.
Yeah, come in.
Sir, you here for Kendall Roy?
- Hey, Kendall. - Hey, Dan.
Hey, man. Good luck.
Just best of luck.
Thanks, man. Great to speak.
But when this is over,
I think there needs to be a big conversation about tech, is all I'd say.
Great to speak. I'm gonna put Nate back on.
Sure, and may the best man who will protect American jobs
and reign in tech and is called Daniel win, you know?
Let's catch up. Have a good one, man.
Yeah, sure. Sure, man.
You know, tonight, my eye is just right here,
making sure it's fair as fuck. All right?
Have a good night, man. Stay hydrated.
- Hey, come on in. - Thank you.
Busy, busy. Hello, hello. Look at you, losing it.
- Like a massive fucking loser. - Yeah, well, I blame you.
Couldn't deliver Connor, huh?
ATN scared to run all the fraud.
Well, I keep my hands out, you know? Fuck you. What is this?
'Cause, you know, I'm quite busy.
- You're busy? - Yes, I am busy.
I don't run around town like some fucking food-bike guy.
Just wanted to say a couple things.
Very directly...
- We still think we can win. - Sure.
- But I am very focused on losing. - All right.
Winning is easy. Winning would take care of itself.
But if I lose, I need to work on what assholes would call the narrative.
Like insurgent campaign, unfairly maligned as extremist
by the Coastal Masturbation Factory.
Exactly. If I lose, I want it correctly characterized
as a huge victory, over-performed, right?
I want to be the president. I want you to be a partner in that,
and if it isn't tonight, it will be next time.
Even if you're not going to be the president,
you're going to be our president.
Exactly. You, me will go far.
Over the road and into the bar.
So listen, at some point tonight, could we do a chat,
in terms of the me of things and, like, how to play it?
Because Matsson, he treated me quite abominably,
but it felt like trusting, and he was saying a lot of things.
Okay, enough, enough, enough. Where's my coffee?
- Tom, I don't do coffee anymore. - No, Greg.
Greg, I have to be clear. I have to.
If I get drowsy,
and I miscall Colorado, instability, right?
Then the US loses credibility, China spots an opportunity, invades Taiwan,
tactical nukes, fucking shit goes kablooey, and we're back to amoeba.
It's a long way back from pond life.
'cause you failed to get me a double shot, okay?
Okay, well, do you want some of what you asked for?
No, I don't think so. What do you think?
Maybe, no, election night...
- Your call, I mean... - Yeah, hit me.
But this is not a thing, okay? It's not going in a book.
- Let's just... - Yeah, okay. Quick as a whistle.
What do we have here? What's on the board?
Just rubbing the board, innocently, simply cleaning the whiteboard here.
- Here you go. - No, no, not for me.
I'm just starting to feel normal from last night.
You'll do it with Matsson, but not with me?
I don't want you looking all judgy all night. Come on.
No, I need a clear head, and I don't want to get addicted.
Shut up, Greg. Don't be Mom. Come on.
I don't want to. Please.
Greg, it's medically good for your brain. It is.
What are you saying? All Aztecs is stupid?
Don't be a racist little bitch about it. Come on.
Yeah, okay.
What? Are you pretending? Are you pretending to do coke?
- Some got up. - Fucking do it.
There. God!
What the fuck is that?
I guess they were ordering some for folks.
I said, "Why not get you one?".
Bodega sushi? Are you insane?
That's not me. That's Samson.
No, not Samson, Greg! Not Samson! Not!
I want you Gregging for me.
You're busted back down to Greg tonight.
Yeah, tonight, my digestive system is basically part
of the Constitution, okay?
Microwave milk and ginger shots, American bottled water,
spaghetti, and olive oil, okay?
- Okay? - Okay.
- Hey, Con. - Tom.
Yeah, I got this crew here.
And they're filming the stuff, but none of it is making it on the show.
Dude, is there any film in these cameras?
Yeah, I think we are planning to feature, Con.
Well, no, because I'm watching.
Now, I expected to be frozen out
by all those other mooks, but you guys, come on.
Give me some sugar, man. Maybe everyone voted for me.
- We don't know. - Schrodinger's cat.
Schrodinger's cat, Tom.
Until we open the boxes, I'm just as much president as the other two, yeah?
Come on. If I do it, that's the story of all time.
Okay, I've got to go, but I'll see what I can do.
But I've got to go, 'cause the polls are closing.
Okay, if it's gonna happen anywhere, it's gonna happen in Kentucky.
Anything can happen.
So glad I didn't drop out.
It just makes an election so much more interesting when you're in it.
You gotta be in it to win it.
And it is 7 o'clock on the East Coast,
which means polls have just closed in half a dozen states.
The most closely watched states at this hour,
Georgia, with its 16 electoral votes,
and Virginia with its 13, both key battleground states.
As of this moment, it is too early to project a winner in either.
But our decision desk can announce at this hour
that Representative Jeryd Mencken will defeat Governor Daniel Jimenez
in the Commonwealth of Kentucky as well as in the state of Indiana,
where Mencken has enjoyed a lead over Jimenez
in the pre-election polling.
Governor Jimenez will win in the state of Vermont.
No big surprises there in the early part of the evening.
We will need to look at more data before we can make a projection.
Hey, fuck Kentucky, Con!
- No. - Yes, fuck.
No. I shan't become that, no.
Alas, Kentucky, Willa.
Alas, vanity.
Voters have made their voices heard.
This could be the most important election in our lifetime.
So with polls about to close...
No, I told you. You can give it to me, Billy. Thank you.
As we heat up, Tom, how much do you want to give
to a fair bit of intimidation, his folks and ours?
So, like fire in Wisconsin, in Milwaukee, could be nasty.
Could be electrical failure. Might be Menckenists.
Camera smash, crew harassed in Portland. That's them.
I trust you.
All these counties here, again, a little board malfunction here.
What's he doing? What's this? Hey, Pam?
The touch screen. What's happening with the touch screen?
Tell him to stop touching the touch screen.
We have a replacement in place.
- It's fine. - It's not fine.
You can see that it's not fine. It's malfunctioning. Fuck!
Touch screen's malfunctioning.
And we're gonna zoom in. You can see right here...
- The board seems to be acting up. - What's going on?
The touch screen is malfunctioning.
What's going on? What the fuck is going on?
We're on it. Graphics generator just shat the bed.
- Where is my touch screen? - You're losing it, Dave.
Don't lose it, Dave. Don't lose it tonight, Dave.
It is now 9 PM on the East Coast.
Can we get an ET on that replacement?
What the fuck's going on with the touch screen? Tom?
- I'm on it. I'm all over it. - You're not on it. Fucking get on it.
Figure it out. Yeah, figure it out.
- Now. - It's happening.
- Ken, it's happening. - We're about to get a new batch.
And if we drop numbers now, I'm gonna come down there
and put your fucking head through that touch screen.
- Fix it, fix it, fix it! - No need to catastrophize.
Where's the touchscreen? Is it loading up?
- It's loaded up. - Well, get it on air.
We're gonna be hemorrhaging. We're gonna be a laughing stock.
We're on it, Tom. No one will notice, okay?
We've done this before. We have three, and they're all lined up.
No one will notice? I noticed. Am I no one?
Do I look like no one? Do I?
I mean, how the fuck are we behind social media on this?
We need to be leading this.
Hey, Tom. You got this fire in Wisconsin.
You got this?
Yes, I think we have that. Yeah, electrical.
Why aren't we covering, Tom?
Well, because we always have to choose what to focus on,
and just because something is on fire doesn't make it new.
- Electrical failure? - Not what we hear.
No, it's not what Nate hears, Tom.
- Well, bully for Nate. - Hey, Tom.
- Hey, Nate. - We need to be all over this, Tom.
Yeah, okay, I just think it's important to keep our unique perspective,
because we are getting conflicting reporting.
What about the actual photos I can see of it happening?
There are many, many things happening in this nation right now.
There are a million data points,
and we have to select the ones that are consequential.
If these nutjobs are going paramilitary, we could say that.
But yes, we just need to respect our viewership.
By not telling them anything they don't want to hear?
You guys get this about the Antifa firebombing in Milwaukee?
No, we hear it's his people, Mencken's.
Okay, when it becomes a story, then we'll run the story.
Well, this is happening in, what, a vote counting center?
Yeah, it's a story, Tom, it's a story.
- Do not micromanage me, please. - Tom !
They're evacuating.
We've got a local chopper up and a reporter on the way.
Guys, I've got to manage this. I'll keep you looped, yeah?
Talk to Greg, yeah?
Yeah, hey, hey.
We're not talking to Greg.
Amateur hour down there.
Okay, so if it happened in Milwaukee,
and if it's deliberate, then it's Menckenists.
False flag, could be.
You can't just say false flag every time you don't fucking agree with something.
Okay, guys.
We want a report about a fire in Milwaukee,
initially thought to have been caused by an electrical failure,
but now there are claims and some counterclaims
made by groups who are protesting alleged voting irregularities.
Hey, okay, well, do you know if any of the ballots are intact?
- It doesn't look likely. - Where you at?
Depends how many votes have gone.
- But ballots have been lost? - Yeah.
We're chartering flights to Milwaukee.
A ton of number crunching by our analytics team.
We're trying to check the Milwaukee County voter rolls
to see who's voted so far, but can you help with the narrative?
Yeah.
Have you got all the bodies that you need?
Yeah, yeah. We have a SWAT team on it.
They're interfacing with the Wisconsin team.
Apparently he's just touching too hard for it.
He's touching with...
No, Rome. Roman, no brass on the battlefield, okay?
That's one of Logan's Geneva Conventions. Please, please.
They evacuated the count center?
I don't know. I'm down on my last fucking touchscreen.
What's going on?
Nothing. Tom just thinks that China's hacking his tech.
I do not, but I do think he would be more comfortable upstairs.
Greg, will you please help them upstairs?
I think you would be more comfortable upstairs.
- Hello, Tom! - Can I just wrangle you?
- Wrangle? - The ballots are still in there?
- Okay, where are we? - What's going on?
Greg, can you please take the VIPs to an upstairs setting?
Can I grab the three of you...
Tom! Reporter on the way. Three, four out.
- All right, all right. - Tom? Can I have a word?
- Won't take long, Tom. - I really can't.
I know. Can you please? I just wanted to apologize
for some of the things that I said last night, okay?
Okay.
And to, you know, give you an opportunity to...
Well, I can't do it to that, so...
How should I frame my face? Huh?
You scared that I'm gonna blab about you and Matsson?
- Jesus fucking Christ, Tom. - What?
- My father just died, yeah? - Yeah.
My father just died.
So maybe, you know, I can get a little consideration on that
and for, you know, a number of reasons I've been feeling off-kilter,
so I'm sorry, but...
- Sure. - What does that mean? Sure?
- It means you hated him, Siobhan. - I didn't hate him. I loved him.
Well, it was complicated, but sometimes you certainly hated him,
and you also sort of killed him.
- What the... - Sort of.
Yeah, sort of. That's the part that I'm gonna remember.
Thanks. No, thank you.
Okay, you know what? Actually, also, I'm pregnant.
Yeah, by you.
And there's never a good time to say, but you need to know,
so okay. Now you know.
Right.
Is that even true?
What?
Like, is that even true?
Or is that, like, a new position or a tactic? Or what?
Okay.
Wait, so we have an area. Is it upstairs?
Yeah. Uh-huh, yeah. I think things are tough.
- With my situation and Tom. - You want us to have him killed?
- I could do that. - Yeah, maybe.
I mean, I think he's just a piece of filth,
and there's stuff I would like to tell you, but...
Hey, I've been trying to get them to move not in an aggressive way, but...
Yeah, I mean, you just can't trust him.
We got you.
In terms of the fire, it is still burning,
and crews are struggling to contain, let alone extinguish.
Are there any reports so far of injuries?
None for now, fortunately. The building was evacuated immediately
and all workers have been accounted for.
Well, I'm gonna sneak now that we're all in here.
Who's responsible? That's the story, right?
Who burnt this place down?
Yeah, to me, it always comes down to a couple of favorites,
the blacks or the Jews.
- I'm kidding. It's a fucking joke. - Will you please...
Got it. Hey, Connor.
Rome.
Jeryd isn't picking up.
Yeah. It's a busy night for him.
Because I wondered if what we talked about
might still be on offer, ambassadorship wise.
Well, that was kind of a yesterday offer, Connor.
You know if he doesn't make this,
you're gonna be partially responsible. I hope you're cool with that.
Rome, I spent, like, a hundred mil here.
Couldn't I get a sniff of even a little guy?
Organize a little coup down in old Peru?
Put me in a Van to Tajikistan?
Couldn't I just be our fun guy in Uruguay?
Your rhymes are compelling, but what's in it for him, Con?
Maybe just one of the finest political operators of his generation
sorting shit out.
- I'll get back to you. - Just this one.
Every four years, in fact,
it's probably going to come down to a handful of states
like Wisconsin, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Georgia, and Arizona.
Ignore the narratives early on and just realize
that we're going to be in for a dogfight,
for a late night in those last couple of states.
It is 11 PM on the East Coast.
Polls have just closed in four more key states.
Okay, thanks.
The ATN decision desk can now project that...
So under state law, the vote can't be certified
until the absentee ballots are counted.
So no Wisconsin result is valid until the absentee ballots are counted.
- And how does Daniel feel? - Confident, but terrified.
I don't know, is there a name for that feeling?
Cuspy?
Rome, so under Wisconsin law, the vote can't be certified.
Mencken says Wisconsin's done. That's their position.
But, well, no, there's, like, 100 000 absentee Milwaukee ballots missing.
So we have to figure out a way to go forward.
Well, go forward to undermine Mencken's lead?
- Does he have a lead? - Yep, yes.
An artificial lead with 100 000 Milwaukee absentee ballots missing.
Every vote must be counted.
I think she's right.
Well, yeah, okay, but we can count the votes that we have.
However, unfortunately, some are lost, so...
Unfortunately some are lost?
Meaning what? Fascist fuckheads burnt them.
We literally do not know that. It could very easily be your fucks.
You're making hay for political violence.
Or your guys knew they were going to lose,
so they did something crazy to throw it into question and get a revote.
- You don't believe that. - Yeah, maybe I do. I don't know.
Jimenez is gonna take Pennsylvania and Michigan and Arizona,
so I don't know why you're getting so fucking uppity about this shit.
Why are you getting so uppity about this shit if you're so confident?
Because if Mencken wins, it's the end of the world, okay?
I'd like a little fucking cushion.
Jimenez won't block the GoJo deal, so fuck the guy, right?
Who knows? Maybe he would. We cannot let that be the thing...
That's not the thing, right, Ken?
I don't know.
- Ken... - I don't know.
Don't get cynical.
Not cynical, no, it's just...
What's happening is happening. I'm a realist.
Yeah, says a man who'd cut his son's throat
and then eat him on the high pass.
- We can all say nasty shit. - Jesus fucking Christ.
Hey, so, FVA is saying they have enough vote reported
to call Wisconsin, so Freedom Voice America and VariNews are calling.
Great, the maniacs.
Well, can't get out-flanked, we need to be fast,
so I think we should call it, right?
No, no, no!
Tom, what is, an independent...
Can you get us Decision Desk Darwin ?
Yep.
I want to say a few words about the emerging situation in Milwaukee,
the situation the American people are watching with increasing concern.
We have a process...
Respect the process, count every vote.
He's so fucking dull.
Flop your dick out, pop a nut, do something.
That decision will have no legitimacy if it does not account
for all the ballots cast.
Okay, Dar, thank you,
and we have some thoughts and some questions.
Thank you, Darwin.
Do you have a result as it stands in Wisconsin?
- We've tallied the vote totals so far. - Yeah, I know, and?
Margin for Mencken is significant.
Couldn't be made up by outstanding, existing, uncounted votes,
only the ones destroyed.
Okay, and we're not waiting for burned votes, so we call it.
- Right? - I think they have to hold it again.
A revote.
I would say revote is incredibly rare and complex,
because while we theoretically know
everyone who requested an absentee ballot,
we don't entirely know how many turned them in,
and there's nothing in Wisconsin law that really covers what to do.
Exactly. You can't do it. Boom. Mencken, thank you.
But of course, the team knows.
We know how the missing votes would have broken down.
Well, they're gone.
There's no way to know what was on those ballots.
Well, we do know, because past elections,
Milwaukee overwhelmingly votes Democrat.
- But you don't actually know. - Sure.
- I just basically do know. - We do know.
Because you're so plugged in, you know how all the little peasants vote?
This is the grown-ups' table, be serious.
This is serious. Ballots get lost every election.
- You can't get burnt ballots back. - Bullshit. Just bullshit.
It's full of fucking bullshit. What?
- You sound a little unhinged. - You fucking watch it, Tom.
There's no way to say in here how people would have voted.
You want to just run your model and not bother with all the people?
We're saying, historically, people overwhelmingly...
Historically, people used to burn witches. We should do that?
Burn witches? Rome, look!
We just know that the fire would have destroyed a lot of Jimenez's ballots.
So the fire favors GOP, claims mad witch.
- We just know. - We're not gonna rerun the election.
And if the right gets wrongly blamed for this,
what would that do? If the left does, could get nasty.
- Where are you going? - I am going to the bathroom to shit.
Would you like me to livestream it?
Ken, you want to weigh in?
Mark Raven had had some thoughts about what we've been seeing.
- I just think it's hard. - But we know. We just do.
That if the lost votes were counted, Jimenez would take the state.
Mark is commenting directly. ATN voice.
Isn't this funny? With polls which undercount support
for traditional values.
So, yeah, maybe some of the crazies heard they were underperforming
and decided to stop the counting and destroy the evidence.
And so, yeah, you just stay quiet.
Roman sent talking points.
We'll guess what we think was on those ballots.
- We'll decide, yeah? - Is he down there?
They know best, right?
And you'll eat what's for dinner because they don't really care
for folks who answer back or ask too many questions. Shut up!
Innumerate residuum.
We'll figure it out and issue you
with your new government to march into your homes and take whatever we want
in the way of your mechanisms of self-defense
and tell your son she's actually your daughter
or the other way around.
Hey, Shiv, do you mind actually not going on the floor?
- It's all just peachy. - Shiv!
And the new president is opening up his borders to his friends.
Bullshit, Roman, fuck you.
It's obvious, painful, we need to be smarter than this,
better than this, we need a fucking opposing viewpoint.
Do we call security?
Sorry, you can't come down here.
- It's not me. - Hey, Lukas.
What the fuck is going on?
Yeah, great fucking question.
- Powerful commentary, huh? - I don't feel good necessarily.
Shucks.
Is it okay? Do I need to hustle?
Do I need to get ready to be cozy with this fucking Mr. Scary?
No, no, I can handle it.
Greg tells me it's getting kind of hairy in there.
Don't let him break my toy, Shiv, okay?
Okay. I'll be in touch.
Sorry, we just need you off the floor if that's okay.
Yeah, got a minute?
And now, apparently the Democrats are accusing
this fire of being biased.
That's right, yeah, that sounds pretty much something out of their camp.
It only burned Democratic votes, yeah?
You know, it's one of those picky fires.
- Come on in. - Yeah.
Yeah, just wanted to check in, you know?
- It's been busy, so... - Right, yeah, on election day.
Yeah.
So how was your night last night with Lukas?
Shiv, I went for a drink with him. That's not my fault.
Do you find me attractive, Gregory?
I don't think of things such as that.
I thought you were a "disgusting brother".
Was that too disgusting for you?
This is not appropriate.
Yeah, I'm sorry...
'Cause I'm just letting you know
that if you try to fuck me, I'll kill you.
Got it.
Got it, sorry, yeah.
I guess my only question would be
if anything did come to pass in terms of you and he,
you know, silence is golden.
Like how golden?
- Is there an offer? - Yeah.
How about I offer for you to keep all your internal organs
rather than I pull them out your asshole?
Go on, you're lumber. Keep your snout out.
Simultaneously destroying diversity of opinion wherever possible.
Hey, guess what? Mencken will block the deal.
Sraight up, he'll kill it.
If he wins, he'll refer it to FTC, whatever,
new law, foreign ownership tightening.
He'll screw it up in exchange for our support tonight.
In so many words?
Those words. Shall I get Tom?
Shall I get the human abacus, shall I? Let's do it.
This is good news.
Hey, hey. So, thanks for whatever.
We have the votes, so can't rerun fairly
and can't let lefty terrorism affect this, so let's call it.
On what precedent? By what authority?
By the power of me, the CEO of Waystar,
telling you what to put on the telebox mouth people.
I don't think we can do that, guys.
I think we can do it, Dar.
If we call it, and the others went his way...
Right, well, look, there are still outstanding states.
There's Michigan, Ohio, Georgia, Arizona.
It's really not that big a deal. It's one state.
I'm worried it's not a decision that I could necessarily...
Yeah, thank you, and everyone respects you, Darwin,
but this isn't actually a numbers thing.
I mean, the Wisconsin Elections Commission,
the Milwaukee Election Commission will go to court,
and the camps will litigate it, and it'll be a jurisdiction fight
that I think Mencken might shake, but, you know, we can't...
Yeah, that's great, but I'm just gonna say we're good,
and that's on me.
The votes that exist have been tallied, and that gives Mencken the state.
But you don't make the call. I make the call.
We're gonna make the call together.
You can't make the call till I make the call.
Okay, so, and I'm not gonna make you do anything.
This is the situation in Wisconsin. How would you feel
if we were to not call it, call it, but...
Like, pending. We could call it pending.
You could even explain it.
We can get a camera on you to explain it to people.
I could explain.
And could there be a graphic that makes it clear the call
isn't a "call" call?
Pending call.
- All right, so... - Yeah? Satisfied?
- We can. - Great.
- What's up? - You okay?
There's something in my eyes.
Greg. Hey, wasabi.
Is it wasabi? Is wasabi in my eyes?
- I've got wasabi in my eyes? - Wait, wait, wait.
No, it's gone more in!
- What's going on? - It's on my fingers.
What'd you do to him?
Greg! Get some water or something, Greg!
Fuck me slowly, this smarts.
Greg, put water in. Put water in.
That's lemon! It's lemon, Greg!
- That's clear. It's La Croix. - Greg, what are you doing?
- It's lemony! - Jesus H. Christ.
No, it's natural, like medical.
Give it to me.
It's not that lemony. It's just a hint of lemon.
Darwin, you good to call it?
He can't fucking call it, Rome.
We're calling it, Shiv. He just called it, okay?
Greg, do not put any more lemon water or wasabi in his eyes, okay?
Hey, Con, you shouldn't really be in here.
And a very good evening to you too.
- Hey, Presidente. - Rome. Sweetheart, one second.
Would you wait over here for me a second?
Fellas, would you wait over here for me a second?
Rome. How about I concede in his direction?
I scratch his balls, he scratches mine.
That's interesting. Perhaps-ish. Let me check on that.
- Perhaps-ish? - Perhaps-ish, yeah. Come on.
Pam, we're calling Wisconsin for Mencken. Get the graphics up.
Dave, let me know we're five out from calling Wisconsin.
All right, we are calling Wisconsin for Mencken, five minutes.
Is that graphic ready?
There is a big old call to make right now,
and that is ATN is projecting that Jeryd Mencken has won
the state of Wisconsin.
We've been reporting on that fire in the Milwaukee Vote Count Center.
Nonetheless, our decision desk is confident in making this call.
Jeryd Mencken has won the state of Wisconsin,
and there goes the blue wall. That's 10 electoral votes.
That brings Mencken up to 246...
Okay, man. Okay, there's something there.
Sordid backseat fuck job.
Tell me more.
He wants to keep up the momentum.
He is now 24 electoral votes away from winning the presidency.
- Do you really want it? - Slovenia, Willa.
I am torn, and he's very right-wing.
But Vienna for lunch, Venice for dinner.
And Dubrovnik for breakfast.
My fellow Americans, it's becoming clear tonight
that as far as we can tell,
Mr. Jeryd Mencken will likely be the next president of the United States.
And I, for one, wish him well.
Conner was running for president?
Although I set out a clear and compelling path,
America, under divine wisdom, has chosen to take another.
Well, good luck.
And I'd like to say to my first running mate, who I will not dignify
with a name check, but had that woman not dropped out,
and then had I not had to replace her with another figure
who turned out not to be able to bear the weight of public scrutiny,
had I not been betrayed by those two jackrabbits, who knows?
Politics of envy, ugly game.
I happen to be a billionaire. Sorry.
But honestly, America, you flunked it.
I guess you're gonna have to find some other poor mook's paps to suckle on.
The corrupt bipartisan system zombie marches on.
And so I call out to my friends tonight, to my people,
I say, Conheads, I salute you. And America, be afraid.
Be warned, for the Conheads are coming.
Thank you. God bless America.
ATN decision desk is now projecting Daniel Jimenez has won
the state of Michigan over Jeryd Mencken.
That's 15 electoral votes.
Our tally now goes, are you ready for this,
262 for Mencken and 262 for Daniel Jimenez.
A dead heat.
Polls will be closing soon in Alaska, the only state yet to be called
other than Arizona, and its 11 electoral votes.
Guys, just a heads up.
We hear, we are getting it from the campaigns,
the data nerds are hearing that... Dar, you say.
So Arizona is gonna go red.
All right, well then that would be it, right?
I mean, we're kind of boxed in because of Wisconsin.
I mean, I don't feel comfortable calling it.
PGN is gonna be calling it, right, Tom?
They're going to call Arizona.
Because if we call it... We called Wisconsin pending.
We already called Wisconsin, okay? We can't uncall Wisconsin, can we?
That would make us all look pretty unprofessional.
So, Arizona, we're calling the election?
- Yeah. - No, no.
- No? - No.
- It's math, dude. - Will you guys give us a minute?
Sure, okay.
One minute, be back in one minute, please. What?
- That's it. - I don't know.
Like, maybe, maybe we revisit Wisconsin.
That was kind of... Right?
I get it. No, you're gonna like big brother it right now.
- That's what you're gonna do? - No, like what?
Like when, you know, if you want roast chicken and I wanted steak,
we always had chicken.
Because you'd freak out, you'd tantrum, so they thought...
I would fucking tantrum because I never had fucking steak.
Well, I think they got scared if you tantrum,
then you'd think you'd won, so they couldn't let you have steak.
Because we had so much chicken, I have to like the fascist?
Yeah.
If we don't call it early and he wins anyway, which is perfectly possible,
but without us anyway, think about that.
With FVA and VariNews backing him,
we're left the most dickless eunuchs in cuck town.
If we call this, if we push it...
Maybe it happens.
Yeah, we give it to Mencken, Mencken blocks the deal.
He's not fucking wishy-washy, he's a guy.
I don't know, dude, I mean...
My kids, the whole thing...
America!
Well, I mean, it is kind of a nice idea, all the different people together.
What? All right, what would Dad do?
- I don't know, I don't actually know. - Yes, you fucking do, man.
The guy in the pocket, the guy that's gonna answer our calls,
the fucking guy printing US dollars.
This is all upside.
Apart from the matter of him smashing the country to pieces.
Oh, God, don't be such a fucking prissy.
Okay, maybe we could deal with a dose of that, right?
Like a nice little dose of the frighteners, wind shit back 20?
One of those fucking guys pushed my daughter.
She's okay?
If we do this, people are gonna say shit.
Yeah, we'll be in the West Wing. Nothing matters, Ken.
Nothing fucking matters.
Dad's dead and the country's just a big pussy waiting to get fucked.
Fucking action, okay? We can pay for any damages.
Let's just jam our fucking heads in the bosom of history
and just... Right?
Or we sit on our hands like a couple of damsels in distress
and let our chance slip away.
PGN has a major projection to announce
and that is that Jeryd Mencken will win Arizona.
So he is the winner of 11 electoral votes in Arizona.
Jeryd Mencken wins the state of Arizona.
Can we talk for a minute?
Yeah, we're fucked, Ken.
We're fucked because we called, it's fucked.
I don't know what we should do.
I feel like my head is just like... I can't get the scale of it,
what this is.
We can recant, yeah?
His team is being very direct. They will block Matsson's deal.
Well, he says he will.
We call it for him. That gives him legitimacy to declare.
I mean, we're in bed with him, I think, yeah.
I mean, it'll get ground out in the courts, whatever we say.
Sure, right, but...
Shall we be totally honest in here?
I have sometimes felt like I could do it,
like I should do it, me.
Just me.
But I don't want that to be an end to the family thing.
I would like to be able to talk openly about that feeling, maybe.
Sure, yeah, no, I appreciate that.
Mencken is kind of Roman's guy, so that's complicated.
Yeah, right.
And honestly, I feel threatened, maybe, by their relationship,
and a piece of me wants to not support that,
and that's maybe in there, pulling away from Mencken.
- But also, you're a good guy. - Well, I don't know.
- Sure, you are. - Thank you.
No, essentially, you're a good guy.
But we all want to stop Matsson, right? That's the thing?
- Yeah. - Go on.
Well, I think whatever advantage to us as corporate players
in the short term, you know, Mencken's the nightmare.
Yeah? Plausible in a decadent era.
He says the bad shit, he believes the bad shit.
We wouldn't actually be making him president.
Sure, we might not be able to crown him, but we can stop him.
He gets momentum tonight, it makes it possible.
He needs our call.
I don't think I'm a very good father.
You are.
You're okay. You've tried.
That's all we can do.
- Maybe the poison drips through. - No.
No. You know what?
I don't think even Dad would back him tonight.
He basically picked him.
Sure, but we throw the papers and the whole thing in for him,
and then in a month, a week from now, the courts go the other way?
We're essentially done as a news organization.
It's just hard to think we'd give it all away to Matsson.
Could we try? Could you try once,
direct to Nate, to get something from them to block the deal?
Yeah.
- Yeah? - Sure.
- One of these? - Yeah.
You're a good guy.
Hey, Nate! Just calling...
I'm just wondering if Jimenez can...
Try to call again.
So, Shiv is seeing what we can get from de Dems.
Get the fuck out of here. Why?
We really need to know what we're doing, guys.
- If we want to stick with Wisconsin... - One moment, Tom.
So, you talk to him?
Yeah. I think there's something there.
- No, there's not. - Like...
Like they might be... They are willing to think.
They might be, or maybe they are willing to think?
- That sounds like horseshit. - No, Rome, they're just not so direct.
Yeah, I think we can probably get them to stop it.
Probably... Sorry, no. Game over. Bullshit.
No, we have to call it. Mencken is rock solid.
Roman, even Dad, in this situation would respect the process.
Dad did whatever the fuck he wanted.
One fact, he took out a government. He did it.
"Fuck Lyle". Send. And that was it.
That's all it took. Fucking Canada here.
- He didn't give a shit. - He liked stability, Rome.
He pushed, but he didn't want shit to unravel.
- He ended wars. - He ended wars that he started.
- He did whatever the fuck he wanted. - What did Nate actually say?
He said they would talk, and that they could see the arguments,
and I think it's encouraging.
- You felt like it was encouraging? - It was encouraging.
It was a feeling. I got something real.
This is fucking pointless. What a waste of time.
I'm gonna call.
I'm gonna be very direct. We just need a little bit more.
- Don't call him. - Why?
They're busy.
Can't have uncertainty. Can't. Fucking market.
The chaos of trying to rerun an entire election
could just send the country into meltdown.
Okay, bad faith argument.
You can't have uncertainty. China is coming.
- China is coming? - China's coming.
China's already been. Next.
It's not like the fucking final final anyway, okay?
There's the court shit, and it all kind of just fuzzes along, you know?
It's a waste of fucking time. That we don't have, by the way.
- Greg, can I ask you a question? - What's up?
Do you know if there's something going on...
What else Nate and Gil and fucking Jimenez offer you?
Unlimited social spending spending with this one weird trick?
How was that call?
What'd you get? Whole bunch of not much?
- Really? - What?
"I think you're a good guy"?
I found it hard to get Nate, so I summarized some impressions.
Right, right, right. Smart. Really good, Shiv.
But you lied. Right?
She didn't get anything from Nate. She didn't speak to Nate.
And she's in with Matsson.
- Sorry, what? - No, I...
No, I did what we all agreed to,
I got close to him, so that I could help.
Shiv's fucking us, right? Right, Shivy?
No. No, no, no, no.
I...
I fucking asked you some real questions, Shiv.
I wondered why you looked like a goose trying to shit a house brick,
you piece of dirt.
You got yourself a little fucking side deal here?
No, no, I have some options.
I was going through with the plan, and then you two...
Mencken. Mencken, right?
- Mencken. - No, what?
Tom!
No, you even wanted to push us out of fucking nest.
Please.
Ken, aside from all this, this is not the right thing.
Aside from the fact that you lied to us
and that doing what you want precisely plays into your own interests, yeah?
This doesn't? Yeah?
Ken, please, come on. Come on!
Who are we?
- Will no one think of the children? - I'm not gonna let this happen.
There comes a time where you have to stand...
Seriously, this is real, okay?
I have concern for the state of the republic
and pluralism and the future of this country...
You're such a bore Shiv, Jesus.
Fuck you! Ken.
- He's right. - Yeah, you're boring.
And you don't have a pass for in here.
Okay, well, fine. You know what? Maybe I'll go public.
I'll go to the papers and tell them what you're actually fucking doing.
If we're gonna just be hysterical,
we're gonna have to ask you to leave.
People are trying to do some serious work in here.
Fuck you. This is about the future of the country.
No, I think it's because you broke up with your boyfriend.
- Jesus, you're a prick. - Hello.
Hey, Tom.
So, call it. You can call it.
- No. - We're calling it?
Yeah, we called Wisconsin. Now we're gonna call Arizona,
so we call the election. We call the election?
Call it.
No, Tom, no. You're making a terrible mistake.
- Please don't. - Hey, guys, it's not my call.
It's your call. It's up to you.
- If you say so, I say so. - I say so.
- Fucking Pontious Pilate! - No one cares.
Hey. Tell them I'm coming down.
Yes. We're gonna call it. Yeah, we're calling from Mencken.
Okay, tell them I'm coming.
- Great work, Tom. - Thank you.
Good stuff. Great night.
Fuck!
You okay?
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I have to go tell them
we're calling it. For Mencken.
Yeah.
So, I should go. I'll get in trouble if I don't go.
Okay, dude. I mean...
I mean, it's not really my choice, right?
Sure. I mean, right. Yeah.
Yeah, I'm just pressing the button. Or I'm not even pressing the button.
I'm asking them to prepare to press the button.
And this is just like launch a nuclear attack.
It's not gonna change anything if I don't go. So...
- A couple minutes. - Right, right.
Realistically...
- Crazy. - Yeah.
Crazy one.
So Tom just told me. Everybody,
calling it from Mencken. He's calling it from Mencken.
- So he said, yeah? - I just said.
I'm calling it from Mencken. Okay?
- Okay. - Okay.
Okay. Well, then, Dave...
Okay. Lydia, get me "Mencken wins".
Get the ticker going on ATN citizens.
Let the people know two mins and ATN is gonna call it.
We are gonna make this call now.
The ATN decision desk has looked at the numbers
and is ready to declare Arizona for Jeryd Mencken.
This means that Mencken will be the next president of the United States,
winning the most unreal, surreal election we have ever seen.
His candidacy starting in Virginia only six months ago
against a dozen other Republican candidates
in the wake of the president saying he wasn't going to run for reelection.
What started off as an unlikely impossibility,
now a reality, it is Mencken.
Well, it's now clear I have won sufficient electoral votes
to be declared the next president of the United States.
And I find the responsibility awesome.
Now I know there are some who feel
there's something left to contest, but votes have been cast.
Votes have been tallied.
On another day, in another time, they might have fallen in another fashion.
The election has been called by an authority of known integrity.
Maybe we should get like a history guy.
Like a real brainiac to say
why this sort of thing has happened in the past
and that it'll all be fine.
To my critics, I am not a demagogue.
I am a defender of democracy.
But democracy, it has this tendency that we have to beware
to become mere transaction.
I give you this, you give me that.
I come begging for your vote, welfare checkbook out,
crowning the welfare kings and queens
till everyone's become a little tyrant crowned by the state.
The model that I follow
isn't from the scorched marketplace
where cunning men haggle for the best price.
That's not me.
The democracy I believe in is where a leader emerged from the people,
willed almost into being, brought forth
by the great sweetness of the virtue of the combined wisdom
of the good people of this republic.
Don't we long sometimes for something clean once in this polluted land?
That's what I hope to bring.
Not something grubby with compromise.
Something clean and true and refreshing.
He's a guy we can do business with.
Yeah.
Something proud and pure.
He'll play ball. You should hear him talk semiconductors.
The market's holding the leash.
We just made a night of good TV. That's what we've done.
Nothing happens.
Things do happen, Rome.
President calling.
Yo, Hocus POTUS, sitting in the POTUS position. What's up?
Hey man, look, no time, just thanks.
You and me, man, we'll go far.
Over the road and into the bar.
An election unlike anything we've ever seen.
followed by a speech for the ages.
The legal process is gonna be lengthy.
When do you think it'll all be over?
This could be going on for the next three months.
Hey, Tom, your phone, it's red hot, Tom.
A lot of very important people...
A lot of very important people wanna scream at you.
This is a little pointed.
The call was made personally by ATN boss Tom Wambsgans.
Darwin wants to know when to do his caveats.
Is there time for him to do it? No.
Hello? No.
He is, of course, known to be an associate of Jeryd Mencken.
Jesus fucking Christ, what's going on ?
Those funky numbers, I'm sending you words, yeah?
Let's get 'em out in the next 24. A lot of fucking news.
You guys are crazy.
Yeah, it's more than just fucking crazy, Lukas.
No, but this is crazy!
Well, we're gonna do a number on 'em.
We're gonna fuck them so hard, we're gonna fix this, yeah?
Fuck!
Can I come see the kids?
They're asleep.
Well, I can wait up for them.
I should be asleep, but I can't.
Okay, I'll see you tomorrow. I'll see you at the funeral, okay?
Some people just can't cut a deal, Fikret.