♪ ♪
One more.
Okay, how's that, sir?
Like a glass fucking slipper. Okay, good, hold on, hold on.
Let me get you.
There. All set.
I think I might need a piss.
You wanna go back up? You don't want another--
No, no, no, let's-- let's get on with it.
I can do it.
♪ ♪
One-two. One-two.
♪ ♪ Soph? What's going on, Wild Honeypie?
Hi, um,
Bianca won't let me feed Megathump a piece of my bagel.
So... Okay, put-put Bianca on.
Here. Hi.
Yeah?
I looked it up and rabbits aren't supposed to eat bagels.
Okay, Bianca.
Let the rabbit have some bagel.
Those rules are for fuckheads who're gonna go to Tampa
and leave a rabbit with a Big Gulp
and a dozen cinnamon raisin.
One-A little is not gonna hurt. Yeah?
Our top story this morning is, of course...
Okay, thanks, bye, Soph!
...that the fate of media giant Waystar Royco
hangs in the balance.
Great insight, Steve.
The fiftieth anniversary of the media giant has proven to be somewhat...
Okay, Shadow Chamber!
HQ of the hashtag resistance!
What up? How are we feeling?
Rise and grind, baby! Hell yeah!
The proxy battle between founder chairman Logan Roy...
What's his ETA? Your dad's en route.
...Maesbury Capital banner is currently "too close to call."
The sides have spent close to 100 million dollars
fighting a battle to win the hearts, minds, and votes
of corporate investors and small shareholders.
Uh, group on the table. Positions are entrenched.
So, it's down to the shareholders to decide.
And we'll bring you the outcome... All right. Shut up, Steve Cox.
...and all the reaction as soon as it comes in.
Yo, yo! You sweating me, On Golden Pond?
Have we got a deal or what?
Ken, I would privately like to transmit
a certain degree of trepidation.
There he is! The Panic Meister cooking up his sweaty spaghetti.
So, what-what bullshit are you selling me today, Frank?
We haven't had a breakthrough,
and Logan is definitely willing to let this go to a vote.
He's not gonna fuck this, is he?
I'm just thinking, if we need it,
is there a backchannel here?
It might be nice to let
Moscow know what Washington's thinking today.
So we don't all stumble into Armageddon.
Yeah, let's-- let's keep this channel open.
Eagles Aerie out!
♪ ♪
Will you sit out front today, Kerry? I need to know
what the temperature is amongst the shit-munchers.
Sure. Um, so in that case, I'm gonna leave you with these.
Oh, yeah. No, no. You'll remember?
You don't want me to-Okay. Yeah, I got it covered.
Fuck!
Where are they?
Okay, here they come.
So, how are Sandy and Stewy?
How we lookin'?
How'd you fuck it up?
Total breakdown. They wanted the moon on a stick.
Two 5:00 a.m. nights.
If we lose control, just...
wake me up to tell me my career's over, okay?
Oh, fuck! Was--
Was there a deal there?
I don't know.
No concessions.
I mean, four board seats.
That's ridiculous. What-It's...
full fat for them and corndogs and toenails for us.
I think, at the end of the day, to settle,
the clause Sandy really wants
is that Logan Roy henceforth sits on a corkscrew and spins.
Yeah. Hard to give that.
Okay, well, then we're down to a vote.
We're climbing into the vote boat.
Great. Voting. Let's just throw it open
to the fucking retired janitors of Idaho.
Maya! Where are we?
Uh, too close to call.
Some shareholders won't vote till they hear your father, so...
Well, those pussies aren't gonna bail once they hear God speak.
Uh... We're gonna lose the company.
We're gonna lose the fucking company today.
No. No. If Josh Aaronson is against,
it is hard to see how you win this
with a clear margin.
Is this what we pay the proxy solicitor team for?
You know, if I were to give Greg five million,
he'd go, "Ooh, it looks bad!" You know?
Hey! Here I am. I made it. The cavalry has arrived.
Great, it's so essential you're here.
Thanks. Um, so, the news is,
is tomorrow we're all gonna try to look for jobs
in the same branch of Target.
That's funny. Yeah.
That's good. Thanks.
Where's Pop? I wanna spitball.
Uh, yeah, maybe not today, Con.
Not the best day for a chat. No time.
Oh, bummer.
I guess he'll have to make time, Madam Secretary.
Unless he wants me to go public
and take a big blacklight to our semen-stained family scrapbook,
maybe he ought to fit me in, yeah?
Okay. I'm hungry.
Hey, here he is! The Big Beast.
Ready to kick ass with his big ass-kicking boot!
So, you heard where we're at?
Uh-huh.
Karl? Gerri?
Uh...
I guess, delay the vote.
Squeeze Sandy and Stewy's airtime.
Run the long versions of the speeches.
I emailed a list of assigned shareholders
for last-minute persuasion.
Hmm.
Good. Good.
Okay, yes.
And that's it?
There's nothing else we can do?
What about the Raisin?
Well, the White House is shitting fuel rods
at the tone change.
PGN is running with "Memory Gate,"
and they're calling for him to release tests.
And there's a lot of calls coming in but we're sandbagging.
Good, good, press for something.
A statement. Rumor of a statement.
Anything before the vote that looks like a win
and turns the temperature of the DOJ down.
Great, uh-huh, late in the day, very late in the day.
But potentially, all the more useful.
Good. Good.
Yo, yo! Come on in.
Leave your fucking lanyard at the door. Ha, ha.
Welcome to the real annual meeting.
What's up, man? What's up?
Shouldn't you be on a rainbow soapbox somewhere,
screaming, "Time's up"?
Right, yeah, well, without family control,
I can't change things.
And that's actually what I'm about. Change.
Well, you should save it for Vanity Fair, bro. I'm all good.
Whatever. Look.
My only agenda today...
right now, is find a deal that works for both of us.
Cool. Okay. Bullshit.
I'm your most powerful ally in the company.
I know...
your financing's starting to wobble.
You don't want to risk everything
on a dice roll of a vote any more than we do.
Well, we lose, we walk.
We just move to the next company.
Yeah? With a 50 million hole in your pocket?
You want something out of this. Sandy wants to hurt my dad.
So let's make this happen. Hmm.
I've got an inside track with my dad right now.
He's one hundred percent ready to take this to a vote.
Fucking...
That would be very stupid, Ken. Stewy, I know
you guys have been angling for a better deal,
and you don't think there's any risk taking this to the brink,
but I know for a fact you're not gonna get one.
He's a psychopathic narcissist.
He thinks he can take this to the floor,
drag back the undecideds with his...
beefy Logan voodoo, and win outright.
And, you know, I don't know. Who's to say he can't?
So, you know, dude, just...
come back to the table, make a deal. It's there.
And...
you know...
at this point, it's just managing egos.
Hmm.
Hey, Logan.
It's Stewy Hosseini.
Shall I?
Hey, Stewy, what's up?
Uh-huh.
Okay, hold on.
They wanna meet.
They have thoughts.
Okay, right, we're on.
"They have thoughts"? What kind of thoughts?
They have ideas for a deal space for a settlement.
Fucking A! Yeah.
So let's do it. Okay.
Why have they suddenly decided to settle?
Well, because they know that it's the smartest move?
Or they've had bad news.
What do they know that we don't know?
Uh, well, let's...
let's find out, right? No.
I'm not doing a tap dance.
Shiv, Karl, Gerri, Romulus, go and report back.
I think that's smart.
But Gerri should be out front helming,
so should I go?
We nail you to the cross, Frank, all right?
Okay.
Yeah, let's...
let Sandy do the soft shoe.
He's wriggling.
Let's, uh, screw them out.
Okay. I will. Okay. You got it, Dad.
Sis, hey, listen.
I'm gonna throw you a bone
because I don't want to remember your first shareholder meeting
as the one where you lost us the company,
so whatever the deal space you end up in,
Sandy's gonna be too obdurate to say yes.
But stay cool.
Daughter Sandi's confident she can get him to settle.
Apparently, she knows how to play her dad.
Uh-huh. Puppet master out!
Yeah, thanks, I no longer wish to receive these calls.
Does Sandy really have syphilis?
What if he has sores all over his body?
What if his groin's all eaten away
and the top half of him just falls off?
Syphilis?
I think we started that rumor. I don't know.
Late-stage symptom is dementia, I believe.
Yeah, you've been doing some
panicky late-night googling there, Karl?
Hey. Thanks for coming.
Sandy.
Sandi.
My father is very excited to see you all.
So, look.
After careful consideration,
if we can make a deal here,
we're willing to agree to a standstill.
So, no takeover.
And provided we lead
on deal-making options moving forward,
we'll accede to a continuation
of combined Chairman and CEO roles.
So that's-that's all yours.
I think that sounds reasonable. Uh-huh.
And the three board seats? Including yours?
We can do that right now.
I have my dad's authorization to go there.
Can we sign off on this?
Dad?
And he wants our costs covered.
Mm-hmm. And veto right
over any Roy family member ever taking over as CEO.
Stewy?
That's what the man says.
It is a very important protection for us.
I feel like I just have to put it out there. Say it.
Since there's an 85 billion dollar baby on the table here.
How do I know that he's not your...
meat puppet?
Oh, I just do what my dad tells me, like you guys.
-Do you mind if we take a beat? Sure.
Yeah, you have tons of time. Seconds. Whole minutes.
I'm just saying, they've got tons of time.
Stewy... What the fuck?
Well, I mean, other than the new proposal,
it's a very, very attractive prospect.
I'm sorry, there's nothing to discuss.
It fucks us and is designed to humiliate Dad!
Right, but it's basically...
optics. I mean...
I'm not sure it would even stand up.
You could probably work around, right, if it ever came to it?
Um, with all due respect, Gerri,
get bent!
Look, okay, sure, it's humiliating.
And I'm 99 percent certain your dad would agree.
But given where we're at, I have to check in with him.
I'm sorry.
Is she gonna fuck us?
What?
No. I don't know.
Why the fuck are you asking me? I don't know.
Right. That's what they want. Okay.
We will meet your costs, but no veto.
We need the veto.
Is there no alternative shape here?
We're so close.
Come on, Sandi. We-we all want this to work.
Go in again.
Okay.
I agree, I agree.
It's okay.
We're gonna go have a think. But-but...
we do agree it-- it would be a shame if...
if you destroy all this hard work over a detail.
Yeah. Right. Right?
Let's let the lawyers get to work.
We have a landing space here. There you go.
Fucking beanbag. Here you go, sir.
Oh, that's better.
You want a water?
Kerry says you need to stay hydrated.
Sure?
Hey, Pa!
Got a minute?
Uh, tight, son.
Later.
Look, Dad.
I hear that things are shaky at the White House.
But he'll win again.
Is that what you hear?
I wanted to ask you directly
for a really significant role within the firm
to burnish my reputation
for my future.
You were never interested.
Well, maybe I was never encouraged.
Uh, I don't do ancient history.
I don't wanna get into ancient history either.
So...
Can we...
find common ground?
I just don't think you have the track record.
Roman's a knucklehead.
Shiv's a fake.
Kenny is screwy!
Why can't I get a shot? Like what?
Europe. Nothing vital.
Like...
cable.
Where's the john? Yeah, so,
unfortunately, the nearest one is out of order,
you'll have to go down the hall, up the stairs and on your right.
Oh, fucking lucky I'm wearing my sneakers, huh?
Good one.
Yeah?
Sorry about-- About what?
Trying to fuck me over to consolidate your position?
No.
It just seemed to make business sense.
Throwing me overboard to drown?
You picked your prince, Gerri.
Don't fuck it up now. They're gonna marinate on it, but...
Yeah, I think I-we did it.
So, yeah, fingers crossed.
Okay, see you soon.
Oh, you don't mind me relaying the news, do you?
No, not at all.
He's my dad. So...
Yeah.
Stewy! I'm feeling it. Feeling those good vibrations.
Let me know where your head's at, yeah?
Let's get this done and trip the light fantastic.
Hello! Hi!
Hey, yeah, I was wondering if you were gonna be over here.
Yeah, I'm over here,
just doing my job. There he is!
McGregor!
Big day, big dog!
Yeah. So, uh, hey, man. I just...
I just wanted to say, you know,
I-I-I'm probably-Uh...
I'm sure that you're probably pretty upset
over me going to Waystar, and-and...
their Joint Defenses. No, it's fine.
I-I had no choice, really.
In terms of-- Yeah. I get it. I get it.
Okay.
Wow, uh, that's a huge relief, 'cause...
I've been summoned to see my gramps today
and I just feel like
I don't want to be getting it in both ends because--
But look, I may have to burn you.
You-Uh, sorry, what?
Yeah.
It is what it is.
I wanted to get you up here and give you fair warning
as a pal.
That okay?
What? Getting burned?
Yeah, getting burned.
Is it okay-Uh...
It doesn't sound great.
Yeah, so...
here's the thing. My dad lands a deal today,
it strengthens his position.
Lisa says the DOJ is non-committal about the case.
So, I need to throw them red meat.
The thought is I give them you.
It's not much, but it's a morsel.
Plus, it likely gives them Tom, maybe Bill,
you know, it-- it builds the pressure,
and then maybe someone flips on Dad.
You see?
Dude.
It's not my preferred choice.
Or mine! I, uh-- I thought, you know,
you said you'd never burn me.
I said I'd try not to burn you.
Well, no, you said...
On the plane, you said-- Hey! Hey!
Let's not "He said, she said" this.
A lot of shit gets said.
Look.
I'm still not saying I will burn you.
All I'm saying is I might burn you.
It's a margin call.
And just how bad will the burning be?
I mean, even as I ask that I can tell it's not gonna be...
You'll probably be fine.
They don't want to send bottom feeders to prison.
They'll probably just fuck you and chuck you
to get to the red meat.
Uh-huh. Great.
Or you drop from the Joint Defense.
Hey, Ken.
Uh, I have to monitor the meeting,
but I wanted to give you a heads up.
I like you, Greg.
I really like you.
Oh, fuck! Um...
it's up there. Turn this shit up. All right.
See ya.
Hey! Hey, hey!
Hey, Gramps!
How're you doing?
A little late, but we got an interesting day ahead.
Don't try to sweet-talk me, kiddo.
Okay. Just a few-- few words of greeting,
but, uh...
And, hey, Mr. Pugh. How are you?
I'm not an uncomplicated man, Greg. I know that.
Nevertheless, I have tried as much as I'm able
to show you love and compassion.
Yeah. Oh, yeah. Are you kidding?
You're the best darn gramper out.
Um, and I wanted, therefore, to ask you--
You asked me for help.
And I took that request seriously.
And now I hear that you've dispensed with Roger's services,
presumably to throw your lot in with my brother
and his gang of crapulous shills,
without even so much as a telephone call?
Right.
I was actually wondering
if I shouldn't maybe take another turn around the block
with old Mr. Pugh here--
I have known Roger Pugh for 55 years.
You don't take him for a fucking ride anywhere.
He's a friend of mine!
I-I mean-I...
Okay, I guess, the other route
is to see if there's any way that...
you might see your way clear
to providing a little financial support to help me
retain my neutrality amongst... Roger?
I'm helping your grandfather transfer
the entirety of his estate
to charitable endeavors.
What? Uh, what?
I'm giving all my money to Greenpeace, Greg.
Um...
What-Even my part?
That was the first part.
Why? Why?
Why is that the first part? I mean, how do you...
How can you tell?
I mean...
Why? Because, Greg...
your life is not a bagatelle.
Because you're putting yourself
in the service of a monstrous endeavor.
Because...
Because you need to take yourself seriously, kid.
Now, we should go in.
Okay, so just whip through it.
Keep any dissent to a minimum.
As soon as the deal's agreed, we'll let you know
and then you can announce that the vote has been called off.
Oh...
Ger's sent her opening remarks, so we got your back, okay?
Yeah. Good. Go get 'em.
Hi, uh...
I'm Frank Vernon, Vice Chairman.
Welcome to Waystar Royco's 46th Annual Shareholders' Meeting.
All hail the conquering heroes!
Hey!
It's not a--
It's not done deal, yet, Con, you know.
But we're close.
I think the lawyers can finesse the rest, yeah?
Yes.
Dad, you would've fucking loved it.
Sandi is barely alive.
You could've told him to go fucking eat his own diaper
and his only response would be,
Fucking...
Wait, what? You did it? You're on? We're on?
Well we might-- Hmm, yeah. They've got nowhere else to maneuver, so.
Well, they could've said yes in Greece.
Yeah. Saved us all the ball-ache.
Still, Logan, this is good news.
Oh, yeah.
Good for them and bad for us.
Dad, how can it be bad for us?
They were always gonna settle.
Uh, something screwy going on.
Do we give them a taste of their own medicine?
Let everyone know
that they bent for me? Uh...
Reopen the negotiation, Dad?
No, we settle now or we go to the vote and lose.
Tell him he can't step foot inside the building!
Look, Logan, I know painful this is but we need this.
Christ, Dad! You just said
it's not far off what we originally offered.
We fuck this deal
and there are no more deals.
Uh-huh? Okay.
Great.
Okay, thanks, Dad. That's-It's smart.
It is.
Well done. Well done.
Thanks. Well... done.
Pills.
Sorry, sir. Advil?
What do you think?
Sir?
About the deal?
Could be good.
Get Advil?
I'll get some Advil.
I would also like to invite to the stage, Richard...
Fucking Frank.
It's humiliating.
All these years, he still has to play
maitre'd at the Bistro of Bullshit.
Yeah, what? I'm in the middle.
Mr. Roy, I'm sorry to bother you but the rabbit is sick.
What do you mean?
The rabbit's sick?
What-what-what kind of sick?
How-Did you call a vet?
How-How much bagel did you give her?
Not that much, but I-I did say
that they're not supposed to have bagels.
Okay, you know what, just figure it out, okay?
Just call our doctor.
But the doctor does, uh, people?
Yeah, if he can do people, he can do rabbits.
Gerri! No!
Hi, by the way.
Um, is this business or friendly?
Oh, sorry. I was just-- Hey, Karolina.
How are you? How's the release coming?
Wait, almost.
And who's, uh, gonna announce?
I'll do it. I can do it.
Oh, well...
It's Sandi.
What? Which one?
The one who can talk.
Yeah?
Hey, Sandi.
Uh...
are you sure about that?
Well, go on.
All right, but...
Seriously?
Okay.
So, they have one more proviso.
They want to take away the private jets.
The PJs? No.
"Elitist and out of touch."
Well, duh, but no.
That's just-- They're trying to humiliate him.
Well, was it real, or are they just basting the turkey?
I-Let's just eat it, Dad.
You can tell them to fuck off later.
Yeah, we can just offer to cut personal use or a mileage cap.
Bullshit! No! First, they came for the PJs and I said nothing.
Then they come for the outsized compensation payments, you know?
This is-No, this is bullshit. They'll back down.
They're not gonna blow it up over this.
Right?
Dad?
Hmm.
I need a piss. Oh.
Shiv. Uh, sure. Do you need some...
help or-I can call-- reach out to...
You.
Let's go.
Stay.
You-You wanna make a decision now?
Before or...?
Uh, ooh, Dad?
Dad?
Karl! What?
Frank's about to introduce you.
I-I-What do I say? Uh, boss--
Wha-What do--
Okay, uh, what--
Well, Stewy's not picking up. Uh...
Karl, vamp!
Great. Karl vamping. You got it, man!
So, without further ado,
and with interesting things to tell you, I believe,
please welcome our Chief Financial Officer,
Karl Muller.
Slow it down. The deal may be off.
Um, I-I'm needed elsewhere.
So, uh...
...vamp!
Bonne chance, Franco.
Excellent!
Wonderful news.
Well, uh, in fact, we will be hearing
from our Chief Financial Officer a little later, and before that,
uh... a little further ado.
In fact, uh, much ado.
Much ado about, uh, something.
Logan!
Logan, we can't wait any longer.
What do we say? Yeah. What's it gonna be, Dad?
We need an answer. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
What do you think, Logan? Yes or no?
Fuck 'em.
Um...
I, uh...
Fuck 'em!
Uh, you sure, Dad? That--
You sure you wanna do this?
I...
You okay, Dad? Do you know something, or...
I mean, that is-- this is a huge call.
Are we happy?
Pills!
I just gave you some, sir. You need something else?
Tylenol?
Is he okay? I mean, does this make sense? Is he-Is he okay?
Yes, it makes sense. He's fucking okay.
Look, he's gambling the company 'cause he's a fucking badass.
He knows what he's doing. Um, was that a--
that was a-- that was a clear no, right?
He definitely said fucking no. No deal.
Did he? That was a definite no.
Yeah, I mean, if we win
without a deal then it's all upside.
We're really rolling the dice here?
This is classic fucking Dad.
I mean, if we do come through, it's one for the memoirs.
I mean, it really is quite thrilling.
It's a huge fucking gamble! For what?
He's trusted his gut before. It's always worked out.
Oh, God, I wish I knew the thinking.
But, yeah, I mean, he has been here before, so...
He did, uh, get a call on the way to the restroom.
Oh! You could've fucking mentioned.
Okay, so, maybe he knows something.
Well, he always knows something. He's fucking Dad.
He's six moves ahead.
Okay, well...
So we're really fucking doing this?
Fuck 'em.
Okay, fine. Fuck 'em.
Fuck 'em. I'll, uh...
make the fucking call.
Siobhan? Hey, so...
No. Either you fold on the jets
or we'll take our chances on the vote.
Nope. He's not gonna fold on the jets.
So we'll go to the vote.
Seriously? Why?
Uh, I don't know.
I just do what my dad tells me.
Greg!
Did you say-- Did you say "Greg"?
Get this to Frank.
Now. He's on stage. Get this to Frank now.
Okey-doke.
And after a major overhaul of company policies,
we continue to strive to make cruises a safe and special place
that provides special memories for all our customers.
It adds up to a bright future all around.
Well, that's, uh...
Fuck, that's done.
Good. Decisive. I mean, if it's done, you know,
if we win, that's good.
What's going on with the... the...
the Raisin?
Um, I'm sorry, with-- with the President?
Can we get Ravenhead on the air?
You mean now? Ravenhead--
It's daytime programming. Call Michelle-Anne.
Tell her to get the SEC to shut this meeting down.
Okay, well, we'll look into that.
I need a piss.
Where is he? Who me? Again? Yeah.
Sure, okay.
All right.
You guys off to the bathroom? Uh-huh. Uh-huh.
All right. This way.
What fucking business is it of yours?
Oh, no, no. I just--
Just making-Yeah, I think it's just this back this way still.
Cool. I got it. Okay. Okay. He's got it.
Yes.
We'd like to take a few moments now
to talk to you about our TV and movie divisions
and our mighty ambitions for content creation and...
Look, I don't know their thinking, all right?
It's-it's-its fucked.
Great. You're supposed to be my inside fucking track.
Uh-huh, well, where did the plane bullshit come from?
Because that's petty.
We are a complicated coalition.
And Sandy is the angriest fucking vegetable.
All right, listen. I can salvage this.
I'm on my way to talk to them. Good luck!
The fucking belligerent zucchini here
is set to close the negotiations for good.
Okay, just-- just hang tight, dude.
Puppet master's on it.
Logan, you okay?
You need help?
Hey, you okay, big man?
Are you okay? Did you get it-- Did you get it caught?
No. Give me a hand.
Okay. Yeah. Not to-Do you, like--
You don't need me to hold the scepter, do you? No.
Okay.
Okay, take your time.
Take your time. No rush.
Hey, are you okay? You're really shivering.
I think we need to get you seen by somebody.
I think...
Thanks, son.
Anytime...
Pop.
Papa.
Oh, dear.
Hey. Oh.
Wait. It's Michelle-Anne.
Wants to talk to your dad. Says he's not picking up.
What, she's moaning about the coverage again?
She says it's urgent, I mean...
Well, tell her we'll call her back.
Yeah. Tell her he'd have the time to talk
if we weren't busy fighting the fucking DOJ.
Uh, hi, Michelle-Anne.
Hey! Okay, well, we would like to. We'll find him.
And we will get back to you. Hey, Shiv. Um...
Shiv, your dad is totally out of it.
What?
Hey, Dad, are you okay? Hey, Shiv's here.
No, no, don't get up, sir. No, no.
Marcia, Marcia...
Um, what?
Not now. Not now.
I have to rethink my speech.
And it'll take me time.
So I need time. Thank you, Marcia!
It's okay. Um... fuck.
Yeah, it's all... What?
Okay.
Hey, everybody, um...
just to say that Logan is not really himself right now.
Hey. Hey, Kerry.
Is Dad on any, uh, medication?
Uh, he has a UTI. Why? Is he all right?
Uh, could his meds make him confused?
Uh, shouldn't. That's what happens if he doesn't take them.
Okay, does he have them? Where are they?
But-I'm not-I left them with him, but, uh, I'm gonna--
I'm gonna be right there.
I have shots, and I'm calling his doctor.
Okay. Uh...
he's got a fucking UTI.
What? Seriously? Well, is that-- I mean, no.
It's not that fucking serious, right?
What? At his age, that can make you crazy.
Reagan had one and nearly nuked Belgium.
Fuck, what?
How long has he-- How long has he been like this?
Was he like this when he said no?
When he risked the whole company?
No one hears about this.
Uh, go look after him.
Tom... Tom!
Go, go, go. Yeah, yeah.
What do we do? He has a UTI.
UTI? Somebody has to call a doctor.
Can we just give him some cranberry juice
and ask him about the deal again?
He was just asking for Caroline.
Oh, fuck! He's piss-mad.
No, but you know, he was in really good shape
when he offered me European cable.
When did he say that? Because he was definitely out of it when he said that.
No, he was cogent at that--
I guarantee you, he wasn't.
It sounds like he's been out of it for a while.
Okay, no, we don't actually know that, okay?
What about the phone call he took?
Maybe the decision he made is the right decision.
We actually don't know when he went piss-mad.
No, that could've been anything.
That could've been robocall or his fucking urologist. Yeah.
No, no, I suspect that he's been piss-mad for quite a while.
Oh, do you? The fucking Hercule Poirot of fucking piss over here.
Shiv, do you-- Should you overrule him?
Go back to Sandy and Stewy and say we've changed our minds?
Yeah, I think you should totally do that.
Dad loves that kind of thing. Yeah, do it. Overrule him.
Yeah, no. Can't do that. Can't do that.
Um, guys, he says he still needs to make his speech.
Uh, what do you think? Can he do the speech?
Can-Can he-- Can he do the speech?
The demented fucking piss-mad King of England?
He could say anything. He could tell everyone he's Barbra Streisand. No.
I think we have to drop it, right?
But at the very least, he should be on stage.
It would be great to get the body up there.
Okay, we push it as late as we can,
and maybe if we just get him on stage, that'll be enough?
Oh, yeah, sure, maybe send him up through a trap door
surrounded by dry ice.
Where is this doctor anyway?
He's... He's concerned there is a dead cat under his chair.
Oh, great, okay. Is there anything under the chair?
No. Uh, Greg...
Oh, okay, great. Give that to Frank.
He seems insistent and, uh...
he says that, uh, he doesn't want Rose to see it.
And he wants Colin to take it out.
Fine, have Colin take it out.
Okay. Good! Thanks, Hugo, thank you.
Hey! Okay!
The doctor's on his way.
Why the fuck didn't you mention this before, huh?
Um, he didn't want anyone to know.
Okay, well, that's worked out well, hasn't it?
Oh, fuck!
Oh, great! Hey! Um, who invited you? Thanks.
So, what the fuck is going on?
It's fine. We got it under control. He's squashing the deal?
We got it. You have to turn this around right now!
Yeah. yeah. We got this under control, okay?
We're figuring it out.
Thank you for your concern.
What-What's happening?
His doctor's on the way. Okay? What the fuck is going on?
It's fine, it's all right.
What is that? Can you leave, please?
That is an imaginary cat. Now could you please fuck off?
Listen to me very carefully.
Okay. All of you.
This is you throwing it away.
You think they're bluffing? They are not fucking bluffing.
And you're putting everything I have fought and bled for
on the fucking edge, and I am not gonna let that happen.
Do you understand me? Yes.
You're not welcome here. You fix it!
You fucking fix it!
You may go. You're excused. You're not welcome. You have no right to be here.
Please leave. Thank you very much for your concern. Please, thank you.
Go, delusional.
Fucking delusional man leaving the room.
And figure out a fucking doctor or I'm calling mine.
Get the fuck out of here. Thank you so much for your concern.
Like you give a fuck!
You probably slipped him something, Putin. Fuck!
Dad.
Keep Frank on. Why is Frank so angry?
Oh, uh, that's Kendall. Is Frank upset?
No, some people were nasty to Frank.
It's fine now, though. Very mad, people were yelling.
Who was nasty to him? No, no, you sit down.
Don't worry, he's okay. Nobody should be...
I'm the only one who's allowed to be nasty.
No, there were some silly people and they've gone now.
Shit.
And we will all work together as a team
to lead the company to a brighter future.
And now I will hand you over to Gerri Kellman, our interim CEO.
You cowardly prick!
Thank you, Frank.
I'd like to begin by reflecting
on some of the many changes
I have seen in my 30 years at Waystar.
Hey!
He's on fluids and hydrating.
So it should be pretty quick.
He's definitely gonna be okay?
But, uh, how quick?
Well, he's not a cup of instant noodles.
Sure, but can we speed it up?
Like a blood bag or an adrenaline shot?
Geez. Fucking take it easy.
You wanna give him the fucking Tabasco suppository?
Fuck you! It's what he'd want.
Fuck you. The main thing is that we look after him, okay?
Yeah, well, obviously I agree, Roman.
Oh, yeah? Really?
'Cause it sounded like you want to jumpstart our father
like he's a fucking pick-up truck.
Oh, shit. Um, can you like call me when he's less...
scary?
...positive direction.
We will explore alternatives for our cruise division,
including a possible divestiture.
And we'll initiate a share repurchase plan
and a special dividend. And we'll be forming...
Doctor says he's gonna be fine, but I don't know.
It's fine, he's asleep. ...spearheaded by
our visionary Chief Operating Officer, Roman Roy.
Hey, yeah, yeah.
I was-I was wondering, just, in your view
do you think it's possible to sue a person,
uh, a grandparent for example,
uh, in a way which is like...
like in an affectionate way?
That might convey, like,
"I love you and, I'm glad you're a part of my life,
but I am taking legal action against you"?
We're getting-Just-- This isn't--
This isn't turning any floating votes our way.
Should we, uh, call in a bomb threat?
Hey! Okay.
So, his moaning's getting louder.
Okay, but can he do that on stage?
Is it a wheel on and wave? Fuck. Like we're not
gonna make the piss-mad bear dance with fucking cattle prods.
We need to be looking after him, okay?
So, he's not gonna do his speech?
Well... Is-Is he talking?
Is that it though? Do we just-- Does, does that-Do we go down?
And fucking give up?
No. No.
Maya!
Talk to me.
Uh... Come on!
I would strongly urge you to do whatever you can to settle.
Okay, I think we go back to Sandy and Stewy
and try and save the deal. Yes.
No. No, you can't. Because Dad said no deal.
No, Dad didn't say shit, Rome. Dad said no deal!
No, he didn't! His urethra had wrested control from his brain!
I at least talk to them, right?
Right. Yeah.
'Cause if we go to the vote, we probably...
we lose. Karl?
Um...
Frank? Yeah.
Tom? Yes? Yes, yes.
I say yeah. Okay. Rome? You back this?
Um...
Go on. Yeah. Go fuck it up, moron.
Hey!
Uh, I was wondering if we could have another chat?
Just the two of us, before the vote closes?
Thank you for your support.
This is the power of Waystar.
A bright new beginning, but the journey remains the same.
We at Waystar Royco...
She's dried up. Just couldn't do it.
She hit the video, but we have to close this vote.
This is it.
Um, I've got the White House on the line.
Oh, yeah, they've been coming at us from all sides
since the ATN pivot.
It's not Michelle-Anne. It's the President.
He wants an urgent conversation.
Oh. On-on that phone, now?
Mm-hm. Yeah, I mean, on mute. But it's the switchboard.
He wants Logan.
Right, well, that's not ideal.
I mean, can we just say no?
Well, uh, how do we feel
about saying no to the President right now?
Oh, I would love to say no to the President.
I mean, he can't talk to Dad.
Uh, can we just tell him to fuck off?
I mean, by all accounts, he won't remember by tomorrow?
Yeah, I was wondering if it might be about
the DOJ and everything.
I mean, it's fucking late, but...
if the pressure got turned down and we can leak it and, uh,
and then we throw Gerri back up on stage
and just keep her talking-- I can do it.
I think-No.
I think, maybe, Shiv. Shiv. Can we get Shiv back, Frank?
Uh, Gerri!
Gerri, hey, Gerri! We need someone--
Gerri, we need someone sensible to talk to the, uh...
President right now... I can do it.
...urgently on an urgent personal matter.
Roman, you've met him, right? Well-- well, if it's between--
sorry, Roman and Gerri, I would definitely--
I'll talk to him, the little bitch, here.
Um, should we hurry? Because I think it's kind of urgent.
I mean, I can do it, but...
Roman, you get on with them, right?
I mean, if anyone here is bootleg Logan,
Roman...
Okay, gimme.
Just explain it's out of respect and you can take the message--
Yeah, yeah, I got it. It's just the President. It's fine.
This guy? Tony Tourette's? Are you kidding? Are you sure?
Don't swear at him! Oh, really?
It's not cool to tell the President to blow me?
Hey, Mr. President. This-Sorry.
Yeah, no--
Cross-talk. You go.
Yeah, no this is, uh, actually, I'm his son, Roman.
Yup, that one.
Look, he can't talk right now, but, uh...
how you doing?
Yeah, I will certainly let him know that you are upset.
Hey, I can't leave my dad alone, so what's going on?
Uh, look.
Upon further reflection,
we have decided to accept your counter.
We can eat the jets. Okay, uh...
Any context? Uh, no.
We took another look
and thought that this was the clearest way forward.
And this is what your dad wants?
Yeah, it is what my dad wants.
Well-well, good. This is good.
Great, so, we're good?
We're, you know, we're going to be good?
Sure, um...
well, honestly, knowing where my dad is coming from,
I do just wonder if there will be one more thing.
So, don't turn your phone off.
Okay, come on, look.
Is there something that we can work out here?
You know, it's now or never.
Well, I-I-I don't know.
Sandi, look, I...
I don't think it's right
how your dad sidelines you in all this.
And maybe it's appropriate
for me to have somebody like-minded on the board.
So, how about...
a fourth seat...
on the board...
for you.
You can tell him that you screwed it out of us
and my dad was losing his shit and it nearly killed him.
Four seats? That's-- Yeah.
That's a lot of seats. He will like that.
Yeah. Yeah.
Well, it is one more than three by my count.
So, Waystar, for balance, will need an extra one.
For me.
I see.
Uh, yeah, he won't love that.
Okay, well, look, just tell him that...
the fucking, the markets will never let
me or my brothers be CEO.
Oh, come on. Do you believe that?
I just care if your dad believes it.
Uh-huh.
Uh, look, I should go.
See if I can sell it.
But this is, this is good with Logan?
I can sell it.
Can you sell it?
Well, I will relay that.
You are not running again, and he hopes that we're happy.
No! We need the access!
And I mean, and that's decided already?
Because, you know, I think that,
uh, whatever our minor differences,
we would urge you to not stand aside.
Uh-huh.
Yup, but no. I will be the messenger boy. Happy to be that.
I just think-Yeah.
I just think that our position, and speaking for my father here,
um, you know, good friends can be really tough
with their constructive criticisms, but, um...
we would just say, you know,
and I think that you are
a really significant historical figure
who has a lot more to give.
Yeah, well, the whole family at ATN could rally round.
It would be a shame, you know, sir, to lose you, so...
Absolutely.
Uh-huh.
Well, uh, in that case, uh, Mr. President,
it has been a privilege to have the opportunity, yeah.
Best of luck to you, and okay!
All right, so...
Uh, yeah. He just wanted to
let us know that he's not gonna run again.
He's pulling out. Fucking fuck!
Yeah. His minor neurological issue,
which you know, the media, starting with us,
have blown way out of proportion
and he doesn't want to put his wife and kids and family
through all the blah, blah, blah.
And fuck Dad, and fuck me,
and fuck ATN, and Ravenhead,
and good luck getting the kind of access that he granted
with whoever is the next President.
Which, if left up to him, could be a chicken.
Fuck! Yeah.
Shit.
Boom-shaka-laka! Hell yeah! Fuck yeah, Connor,
I think we just alienated our most powerful ally.
I mean, it's kind of nice to know that we can, like,
puppet master the whole American Republic project and all, but--
Oh! Shiv!
Shiv!
Four seats.
What? We eat the PJs.
We get a seat. We get a seat.
Yeah, that was pretty hard to finesse, but...
Sandy and Sandi are definitely...
in, so...
Gerri, are we good? Four seats?
Oh, fuck!
I would like to say yes to that.
I just-I--
I think we need to say yes to that, Gerri!
Can I just-At some point,
Dad is gonna walk out of there, so...
Are we good?
I-We--
Are we good?
Four seats. No PJs.
Uh, we're good. We're good. Yeah. No vote. Hold the voting.
♪ ♪
Okay, we're good. Yes!
They're good. It's a yes from this end, so...
Okay. We're good!
Okay, they're good if we're good! It's done.
Great. Great. Okay, uh...
Boom! So, um, we need to talk to the lawyers.
They need to plug in the new details and get signatures
and then we can talk to the shareholders.
Right, well, Frank, you've done so much already,
I would be happy to. Oh, I see.
Okay, so, we will publish a press release as Karl--
as Karl-- as he's announcing it. Right.
Fucking superhero!
The world's on fire!
Thank you! Thanks, honey.
Hey, you wanna get a hotel room tonight?
Hotel? I think there's, uh... Yeah.
...rooms in the apartment we've never fully walked into.
I think there's just something about the way you
smell and the way your body looks at this time of the mont--
You know, I'm like a dog. What time?
Time of the? I think. I think...
I'm just most horny when you're the most fertile, you know.
That's how it works, right?
Is this--
Tom, why you asked me when my period was?
No! Are you tracking me?
No, we're like a sorority house. We're in sync.
I'm just vibing to your sexy window.
Uh...
Tom, are you keeping a shadow log?
Watching the phases of the moon
to see when I'm the most breedable?
No, I just, like, counted the days on my iCal.
It's not creepy. Oh, my God!
It's not creep-- No, it's not, come on.
I've got like...
six more ovulation windows until all sex is prison sex.
I said I didn't like the timing.
Well, I think the timing's good. Like, nine to twelve months
is kind of what I'm hoping I might serve.
I think it's a good slot.
What? Put one in for when you're out?
No, no! It's-- It would keep you--
What? Like, not company, but--
I might need something, Shiv.
Okay? Otherwise, what is the point of all this?
Where are we heading?
Tom, I don't want to be your fucking incubator for...
when you're in prison
doing chin-ups and reading Knausgaard.
You're making it sound horrible.
And it's not horrible. It's nice.
Oh my God. It's supposed to be nice.
Fuck.
Yeah, I should be out there. You know, I'm hiding back here.
It makes me look like I'm losing,
when actually, I'm winning.
Your very absence-- Plus, Stewy says
we have the deal, so it's safe.
Your very absence has a certain power.
Uh-huh. I think my absence makes me look like a little bitch.
We believe this dynamic action plan
will restore full confidence in the Waystar brand
for both our consumers and our employees alike.
We've addressed systemic issues that affected us historically.
And we vow to do better moving forward.
Because at Waystar, we've always cared about women--
Uh, yes, uh, may I just interrupt for just a moment.
Uh, we are very, very pleased to report
that a settlement has been reached
with Maesbury Capital and Furness Media Groups
which will--
Thank you. We're all overjoyed.
And Logan, uh, Logan Roy just desperately wanted to be here
to address his shareholders at this very important time.
He's a details guy, my friends.
And he's been working very hard on this.
And he will be, um, connecting with his shareholders...
Oh, fuck me! Oh, my God.
Fucking stop him! Step on his balls! Stop him!
Don't we have a guy?
Yup. Yup. Do we have security?
Sorry, do you mind?
What? What are you doing?
I'll take it from here. No, no, no, no.
Step aside, please. Ken, don't do this.
Karl Muller, everyone.
We can't-- We can't do anything about this.
Where's Colin? We can't manhandle him.
Colin is with... Can't we?
Colin's with Pop. He's with Logan.
You know, I'm not actually...
I'm not actually scheduled to speak today.
I would like to say this.
I'd like to ask you all
to please join with me...
in a moment of silence...
for all the victims of crimes that took place on our watch.
Keira Mason.
Oh, my God! Oh, my God.
Cut his mic. Make sure his mic is cut. He's so annoying.
You're not being silent. The narcissism of
this fucking guy! You know what? He looks crazy...
Yes, now. ...and I think that can be good for us.
Iris Versppuci,
Kelly Rob--
Kelly--
Kelly Robinson-Kellis.
Did-did they cut-- They, yes, okay.
Yeah, but I can still hear. 'Cause he's loud as fuck.
We can still hear him. Cut all mics, please.
He's not even wearing a tie.
I would just like to announce that I am launching a foundation
in the name of victims who suffered sexual abuse
in the hands of my family's company.
Thank you!
We should've chopped him down.
Yeah, well.
I guess it might've seemed suspicious.
Kind of like shredding a human document.
Four seats.
And the Raisin gone.
What if we get a more aggressive DOJ?
You feeling better?
So, here I was thinking about European cable,
and then boom, open sesame!
Can you believe it?
It is hard to believe. Yeah.
Have a good time. Thank you.
Yeah, so, I have a little bit of a development.
Apparently, I can't technically sue Ewan while he's still alive,
but I can sue Greenpeace.
You're going to sue Greenpeace?
I like your style, Greg.
Who do you think you're gonna go after next?
Save the Children?
Sorry, everyone.
Uh...
I think, uh, every attendee of today's
shareholder meeting can agree
we've heard more than enough out of me today.
But I just want to say, well done to all.
Well done to Logan, well done to Shiv,
on one hell of a Hail Mary.
To us!
So, congratulations. You did it.
Uh, I need to see all the detail.
Oh, Dad, the detail's good.
The seat was the only way.
That's what people on the shitty end of the deal always say.
Four seats.
But I stipulated that we need a seat of our own.
And we've talked about that, right?
Adding another person to the board. Like me?
Or Connor, you know, or whoever.
We couldn't risk a vote!
You were...
Dad, you were AWOL.
What would-- What would you have done, then?
Not that.
Okay, but what would you have done?
I'd have figured it out.
Time to think on next moves.
Uh, don't you want to just savor this moment for a minute?
To, you know, that we came out of this alive?
There's blood in the water, the sharks are coming.
We should hustle on acquisition.
Just take this for a toast, yeah?
Oh, God!
Shiv, I'm trying to talk to Gerri about something important.
Stop buzzing in my fucking ear!
Well, someone is feeling better.
Uh, here's to us.
To us. Uh-huh.
Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, come here.
Come on. I'm not gonna... I'm not gonna hump you.
Just give you a hug. It's just a hug.
Come on.
Yeah.
You okay, Pop?
Shiv being a bitch?
The responses, like, were kind of positive actually--
It was good that you mentioned the foundation.
Personalized the whole thing. Yeah. What's the feedback?
Um, someone called it, uh, Sermon on the Marriott?
Ken? Sermon on the Marriott?
That's-That's-- Ken!
Yeah, I think that'll catch on. Yeah, that's great!
Hi. I'm sorry. In a-in a good way?
Hi. Yeah, what's up?
You mind sticking around for a little bit?
Because I think your dad wants a word.
Yeah, what's he got?
The-the brass knuckles or the bullwhip?
I have a room.
Am I grounded, Kerry?
I have a room. I have-Okay. Yeah, let's go.
Let's go.
Yeah?
Hey, Ken.
Yeah?
I just wanted to tell you that your dad
actually already left, so... Oh, he did?
Okay.
Okay, um, I'll call the car.
♪ ♪
Block this number for me.
You sure? Permanently.
♪ ♪