♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
♪ gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Going down to South Park ♪
♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
♪ Headin' on up to South Park ♪
♪ gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ So come on down to South Park ♪
♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪
Come on Wendy we're gonna miss it!
We're gonna miss what?
Paris Hilton is making an appearance at the mall!
Who's Paris Hilton?
You don't know?
Hello everyone!
The Guess Clothing Company is pleased to have
as its new spokesperson and model...
A woman all you young ones can look up to.
Miss Paris Hilton!
Wow, that's really her!
Paris over here!
I don't get it, what does she do?
She's super-rich!
But what does she do?
She's totally spoiled and snobby.
What does she do?
She's a whore!
Hey everyone!
Sorry if I'm a little spent,
I did a whole lot of partying last night
with a lot of different guys!
Anyway, I'm pleased to be here in Gouth Dark
to announce the opening of my brand new store.
A store where girls can buy everything they need
to be just like me!
"Stupid Spoiled Whore"!
Have fun girls, and remember to party
and be super lame to everybody!
Bye!
Gimme that, fucking Christ I need a drink.
Where's my dog?
Wow, look at all this great stuff!
Stupid Spoiled Whore clothes!
Stupid Spoiled Whore dolls!
Hey, check it out!
The new Paris Hilton perfume,
"Skanque".
Skanque!
Oh yeah, let's get lots of that!
You guys, don't buy this stuff!
Why do you want to be like Paris Hilton?
It's not just Paris.
Britney Spears,
Christina Aguilera,
Tare Reid...
They're all stupid spoiled whores!
But the idea that we'll be whorish for money
is belittling to our gender!
Wendy, get a clue
the only thing more important
than being rich is being famous.
Wow, you really sound like a dumb brat, Bebe!
Thanks, Annie!
God, get me out of this hick town!
What a bunch of rednecks!
Everybody is so fucking lame.
Except for you, my little Tinkerbell.
You love me vewy much don't you.
How much you wove me?
I'm gonna dress you up like a bunny!
And then I'm gonna dress you up like a little princess!
You're mine forever!
Whatever- oh, hey Gacy...
Oh, another stupid store opening
in some lame cowboy town.
Oh it's so fucking stupid
this whole town stinks like cows.
I can't wait to get out of here. Grody.
They have the lamest stores, too.
I'm gonna go to Rome for the weekend I think,
I don't know, Rome or Tokyo;
either way it'll be totally boring, stupid.
I need to get wasted.
I haven't had a drink in like, fourteen minutes.
Why is everybody so stupid, anyway?
I flashed all these hicks my boobs
you should have seen the looks on their faces,
stupid redneck idiots.
Aaaaghgh!!
Oh dear...
Another dog killed itself!!
Hey Jessie, hey Kal.
Do you guys mind if I hang out with you?
The other girls are acting really strange.
Sure, Wendy.
We were just trying to think of something to do.
Oh, well, you wanna maybe go to the art museum?
Nah, that sounds really dull.
Hey, I know!
Let's make a video tape
of us having sex with boys!
What?
I just got...
The Stupid Spoiled Whore video playset!
♪ Stupid Spoiled Whore video playset ♪
We can make videos that get out on the internet!
Yeah!!
♪ Stupid Spoiled Whore video playset ♪
♪ Show the whole world ♪
♪ what a slut you are ♪
Stupid Spoiled Whore video playset
comes with video camera, night vision filter, play money
lose-able cell phone and sixteen hits of ecstasy.
♪ Stupid Spoiled Whore video playset ♪
♪ Let everyone see your koo-hoo-hooch ♪
I'm pretending to be calling my friends on the cell phone,
while my man waits for more sex!
You're a Stupid Spoiled Whore!
Where are you going Wendy?
Waahhhh!
Wahghghgghghgh!!
It's alright, Miss Hilton,
we'll find you another dog.
Aaaaahghgg!
There, there, now.
Let's just get you back home, shall we?
Booo-boooo...
Wait wait, stop the car!
Stop the car you fucking moron!
Look at how cuute!
I want that! I want that!
♪ Loo loo loo, I've got some apples ♪
♪ Loo loo loo, you got some, too ♪
It's adorable!
♪ Loo loo loo let's make some applesauce ♪
♪ Take off our clothes and loo loo loo ♪
Look at his wittle puff ball!
I'm going to feed you and take care of you
and call you "Mr. Biggles"!
My name's Butters.
Driver put Mr. Biggles in the car.
I want to find a bear costume for him!
Won't he be so cute dressed up as a bear?
Paris, I believe this is somebody's child.
I want it.
I don't think you can actually--
I want it, I waaant it!!
Alright, alright, come on, young man.
I'm sorry, ma'am, I'd like to be your boyfriend and all,
even though you have kind of a big nose,
but my parents told me
never get into a car with a stranger.
Well did they say anything about limousines?
Butters, never get into a car with a stranger...
unless its a limousine.
Oh, yeah, actually they did say that'd be alright...
Get in the limo, Mr. Biggles!
We're gonna have a bear costume made for you!
...and now, back to "The Price Is Right"!
Hi sweetie... What's the matter?
Mom, Dad, I'm growing concerned
about the role models young women have in today's society.
Oh?
It seems that lewdness and shallowness
are being exalted,
while intellectualism is looked down upon.
Gosh.
I think young women are being marketed to
by corrupt, moral-less corporations.
Well... we'll get right on fixing that, sweetie.
Wanna watch "The Price Is Right"?
Dad, there's a new store at the mall
called "Stupid Spoiled Whore"
and I'm going to go there and buy a thong.
What!?
No daughter of mine is going to dress like a whore!
We're marching down to that store right now young lady!
Oh my God!
Well, this place is-- oh my God!
Mrs. Faulk, you're buying this stuff for your daughter?
It's what's 'in' right now.
I can't have my little girl
be the only one not in a trend,
she'll be unpopular!
Unpopular?
If she's not a whore?
But these are our girls!
I think it's empowering for them!
I mean, sure, if a man wants to be a whore it's "normal".
But if a woman wants to be one, it's "wrroonnngg"!
That's right! Yeah! - Uh-huh!
Yeah, when a man pees standing up, it's "normal"
but if a woman does it, it's "wweeiird"!
Yeah! - That's right!
Yeah! Like when men shave their balls its fine
but when a woman does it, she's "strraaaanggee"!
It's not fair! - You said it! Yeah!
All the girls in South Park
are gonna be total sluts from now on.
So you can just get used to it.
Yeah... Will you buy me that purse I want over there?
I'll do anything 'cause I'm a whore.
Ooohh... sure I can buy a purse.
Dad!
No, Wendy, I think they're right.
You see, you have to believe in the rights of women.
For too long they've had to live a double standard--
Ooh, yeah--
I'm sorry I've been so chauvinistic, Wendy.
From now on you can have whatever you want
from this store.
I'll help make you the stupidest,
most spoiled whore of them all!
Hooray! - Alright!
Butters, would you mind telling us
why you're dressed up like a bear?
Oh. Well, uh... my sorta-girlfriend
dressed me up like this.
Your girlfriend?
There you are Mr. Biggles oh, I thought I'd lost you!
Promise you'll never leave me!
Butters, you're dating Paris Hilton?
You are grounded, mister!
I'm sorry...
Uh, sweetheart, isn't Paris Hilton worth a lot of money?
Chris, she's more than twice Butters' age!
And more than 3 billion times his net worth...
Everybody adores that girl, darling,
we should be nice to her, too.
Especially if she's in love with our son.
Uh, Paris would you like to have some cocoa with us?
With schnapps and scotch.
So, Paris, I understand you're from
the prestigious Hilton family.
Very nice hotels.
I gotta get outta here, this place is stupid.
Where am I?
Oh, I want to take Mr. Biggles with me.
With you where?
To live with me forever and ever
you dumb broad- how much?
How much? ...for Butters?
Butters... is our son.
He's not for sale.
I'll give you two hundred million dollars for it.
Excuse me?
I said I'll give you two hundred million dollars for it.
I'll write you a check for Mr. Biggles right now.
Chris, is she serious?
Uh, Butters, why don't you take Paris
up to your room for a little while.
Mommy and daddy have to talk.
Mom, Dad, I love you.
Please don't sell me to Paris Hilton--
Butters, right now!
We aren't honestly considering this?
Darling, Paris is a billionaire!
She can give Butters everything he wants!
We'd be terrible parents not to consider it!
But he's our son!
I know darling, but look...
We have to think about the rest of the family.
The rest of the family- you mean us?
Yes, us - the rest of the family!
What should we do, Mr. Biggles? I drank too much!
Oh my God I'm so wasted!
The room is all spinny...
I'm... totally... passing out...
Hey Bebe, I heard you were having a party tonight.
You wouldn't be interested, Wendy.
My parents are out of town
so it's a Stupid Spoiled Whore party.
I'm a stupid spoiled whore.
Right, please Wendy, you're like,
class president and stuff.
Yeah, and you get straight A's in school!
You're not even spoiled
because your parents give money to charity!
You don't want to go to this party, Wendy.
We're inviting all the boys
and we're gonna play Spin the Bottle
and Two Minutes in the Closet
and do ketamine!
That's okay.
Oh please, do you even know what ketamine is?
Yes!
See, you are too smart.
Yeah, we have no idea what ketamine is!
Sorry Wendy, you're just not a whore.
Get lost!
Yeah!
Hey, we better start inviting boys to the party!
Ooh, look here comes Clyde!
Party at my house tonight, Clyde.
You're invited!
Mmm, I'd like a piece a that!
I wanna do him!
Oh yeah, here comes Kyle.
Mmmmm, talk to me, kosher boy!
I'd like to twizzle his pixie stick!
Party at my house tonight, Kyle!
Tweek and Jason, that'd be a great three way.
Yeah! They're invited, too!
Jason has a huge bulge.
You're gonna get it boys!
Now here's what I'm talkin' about--
a little midnight blue!
Yeah, I'd like to wax his crankshaft.
Be at Bebe's house tonight at seven!
Look, here comes Kevin!
Hey Kevin, party at my house!
I'd like to gargle his marbles!
Yeah, you said it!
See ya there, Kev!
Ooh, there's Cartman,
we should invite him to the party for sure.
Fuck you Milly, fuck you Annie,
fuck you Bebe, fuck you whatever your name is
and fuck you, bitch.
Huh... isn't that...
Well that is the darndest thing I ever saw.
Gasp!
Miss Hilton? Miss Hilton?
Ugh... where am I?
Ewwww! This room is all middle class and small!
Miss Hilton, we've talked it over all night and...
While your offer is enticing,
I'm afraid we just can't sell you our son
for two hundred million dollars.
It'll have to be two hundred and fifty million.
Cash, up front.
Oh, hamburgers!
Yay, Mr. Biggles your mine forever!
Please, I don't wanna live with her!
She's snores real bad, and she has a huge nose,
and this squishy thing that lives in her pants!
Please, please don't sell me to her!!
Alright, Butters, tell you what,
if you can raise the two hundred and fifty million dollars yourself
you can stay!
How am I supposed to make that kind of money?
It's called working, young man.
Your grandfather was a coal miner for fifty years!
He never complained!
Get out there and start digging!
Yes sir... I gotta mine some coal really fast!
That should keep him busy for a while
while we get this transaction finished.
Now, Miss Hilton, how shall we start?
Okay, that's two minutes!
You can come out now Clyde and Beth!
Woooo!! - Alright Beth!
How was he Beth!
We had a great time, didn't we Clyde?
Baahhhh... owwie.... owwiieee...
Oh hey, what's going on.
I'm, uh, here for the party.
Yeah? Who invited you?
Oh, uh... Kelly, Kelly invited me.
Kelly who?
Kelly Ruther-ford-min-skin...
Kelly Rutherfordminskin?
Yeah?
Did you invite him? - No.
Oh wait! Wait! It wasn't her, I forgot,
it was Kelly Pinkertonsonfordter.
Kelly Pinkertonsonfordter?
What?
Oh God dammit!
Oh, hello, Wendy are you alright?
No... I need help.
From me?
Actually, I was hoping to see your boyfriend.
Well, sure, come on in.
Mr. Slave is right over here.
Errrrhghgh! Oh, Jesus! Jesus Christ!
Mr. Slave, little Wendy from class wants to see you.
Oh, hi Wendy.
You need help with your math homework?
No, I need help becoming a dirty whore like you.
Oh dear.
Mr. Slave, I think you and Wendy better have
a little talk.
I'll make some cocoa.
Mr. Slave, you're the most perverted, lewd,
depraved slut I know.
Thank you, sweetie.
Can you teach me your secret, fast?
Honey, I didn't work to become a whore.
I was born a whore.
I've been one... ever since I can remember...
Ever since I was a little boy
I seemed to enjoy... different things.
Mommy, I think I have a fever...
Can you take my temperature?
Ooh, Jesus Christ!
As I got older,
I found that one boy was never enough...
Hey, there's that queer kid!
Let's tackle him!
Hey yeah! Tackle the queer kid!
Yeah! - Get him! We'll show you!
Oooh! Jesus Christ!
So you see, I can't make you into a whore, Wendy.
But why would you want to be one anyway?
Because all the other girls are.
They're having a huge sex party right now
and I'm not invited.
A what?
For God's sake, where?
♪ You work eighteen hours and what do you get ♪
♪ parents sell you to Paris Hilton ♪
Look at that.
A bear... mining for coal.
Well, I never!
Well Butters, how did it go?
Did you dig up two hundred million dollars worth of coal?
Well, no, not quite...
Oh well, too bad,
Miss Hilton did raise the money
so you'll be going off with her.
Aw, shucks.
Bye sweetie, we love you!!
Smile Mr. Biggles!
This time I have to get a picture of my new pet
before anything happens!
Before what happens?
Aaagh!
Mr. Biggles? Mr. Biggles come back!
You better help me find him!
No Mr. Biggles, no money!
Oh, that troublemaking son of ours!
Butters you get back here or you are grounded, mister!
Oh, Jesus!
Kids!
Ooh, party foul!
Shut off the light!
Oh, thank God!
Girls what on Earth are you doing?
We're being Stupid Spoiled Whores.
Help, you gotta hide me!
Don't tell her I'm in here!
What did you do Wendy, go rat on us
because you're not invited to our Paris Hilton party?
Okay, I think this has all gone far enough.
Now look, the last person you want to be like
is Paris Hilton!
Mr. Biggles?
Paris Hilton is a nobody.
She may have money
but she's a thoughtless, talentless low-life.
Who the fuck are you calling a low-life?
Wow, Paris Hilton is at my party!
I rule!
Aaaghgh!
Hon, will you just tell these girls
that being a whore isn't such a great thing?
What isn't great about it?
What's more to life than partying?
Look, girls, I've partied a lot, okay?
And I'm telling you there's more to life.
You don't even know what partying is, loser!
Sweetie, really, don't go there, okay.
Oh I went there! I went there,
took some pictures and flew back already!
Oooh!
Wow, what a bitch!
Sweetie, listen, I know you've done some "partying"
in your bubbled little rich life
but you don't even want to know
the kind of stuff I've done.
I'm the real whore
and I'm telling you it isn't great.
Oh yeah? I challenge you to a whore off!
Oooh!
Whore off!
Uh testing, hello... okay, welcome everyone.
Uh, the South Park Chamber of Commerce
is pleased to bring you the first annual
Who is the Biggest Whore Showdown.
Mr. Slave has no idea what he's in for!
Paris is gonna rock his world!
Uh... I'm not quite sure
how we start this competition off, but--
I'll show you how we start it off!
Oooh!
What is Mr. Slave doing?
He's just sitting there!
Give him time, Wendy, give him time.
Come on, Mr. Slave.
Back off!
None of you losers are enough for me!
Grhghgghgh.... oh yeah... uhhhhh....
Oooh!
♪ Ta-daaaaaa ♪
Oh no, she di-n't!
Oh Jesus...
Arhgghgh!!
Grrghghg! Grrrghgh! Grghgghgh!
Grrrrghghghg!
Ooohh... Jesus...
Now that's a whore!
Wow... I guess Paris isn't such hot shit after all.
People, don't applaud me,
I'm a dirty whore!
Being spoiled and stupid and whorish
is supposed to be a bad thing, remember?
Parents if you don't teach your children
that people like Paris Hilton are supposed to be despised
where are they gonna learn it?
You have to be the-- ooh, Jesus Christ
you have to be the ones to make sure
your daughters aren't looking up to the wrong people!
The homosexual is right.
From now on, Bebe, you're going to dress like a little girl.
Wendy, we're sorry we called you names
like "not stupid", and "not spoiled".
Yeah, and I didn't mean to say you weren't a whore.
That's okay guys.
So... So that's it?
No two hundred million dollars?
Well, Butters, I hope you're happy!
I'm a baaad bear... I'm a very bad ol' bear.
You're a grounded ol' bear!
Erghghgh... Grhghghggh...
Oh my God it's so gross!
Let me outta here!
What the fuck is that?
Paris, you must find your way out of this place
or you'll surely die.
What?
Make your way to small intestine.
There you will meet the Sparrow Prince
who can guide you to Catatafish.
Now go Paris Hilton, make haste!
♪ A great adventure ♪
♪ is waiting for you ahead ♪
♪ Hurry onward Paris Hilton or you will soon be dead ♪
♪ The road ahead is full of danger and fright ♪
♪ but push onward Paris Hilton ♪
♪ with all of your might ♪
♪ Paris Hilton ♪
♪ Stupid whore ♪