♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor!" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm!
♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
Hey, check it out, dude.
Somebody bought the Donovans' old house.
Yeah. I think they already moved in.
I saw moving vans in their driveway two days ago.
I hope they're not Austrians.
That's the last thing this town needs.
Hey, look.
Hello!
Hey. You live here?
Yeah. I just moved here with my dad.
Are you gonna be my new friends?
No.
I really like your town.
My dad wanted to move somewhere to get away from it all.
He said he wanted peace and quiet
and to live with a bunch of hicks who don't know anything.
What's that you're wearing?
It's my mask.
My daddy says its best for me to hide my face.
My name's Blanket.
Your name is Blanket. Right.
Well, Blanket, I'm Howdy Doody.
And these are my friends Timsy, Winky, and Nod.
Unfortunately, we have to be off to the Land of Booger Trees,
so we'll be leaving now.
Wait. Don't you guys want to come inside and play?
Look, dude, we're in the fourth grade, okay?
You know what that means?
It means we don't hang out with little kids.
Come on, guys. Let's get back to our Big Wheels.
We have arcade games inside.
Dad!
Whoa. Dude, no way.
Oh, my God. This is awesome!
Dude, are these all your toys?
No. This is all my dad's stuff. He loves toys and video games.
Dude, he must be loaded! What does he do?
He's retired now.
Oh, my God, dude!
Your dad must the coolest guy in the world.
Come on. My dad's probably out in the backyard.
Oh, kick ass!
Dude, why isn't my house like this?
Dad, you out here?
Here I am, Blanket!
♪ He! ♪
♪ Checha be durta! ♪
Blanket! Oh, my beautiful Blanket!
- What's wrong with his face? - Be cool, dude.
I think maybe he's a burn victim or something.
Guys, this is my dad, Michael Ja--
Jefferson! Michael Jefferson. Yes.
Hey, you want to play with me?
Come on! Let's climb the tree!
Come on. Climb the tree! Climb the tree!
♪ Have you been up my wishin' tree? ♪
♪ Cha ♪
♪ It's where I come to think and dream ♪
♪ And now I'd like to show you my wishin' tree ♪
♪ Jamona ♪
♪ Where we can laugh and giggle and scream ♪
♪ He-he! ♪
Uh, Mr. Jefferson, your son can't get up.
♪ Won't you imagine along with me? ♪
Mr. Jefferson?
♪ We can be spacemen ♪
♪ Or pirates on the sea ♪
♪ J-Jamona ♪
♪ Yes, we can do everything ♪
♪ And I mean everything ♪
♪ J-Jamona ♪
♪ Up in my wishin' tree ♪
♪ He-he! ♪
♪ Oh! ♪
Hey, you guys! You guys!
You got to come with us over to the Jeffersons'!
The Jeffersons'?
They're a new family that just moved to South Park.
We met this kid named Blanket,
and he has the coolest dad in the world.
Mr. Jefferson said we could invite all the kids in town
to go play over at their house.
They have, like, video games and rides
and a cotton-candy machine, and -- and in their backyard --
Guess what they have in their backyard. Guess.
A train.
No way.
Yeah way, Craig!
And if you don't believe in Mr. Jefferson,
then you can just not come.
I believe in Mr. Jefferson.
- Yeah! - This is awesome!
All right!
Whee! Look at us on the swing!
We're swinging!
Who wants the first cotton candy?
Me! Me! Me! Me!
Me! Me! Me! I'm first! I'm first!
Ooh! Let's go ride the choo-choo train!
Choo-choo train! Yay!
Let's ride the train!
The train!
♪ Would you like to ride the train with me ♪
♪ And start a magical journey? ♪
♪ Yes, I would, Mr. Jefferson ♪
♪ You're so awesome, Mr. Jefferson ♪
Cartman! You have a beautiful voice.
Thank you, Mr. Jefferson. So do you.
♪ Let's ride and ride on the train together ♪
- ♪ Train together ♪ - ♪ On a journey
- ♪ Through both of our minds ♪ - ♪ I've got time, do you? ♪
Dude, what happened to your knee?
I fell down.
Mr. Jefferson!
♪ Choo-choo train ♪
♪ It's all fun and games ♪
♪ Choo-choo train ♪
Mister -- God damn it.
Here. Come on. We need to clean that up.
All right. This is gonna sting for a second.
- Ow! - I know, I know. Be cool.
Thank you. That already feels better.
So, dude, do you have any brothers or sisters?
I have a half brother and a half sister.
But they live with their mom now.
And where is your mom?
I don't have a mom.
You must have a mom.
You mean she doesn't live here or she's dead or what?
No. I was made in a laboratory.
What?
My daddy wanted to have a baby, so he put me in a test tube.
Then they put me in a woman's tummy.
And when I was born, daddy took me home.
So you never met your mom?
No.
But I used to have a lot of bodyguards and nannies,
if that counts.
Yeah. Yeah, that counts.
Oh, man! That was great!
You guys know what Mr. Jefferson said?
He said I'm his best friend
and I can go over to his house whenever I want.
I'm supposed to go right back over after dinner tonight.
You guys, I feel kind of bad for that kid.
You feel bad for him?
He has everything a kid could want!
Mr. Jefferson just seems like he wants to be a kid, not have one.
Oh, you know what? This makes perfect sense.
A guy moves into South Park with a Ferris wheel in his backyard,
and Kyle has to see a problem with it.
Mr. Jefferson's the best thing
that's happened to this town in a long time.
And if you mess this up, so help me God,
I will rip your balls off with my bare hands!
With my bare hands, God damn you!
Well, there he is. Where have you been all afternoon?
I was over at the new neighbors', the Jeffersons'.
Oh! Are they nice people?
Yeah. It's just a dad and his son.
We're supposed to have the Broflovskis and the Stotches
over for dinner tonight.
Maybe I'll invite Mr. Jefferson, too.
So, Mr. Jefferson,
did I hear you say you moved here from Kentucky?
Kentucky. Yes.
I'd heard people saying you all were from Illinois.
No. They're -- They're ignorant. That's ignorant.
What kind of work do you do, Mr. Jefferson?
Oh, I'm retired now, but I was in...pharmaceuticals.
Well, our boys have really taken a liking to you.
You seem to really have a way with them.
I just i-identify so much with children.
The innocence. The beauty.
I think that God is in the face of every child.
Yeah.
They are fun.
Boys, you okay out there?
Fine, Mom.
Wow. These are great.
- What are they called again? - They're TV dinners.
Don't you want to take that veil off so you can eat?
No. I'm not supposed to.
Dad says I have to keep my face hidden.
What the hell is going on?
Are you having Mr. Jefferson over for dinner?
No. My parents are.
You guys better not be trying to bogart my friend away.
- What? - He is my friend! You got it?
I was friends with him before you assholes were, and I --
Stan! Stan, I'm seriously!
You better not be talking bad about me to Mr. Jefferson!
Hey, you know, Kobe Bryant was up in Eagle again today.
Oh, yeah? What do you think, Mr. Jefferson?
You think Kobe's guilty or innocent?
I think he's definitely going to jail.
I love seeing smug celebrities get their comeuppance.
I think it's wrong what the police do to wealthy black men.
Oh, come on, Mr. Jefferson.
You're not one of those who think the police go around
framing rich black people just because they're jealous?
Yes, because their hearts are full of greed
and they have doo-doo in their souls.
Hey, Sergeant. Take a look at this.
What you got?
Looks like a new family has just moved into South Park.
One Mr. Jefferson, age 50,
bought a house there and paid cash.
He seems to have a lot of money.
So? What's the problem?
Take a look. Says here...he's black.
By God, so he is.
Black and rich.
Time to take this Mr. Jefferson down, just like we did Kobe.
Let's go, people. We've got another rich black guy.
I want him humiliated and dragged through the dirt,
and I want it done by the books!
Kyle?
Hey, Stan! What you doin'?
Mr. Jefferson -- Aw! It's 1:30 in the morning!
♪ Look at me ♪
♪ I'm Peter Pan ♪
♪ Jamona ♪
♪ I am a little boy forever ♪
♪ He! ♪
Mr. Jefferson, I have to go to school tomorrow.
Oh, son of a bitch! I knew it!
What the hell are you doing, Stan?
I'll tell you what you're doing!
You're trying to steal my best friend!
He just showed up here.
Remember, Mr. Jefferson? You said we were best friends.
Jesus Christ.
Dude, look who I found crawling around in my backyard.
Hi, Stan!
He was out all alone in the middle of the night.
Mr. Jefferson isn't even home!
- I know. He's here. - What?
Oh, Kyle! Blanket! Yay! It's a slumber party!
No, Mr. Jefferson. You need to take your son home.
We can't go home. There's a ghost in our house.
Me and Blanket are scared!
Dad says it wants to eat us.
Please don't make us go back home.
Please! We're scared! We're scared!
♪ He-he! ♪
Okay. Fine. We'll all stay here.
But we're going to sleep now.
Come on, Blanket.
♪ Now let's all sleep and dream ♪
♪ He-he! ♪
♪ Of fun and adventurous things ♪
♪ Jamona ♪
♪ It's time for us all to say good night ♪
Excuse me.
Mr. Jefferson, I wish I could be around you all the time.
You're awesome.
I think you're awesome, too, Cartman.
- Yeah? - Yeah.
Yeah?
What's the matter, Stan? You have a bad dream?
Yeah. A really bad dream. Oh, Jesus.
Murphy, you inside?
We're inside, sir. Harris was right.
This guy looks like he has more money
than all of us put together.
Black son of a bitch.
I'm planting the cocaine now.
Johnson, what about you?
Placing the blood spatter now, sir.
Frakes?
Placing pubic hairs from the raped girl now, sir.
When this Jefferson guy shows up, arrest him fast
and try not to beat him.
There could be neighbors with video cameras.
Why do we do it, Harris?
Sir?
Why is it that us policemen around the country
have such a passion for framing wealthy African-Americans
with crimes they didn't commit?
Oh. I...I guess I never thought about why, sir.
We just do it.
Twenty-five years I've been on the force.
I've seen every kind of sick, depraved act known to humanity.
And still, when I see a black man walk by
who has more money than me,
I want to vomit my gizzards right into the gutter.
But why?
Maybe there is no reason.
Maybe there's just a big blue ball out there
that's mostly covered with water
and we're just going along for the ride.
Stan, time to get up for school.
Stan? What the...
Mr. Jefferson?!
Ooh! Oh! We were just having a slumber party.
Mr. Jefferson, this is highly inappropriate!
Inappropriate? No! You're being ignorant.
They're my friends.
You see, I-I didn't have a childhood,
so I'm really just a child myself.
Here. Everything's okay. I want you each to have $100.
Wow. I'm gonna go buy that new sport coat I've been wanting.
Come on, Blanket. We have to go home and feed the animals.
Bye, friends!
Boys, I do not want you going over to Mr. Jefferson's anymore.
Do you understand?
You don't have to tell us twice, Mom. That guy is a freak.
Not go to Mr. Jefferson's anymore?
Well, excuse my French, Mrs. Marsh,
but you can suck my fat, hairy balls.
Come on, Blanket!
H-Harris. Harris! Harris! Harris!
W-What? What?
It's Jefferson. He's back.
All right, people.
Let's give blackie a nice welcome home.
Whoa. Wait a -- That guy isn't black!
Holy God! His son isn't black either!
Oh, Jesus! This is Yates!
Stand down! I repeat -- Stand down!
Suspect is not black.
You son of a bitch!
You told me this guy was African-American!
It says right here on the fil-o-sheet he is!
Does that look like a black guy to you?!
It said on the fil-o-sheet.
Jesus Christ monkey balls!
We could have made an innocent man go to jail
who wasn't black!
Oh!
Jesus, Harris. What are we becoming?
We're supposed to protect the people.
Where have we lost our way?
Sir, it's possible that he is black
even though he doesn't look it.
To hell with you!
I'm never gonna frame an innocent man again
unless I know he's black for sure!
All the adults are trying to get us.
Get up to your room, Blanket, and put your mask on!
We can't go outside anymore!
That poor kid.
Dude, come on. We're not supposed to go over there.
Hi, guys!
Hey, Blanket.
Uh, look, we're going over to help my dad chop wood.
You want to come with?
Really? You mean it?
Oh, yay! My friends are here!
Come inside and play, guys!
Uh, actually, Mr. Jefferson,
we were seeing if Blanket wanted to chop wood with us.
Chop wood? No. That's ignorant.
That's poopy work. Blanket and me want to play!
Mr. Jefferson, it might be good for Blanket
to learn how to chop wood.
Blanket likes to play! Don't you, Blanket?
Whee! Look! He can fly!
- Jesus Christ, dude! - Aah!
Stop, you fucking lunatic!
Dude, we have got to get that kid away from him.
No, Blanket. Shh! Stop crying.
It's okay, Blanket! Here. Look.
♪ He! ♪
♪ Checha be durta! ♪
♪ Ow! ♪
There, Blanket. Shh!
H-Hey, look. Hey, look.
I got your nose.
Look, Blanket. I got your nose!
I got your nose, Blanket. See?
I got your nose.
No! Blanket, stop!
It's ignorant! You're being ignorant!
Harrison, why haven't you called?
You know how I worry.
I'm giving it up, Maggie. I'm quitting the force.
Quitting the force? You?
None of it makes sense anymore.
I don't even know if what we're doing is right.
The last 13 hours we've been working on a case,
trying to get a real scumbag off the streets.
And when he walked up to the door,
I could've sworn he was white.
Maybe I can't tell the difference anymore.
Maybe it doesn't matter,
'cause it seems like every time we frame a rich black guy,
he's back out on the streets in no time.
It's just like O.J.
Do you know how hard those cops worked to frame him,
the tireless hours they put in?
And then he just gets off because somebody messed up
and said the "N" word out loud too many times.
I guess I'm just tired.
I'm just damn tired.
Not another word of that kind of talk, Harrison Yates.
Believe me, I would love nothing more
than to have you quit the force and no longer have to worry
about whether or not you're coming home.
But I know you.
Framing rich black men for crimes they didn't commit
is in your blood.
Wiping that rich, smug smile off their faces
is the only thing that puts a smile on yours.
You're a good cop, Harrison Yates.
You don't have to question that, because I'm here to tell you.
And you're a good wife, Maggie.
You know me better than I know myself.
Where are you going?
I think I've got a little more work to do.
Mr. Jefferson?
It's your best friend in the whole wide world, Eric Cartman.
Mr. Jefferson?
I was gonna sleep over tonight, remember?
No! Dr. Nelson, I'm telling you.
You have to fly out here right now!
My nose came off again!
I know you live in California. I'll pay for your plane ticket.
But I'm falling apart!
I need some more of that cream and the injections.
I have to look young again!
Oh! I'm melting!
All right. Thanks a lot for helping us, dude.
Yeah. Sure. Whatever.
You've just got to pretend you're Blanket
until we can get the real Blanket somewhere safe.
Aren't I too big to be Blanket?
I don't think Mr. Jefferson pays enough attention to his son to notice.
Come on!
Blanket? You in here?
- Hi, guys! - Shh!
Blanket, we're gonna take you away for a little while, okay?
You are?
Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you!
All right. Get in his bed.
All right. But you guys owe me for this.
Dude, whatever. At least you finally get to do something.
Santa Barbara Police Department. This is Snetzl.
Hello. This is Sergeant Yates
over at the Park County Police Department in Colorado.
Yes, Sergeant. What can I do for you?
Well, we've been trying to frame this guy
who just moved into our town,
and the fil-o-fax says he moved from your area --
one Martin Jefferson?
No, we never had any rich African-Americans
named Jefferson here.
If we had, we would've framed them ourselves.
Well, he doesn't really look that black.
Yeah. I don't -- Hold on a second.
There was one we framed a couple of times.
But the black bastard was so rich,
he made bail and disappeared before the trial.
You say he disappeared. What did you frame him for?
We, uh, found some kids that had stayed over at his place,
and we asked them to make up some false molestation charges.
Molestation. Nice.
Yeah, it was a lot of work. Took years.
But we were finally able to arrest him.
Then we planted some evidence,
took embarrassing photos of his penis,
and threw him in a prison cell with doody feces on the walls.
You should have seen him squirm.
That's damn fine police work, Sergeant. Damn fine.
Yeah, but the point is,
this guy didn't really look black either.
We had to sneak in while he was asleep
and get a DNA sample to be sure.
Jesus Christ monkey balls.
It must be the same guy.
Mr. Jefferson? Hello?
Come on, Blanket.
We got to go before your dad sees us.
What are you doing with my Blanket?
Come on, Blanket. Play with me.
♪ Checha be durta! ♪
♪ He! ♪
- Aah! - Aah!
Go! Go! Run!
♪ Checha ♪
- Aah! - Aah!
♪ Checha gurna! Jamona! ♪
♪ He-he! ♪
Oh, Jesus!
What the hell is going on, guys?
My Blanket!
Let's play, Blanket!
No, no, no. Wait! I'm not Blanket!
Whee! He can fly! He can fly!
Aah! Stop!
Oh, my God! He killed Kenny!
You bastard!
Blanket?
Blanket! Come play!
- No! - Come on!
Run, Blanket! Run!
- Aah! - ♪ Checha! ♪
- Get up, Blanket!
Aah! ♪ He-he! ♪
Freeze, Jefferson! The gig is up!
You are wanted for child molestation.
No! I am sick and tired of people harassing Mr. Jefferson!
All I've been hearing since Mr. Jefferson moved here
are sick lies -- that he molests children,
that he's a bad father, that he had plastic surgery.
It's ignorant.
Sure, maybe Mr. Jefferson is a little different.
That's because he had to work all the time when he was young
and missed out on his childhood.
What's wrong with wanting to have
the innocence and beauty of a child?
All right.
Let's just say all the bad things said about Mr. Jefferson
are lies.
Let's say the police department does just go around
framing people for crimes they didn't commit.
Let's say it's all made up
and Mr. Jefferson is just a nice guy
who's trying to be a child
because he never got to have a childhood.
Well, that's fine, except for that he has children now.
And when people have children, they have to grow up!
You're right.
I've been so obsessed with my childhood
that I've forgotten about his.
I thought having lots of rides and toys was enough.
But Blanket doesn't need a playmate.
He needs a father and a normal life.
♪ Checha do gurna! ♪
Blanket, I want to give away all my money.
I-I want to get a normal job
and take a shot at raising you in a normal setting.
Look, everybody.
I'm a normal little boy!
Well, if you're gonna give away all your money,
then I guess we can drop all those charges.
No point in putting another poor black man in jail.
All right! Things just might work out!
Things can always work out,
as long as we know we have the power to change.
♪ We all have the power to change ♪
♪ If we search inside our hearts ♪
♪ And we start to heal the wounds ♪
♪ Of all our yesterdays ♪
♪ And you know it might be hard ♪
♪ But all you've got to do is start ♪
♪ And you can change all your evil molesting ways ♪
♪ Cha! ♪
♪ Checha be durta! ♪
♪ He-he! ♪
♪ Oh! ♪
♪ Ha ♪
♪ Checha be durta! ♪
♪ He-he! ♪
♪ Jamona! Chechocha jamona! ♪
♪ Checha! ♪