♪ I'm going down to South Park, gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Going down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪
♪ Heading on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Mrph rmhmhm rm! Mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine ♪
Okay, children, we have a special guest today --
a woman recruiting young people for a national choir tour.
Now, I know that choir tours are totally stupid and lame,
but please give her your full attention.
Go ahead.
Uh, thank you, Mr. Garrison.
How are we all doing today?
I can't hear you!
I said, "how are we all doing?"
Eric Cartman, you say "excuse me"!
Okay.
Go ahead.
Children, we are a national choir called
"Getting Gay With Kids."
We're gonna do a big tour down in Central America
to help save the rainforest, and you can be a part of it.
Mrph rmhmhm rm.
Kenny McCormick, you speak when you're spoken to!
Go ahead.
You see, we take kids from all over the country
and put them in a choir where we sing and dance
to raise awareness about our vanishing rainforests.
Did you know over 10,000 acres of rainforest
are bulldozed every year?
That's right, and over 30% of the world's oxygen
is made in the rainforest.
So, who wants to join the fun?
What if you don't have any rhythm?
Excuse me? - Like my friend Kyle.
He's Jewish so he doesn't have any rhythm.
Shut up, fat-ass! - Choirs suck.
Kyle Broflovski, you watch your language!
Eric Cartman, you be nice to people!
Stan Marsh, you mind your manners!
Kenny McCormick, you pay attention!
Go ahead.
Well, that's all, really.
So if anyone is interested
in seeing the rainforest and joining our choir,
I'll leave information packets up front.
That's good. We need some more toilet paper.
Alright, that does it!
I am tired of seeing you in my office.
You get sent here every day, Craig.
I know.
Why can't you behave?
I don't know.
What do you have to say for yourself?
Well, I'll tell you what, young man,
you're gonna be held back a grade if you don't--
Did you just flip me off?! - No.
Yes, you did. You just flipped me the bird.
Now, see, this is exactly what I'm talking about.
If you don't shape up, m'kay, and get your head straight--
There! You just flipped me off again!
No, I didn't. - Yes, you did!
And until you stop flipping people off,
you can just go back to the waiting room, m'kay?
Next!
Well, well, well,
if it isn't Stan, Kyle, Kenny, and Eric.
Hey, Craig. - Hey, don't flip me off,
you son of a bitch!
Sit down, boys.
Let's see, what did Mr. Garrison send you in here for?
"The boys were being rude while a choir teacher
was giving some stupid presentation."
It's just some dumb activist kids' choir thing.
Young man, "Getting Gay With Kids"
is not dumb, m'kay?
It just so happens that I'm on the board of directors.
Dude, all those choirs are the same.
They don't even really sing. They use prerecorded tapes.
Well, guess what, boys?
I think "Getting Gay With Kids" is just what you need.
I'm gonna sign up all four of you.
What?! - You can't do that!
Mrph rm!
Mrph rm, mrph.
I think this will be very good for you.
But we don't even care about the rainforest.
And that's exactly why you need to go, m'kay?
Please, Mr. Mackey, we'll be good!
Don't send us to that old kids' choir!
Have mercy, Mr. Mackey!
Be safe, Kyle.
Bring me something back from the rainforest.
Oh, no, the rainforest is very fragile.
We must take only pictures and leave only footprints.
Oh, I didn't realize.
Did you know that right now,
bulldozers are tearing down thousand of acres
of rainforest every day?
Ah, man, this is gonna suck donkey balls.
Please, don't make me go on a choir tour, mom! Please!
Stan, you should be excited.
I would love to see the rainforest.
Besides, your dad and I need some time alone.
Noooo!
Okay, children, that's all of us.
We're ready to head for the Latin-American nation
of Costa Rica,
a country filled with virgin rainforest.
Whoopee.
And you must be Eric Cartman. I've heard about you.
You don't respect nature or other cultures.
Yeah, pretty much.
Well, I'm gonna change the way you think, kiddo.
My name's Kelly.
Mrph rm rmphm. - Lenny?
Mrph rmphm! - Johnny?
Rmphm! - Oh.
Now, we've got a long trip ahead of us,
so let's take the opportunity to learn our choreography.
The nightmare begins.
Oh, look, children!
I think we're entering San José,
which is the capital of Costa Rica.
Oh, this is so exciting!
Oh, my God, dude!
Look how dirty and crappy everything is!
Eric, Costa Rica is a third-world country.
These people are much poorer than those in the U.S.
Why the hell don't they get jobs?
Hey! Why don't you people quit slacking off and get a job?!
What's wrong with you?! Go to college!
Eric, sit down!
You gotta be firm with these people
or they just slack off and be poor forever, right, Kenny?
Hey, maybe that's it, Kenny. Maybe you're Costa Rican.
That's why your family's so poor.
Mrph rmhmhm rm. - Your family isn't poor?
Wow, dude, look over there!
Wow! Costa Rican prostitutes!
Hey, look at the prostitutes, you guys!
What are you looking at, man?
Yeah, why don't you take a picture?
Okay. Cleek!
Eric, sit down!
Kids, this is the Costa Rican Capitol building.
This is where all the leaders
of the Costa Rican government make their--
Oh, my God, it smells like ass out here!
Alright, that does it!
Eric Cartman, you respect other cultures this instant!
I wasn't saying anything about their culture.
I'm just saying their city smells like ass.
Wow, seeing a place like this
really makes you appreciate living in America, huh?
Mrph rm.
You may think that making fun
of third-world countries is funny,
but let me--
I don't think it's funny.
This place is overcrowded, smelly, and poor.
That's not funny. That sucks.
Eric, will you please, please, just keep your mouth shut
while we present ourselves to the Costa-Rican president?
Why?
Because I'll buy you some ice cream if you do.
Oh!
Well, it was a long trip,
but the children are very excited to sing tomorrow.
¿Qué?
Uh, we're the choir
that-that was sent from the United States.
¿Qué?
We're the group singing
for the "Save the Rainforest" summit tomorrow?
Oh, dear, where's Mr. Mackey?
He should've been here by now.
Children, do any of you speak Spanish?
Don't you dare!
Sorry I'm late.
Oh, thank goodness you're here. I don't speak any Spanish.
Oh, no problem.
Usted es choir de estados unidos, muy bien.
Oh, oh-- "Save the Rainforest."
Yes!
He says, "Pablo here will take you on a rainforest tour."
Oh, boy!
Mr. Presidente,
round up your subjects outside.
We have a special gift for you--
The gift... of song.
¿Qué?
Alright, children,
let's get in our rows quickly so we can begin.
Did you remember all the choreography, Lenny?
Mrph rmhmhm rm.
Hello, everybody!
This is just a little rehearsal for tomorrow,
so we may be a little rusty.
♪ Doo-doo-dee-doo ♪
♪ Zada-doo-dee-wow ♪
♪ There's a place that is magical ♪
♪ And full of rain ♪
♪ But now it needs help because it is in pain ♪
♪ Cleaning the earth is a mighty big chore ♪
♪ We're spreading awareness like never before ♪
♪ Getting Gay With Kids is here ♪
♪ To spread the word and bring you cheer ♪
♪ Let's save the rainforest, what do you say? ♪
♪ Being an activist is totally gay ♪
♪ And someday, if we work hard, boys and girls ♪
♪ There'll be nothing but rainforest ♪
♪ Covering the entire world ♪
♪ World! ♪
♪ Getting Gay With Kids is here ♪
♪ To spread the word and bring you cheer ♪
♪ Getting Gay With Kids is here ♪
♪ So save the rainforest ♪
♪ Totally gay ♪
♪ It's totally gay! ♪
Great job, gang!
You were really all over the place, Kyle.
Thanks.
I told you Jewish people don't have rhythm.
Fuck off, Cartman!
No, dude, I think Cartman might actually be right.
No! That's a stereotype!
Dude, maybe you really don't have any rhythm.
This is now secondary rainforest we're entering.
Notice the canopy of foliage.
Oh, it's everything I ever dreamed it would be!
Damn, it's hot out here.
Aah! Snake!
No, dude, that's a branch.
Oh. Aah! Snake!
No, that's the same branch again.
Oh.
The rainforest is very delicate,
and we must take steps to protect it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Take steps, blah, blah, blah.
We hear this a million times back up in the States.
Here, look-- these are squirrel monkeys,
endangered inhabitants of the rainforest.
Wow, isn't he neat, Lenny?
Bad! Bad monkey!
Eric, what the heck are you doing?!
I'm asserting myself.
It's tough love, just like my Mr. Kitty.
When he's bad, I say, "that's a bad Mr. Kitty!"
And I smack him on the head!
And here is a three-toed sloth.
It's bad-- that's a bad three-toed sloth!
Eric, for God's sake, knock it off!
Respect my authoritah!
Well, Mr. Pedro, this was a great tour,
but I guess we should be heading back.
We have a big concert tomorrow, don't we, kids?
Yeah! Yeah!
I wish we could've seen the yanogapa.
What's the Yanogapa?
The Yanogapa are a gentle native people
that live in the rainforest,
but bulldozers are destroying their homes.
Soon, they will have nowhere to go.
So we must stop bulldozing the rainforest --
Oh, God, here she goes again!
Aah! - Stanley, what is it?
Snake!
Oh, yes, this is what we call a coral snake.
Notice the red markings. Quite an amazing creature.
Aah!
What's the matter, little boy?
He's a little wuss. What's it look like?
I'm just scared of snakes.
No, no, you must remember,
this snake is more afraid of us than we are of it.
Aah!
Oh, my God!
Yeah, that snake is really scared of us, alright.
Jesus Christ! Is he dead?
Dude!
My guess would be "yes."
Oh, no! God, no!
Now, don't panic, children.
Bad!
That's a bad snake-- aah!
Maybe we came from that way. No... No.
Let's try this way.
Lenny, do you think we're gonna be okay?
Mrph rmhmhm rm.
That's good. Can I tell you something?
Mrph rm. - I think I like you.
Mrph?!
Yeah, I think we communicate really well.
Mrph rmhmhm rm! - No, that's not good.
Mrph rmh rmphm?
No. See, if I start to like you too much,
I'm only going to get my heart broken,
'cause we live on opposite ends of the country.
Once this choir tour is over,
we'll never see each other again,
and that would devastate me!
So I can't have any feelings for you!
I just can't, Lenny! - Mrph!
Oh, children, the sun is setting.
We have to find our way out of here, quick!
Okay, okay.
Everything is just fine, kids.
Now, it is important that we all stick together.
Is everybody still here?
I'm not.
Who's not?
Me.
Lenny, will you hold my hand?
I don't want to get emotionally attached, though.
Oh, my God, dude! I just saw Tony Danza!
No, you didn't just see Tony Danza, Stanley.
Bueno. Bueno.
Dude, we're totally lost.
- We're gonna die out here. - We are?
Don't worry, Kelly,
we're gonna find our way out of the rainforest
and make it back to the concert in time.
We just need to respect our mother rainforest,
and she will respect us.
Mrs. Stevens, you have a bug on your back.
Oh, really? Could you brush it off?
Um, no.
Whoa! Oh, my God! Get it off me!
For the love of God, get it off me!
Oh, my God!
Okay, children, we must understand
that the insects of the rainforest
help the delicate balance of life here.
Oh, my God!
The rainforest sucks. I want to go home.
Me too!
Shh, children.
Let's try to listen to what the rainforest tells us.
And if we use our ears,
she can tell us so many things --
Aah! There's a dude here.
Oh, thank goodness! Hello, sir, we are lost.
Can you help us?
¿Qué?
Let me try, let me try.
We are from America-- A-mer-ica.
We are lost and very hungry.
Necesito burritos.
I don't want a burrito, I want a taco... supreme.
A taco.
I want two tostadas with mild sauce.
Two tostadas...
Boys, not every Spanish person eats tacos and burritos.
That's a stereotype.
Children, he wants us to follow him.
Oh, thank goodness!
I think this ordeal is over.
This doesn't look very safe.
Yeah, I think we should get the hell out of here.
Now, kids, let's be a bit more open-minded.
I've read all about this in Newsweek.
This is a people's army.
They are fighting the fascist policies
of their fascist government.
Oh, hello.
Do you speak, uh, English?
Who are you? - Oh, wonderful!
We were lost, and it is such a great coincidence
we found you.
We're here to protest the government-sanctioned raping
of your rainforest.
We are fighters, just like you.
Could you help us get back to San José?
Um...oh, I know! Perhaps you would like a gift.
Well, we have only one gift to give--
the gift of song.
♪ Doo-doo-dee-doo ♪
♪ Zada-doo-dee-wow ♪
♪ There's a place that is magical ♪
♪ And full of rain ♪
Kyle, for the love of God, do the right choreography.
♪ Cleaning the earth is a mighty big chore ♪
♪ We're spreading awareness like never before ♪
Oh, Kyle, please!
♪ Getting Gay With Kids is here ♪
Enough!
Well, we hope that our gift of song
has warmed your hearts.
We're not getting gay with any kids, okay?
Uh, yeah, so... do you have a phone we could use?
Yes, we have a phone.
It's right over there, next to the 12-person jacuzzi.
Now, get out of here before we kill you!
If it's because of the little Jewish boy's choreography--
Hey!
You whacked Americans make me sick.
You waste food, oil, and everything else
because you're so rich, and then you tell the rest of the world
to save the rainforest
because you like its pretty flowers.
Aah! Aah!
Rápido! Rápido!
Run, children, run!
Hello? Anybody?
Help!
Wow, look at the pretty flower.
Oh, no, no, no, Jake.
That fragile flower is very delicate.
Aah! Ow, it hurts!
Aah!
I want to go home! I hate the rainforest!
Mrph rmhmhm rm.
Oh, Lenny, hold me.
No, I can't get attached.
But I do like you. - Mrph rmh rmphm.
But you're only going to leave me.
Mrph rmhmhm rm!
We're here live in San José, Costa Rica,
where hundreds of rich Americans have gathered
for the "Save the Rainforest" summit.
Everyone is here so they can feel good about themselves
and act like they aren't the ones responsible
for the rainforest's peril.
That's right, Bob, and, of course,
the main attraction today is the darling kids' choir
"Getting Gay With Kids,"
all of whom must be backstage preparing
at this very moment.
Oh, there's just no end to this place.
I think maybe we're going in circles.
Oh, dear God! The summit starts in an hour.
I'm going to lose my job.
Aah!
This is bull crap.
I am not following this stupid hippie around anymore.
Where are you going? - I'm going this way.
Young man, I am the adult here,
and I say you go this way!
Look, you can stay over nah,
but I'm going over nah!
Young man, I have had it!
No, no, no -- you nah, me nah.
Screw you guys! I'm going home.
Good! You deserve to die, you little bastard!
Eric, we have to stay together!
God damn stupid hippie activist.
I should be home nestled on the couch
with my Mr. Kitty right now
watching "Fat Albert" cartoons...
Yes! I knew it! I'm saved!
Hey, maybe Cartman was right.
Yeah, it happened once before.
No, the spirit of Maya has told me to go this way.
Mister, you gotta help me! I'm starving to death.
What are you doing here, little boy?
I was with my class,
and we got lost rainforest, and I need some food!
I'm fading fast!
Lost in the rainforest? Oh, my Lord!
Where are all the others?
Food! I have to have food!
Oh, my God! Get this child some food, quick!
Chicken wings.
Chicken wings! Medium spicy.
Start the show! Start the show!
Oh, God, this is a nightmare!
We're never going to make the festival.
Hey, look over there. Isn't that smoke?
Let's go, quickly!
Hey, it's a fire. That means there must be people.
Children, it's the Yanogapa!
Do not be afraid.
We are not here to tear down your rainforest.
Look how they live in peace with all living things.
Gentle, noble...
Run for your lives children! - Holy crap!
Jesus Christ! - Run, run, run!
Aah!
Aah! Lenny!
What the hell? I'm sinking.
It's quicksand!
All we ever heard growing up
was "save the rainforest," "the rainforest is fragile."
Yeah, fragile my ass!
Larry, if we make it out of this,
I want to be your girlfriend.
Even if we do live in different places,
I don't care.
Mrph rmhmhm rm.
Okay, just what the heck is going on here, people?
Aaaah!
Oh, no!
That big thing is going to make love to Miss Stevens!
Alright, that does it!
God damn, stupid-ass rainforest!
This place fucking sucks!
I was wrong! Fuck the rainforest!
I fucking hate it!
Now she figures it out.
Quick! Everybody help the children!
Hyah!
Wow! Dude, bulldozers rule!
Come on, let's get you back to civilization!
Hooray!
Hooray, children!
How did you know where we were?
Your little friend helped me out.
Eric?
Who'd you expect? Merv Griffin?
What exactly are you guys doing out here
with all this construction equipment?
We're clearing out big sections of the rainforest
for a lumberyard.
Really? That's great!
You mean, you don't mind?
No, I hate the rainforest.
You go right ahead and plow down this whole fucking thing.
That's swell!
Okay, Lenny, so,
in order for our long-distance relationship to work,
we'll have to call each other every other day.
Mrph rmhmhm rm.
Aah!
Aah! Lenny, no!
Oh, my God! They killed Kenny!
You bastards!
What?! Who?! Who killed him?!
They did.
Who's "they"?
You know, "they".
They're-- they're bastards.
Well, don't just stand there! Help him!
What? Help... him?
Ugh!
Come on, Benny! Breathe!
Breathe, you son of a bitch!
Whoa, dude!
And now,
here to teach us about the rainforest
is "Getting Gay With Kids."
Does everybody remember the new lyrics?
And... ♪ Doo-doo-dee-doo ♪
♪ Zada-doo-dee-wow ♪
♪ There's a place called the rainforest ♪
♪ That truly sucks ass ♪
♪ Let's knock it all down and get rid of it fast ♪
♪ You say, "save the rainforest" ♪
♪ But what do you know? ♪
♪ You've never been to the rainforest before ♪
♪ Getting Gay With Kids is here ♪
♪ To tell you things you might not like to hear ♪
♪ You only fight these causes 'cause caring sells ♪
♪ All you activists can go fuck yourselves ♪
That was so inspiring.
What a wonderful message.
♪...Boys and girls ♪
♪ There'll be no more rainforests ♪
♪ Left in the entire world ♪
♪ World ♪
♪ Getting Gay With Kids is here ♪
♪ To spread the word and bring you cheer ♪
♪ Getting Gay With Kids is here ♪
♪ Let's knock down the rainforest ♪
♪ What do you say? ♪
♪ It's totally gay ♪