♪♪
Les: ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪ Les: ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
Les: ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ Les: ♪ I'm goin' down to South Park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ People spouting, "Howdy, neighbor" ♪
Les: ♪ Headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪ Les: ♪ Headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Murpph mmmph mmph mmmph mrrr mff mrmmph! ♪
Les: ♪ Come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine ♪ Les: ♪ Come on down to South Park, and meet some friends of mine ♪
♪♪
[ Gunshots ] [ Gunshots ]
All right.
Thanks for comin' in today
to discuss your daughter's behavior, m'kay. to discuss your daughter's behavior, m'kay.
Exactly what kind of trouble is Shelley in, Mr. Mackey? Exactly what kind of trouble is Shelley in, Mr. Mackey?
Well, unfortunately, we found out
our playground monitor has been accepting favors our playground monitor has been accepting favors
to look the other way at recess and, uh... to look the other way at recess and, uh...
your daughter sent him an inappropriate picture.
of her butthole, m'kay. of her butthole, m'kay.
Her butthole? Shelley! Her butthole? Shelley!
Why would the recess monitor
want a picture of my daughter's butthole?!
We've been having a lot of issues at the school We've been having a lot of issues at the school
with kids vaping lately, with kids vaping lately,
and they bribe the recess monitor
however they can.
Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ!
How much worse can things get around here?!
M'kay, but -- but there is good news, m'kay. M'kay, but -- but there is good news, m'kay.
We had the picture analyzed, and it turns out it was We had the picture analyzed, and it turns out it was
actually just a picture of a dog's butthole, actually just a picture of a dog's butthole,
m'kay, that your daughter claimed was hers.
M'kay, there it is -- a little fur right there. M'kay, there it is -- a little fur right there.
Seriously? Dog's butthole? Seriously? Dog's butthole?
That's what we're doing now, huh?
There's not enough bad things in the world? There's not enough bad things in the world?
We get called into school, here's a dog's butthole for ya.
That's what it's all come to, Shelley!? That's what it's all come to, Shelley!? That's what it's all come to, Shelley!?
I'm over it, Sharon. I am seriously over it. I'm over it, Sharon. I am seriously over it.
Don't you wanna just start over? Go back to simpler times?
What do you mean? What do you mean?
I've had it -- school shootings,
pieces of shit taking Ambien and tweeting, pieces of shit taking Ambien and tweeting,
priests raping kids, and somehow... priests raping kids, and somehow...
I'm not laughing anymore.
Let's do it, Sharon, what I've always talked about. Let's do it, Sharon, what I've always talked about.
Let's get outta here.
Go buy a farm and live off the land.
Are you being serious? Are you being serious?
I've never been more serious.
[ Horn honks ] [ Horn honks ]
Hey, the lights green!
Shut up, Nelson! Shut up, Nelson!
Let's move out to the country.
Go back to simple living when things mattered,
like hard work and tegridy. like hard work and tegridy.
How will we make a living?
By growing things By growing things
and selling what we make with our hands.
We can do this, Sharon. We can do this, Sharon.
It's time. It's time.
♪ This ol' world is gettin' to me ♪ ♪ This ol' world is gettin' to me ♪
♪ There's just no trust, no tegridy ♪ ♪ There's just no trust, no tegridy ♪
♪ So, I loaded up the kids, took my wife by the arm ♪ ♪ So, I loaded up the kids, took my wife by the arm ♪ ♪ So, I loaded up the kids, took my wife by the arm ♪
♪ And I moved on out to a Colorado farm ♪
♪♪ ♪♪
♪ Now it's early to bed, early to rise ♪ ♪ Now it's early to bed, early to rise ♪
♪ The crops are plowed, and it's no surprise ♪ ♪ The crops are plowed, and it's no surprise ♪
♪ City folks are fightin', and I don't give a darn ♪
♪ Darn ♪ ♪ Darn ♪
♪ Cause I make my livin' on a Colorado farm ♪ ♪ Cause I make my livin' on a Colorado farm ♪
♪ I gotta drive the tractor, gotta cut the grass ♪ ♪ I gotta drive the tractor, gotta cut the grass ♪
♪ Chut-chut goes the baler like it's never gonna last ♪ ♪ Chut-chut goes the baler like it's never gonna last ♪
♪ There's food in the kitchen, and there's bud in the barn ♪
♪ Barn ♪
♪ That's life livin' on a Colorado farm ♪ ♪ That's life livin' on a Colorado farm ♪
♪♪ ♪♪
♪ Ice cold beer, pickup truck ♪ ♪ Ice cold beer, pickup truck ♪
♪ Country music, listin' shit ♪
♪ We've got tegridy to keep us warm ♪ ♪ We've got tegridy to keep us warm ♪ ♪ We've got tegridy to keep us warm ♪
♪ That's what you get on a Colorado Farm ♪ ♪ That's what you get on a Colorado Farm ♪
♪ And I'm gonna stay on a Colorado Farm ♪
Shit... Shit...
♪♪ ♪♪
So, just like that?
Your parents sold your house and everything?
Yeah, it takes me like an hour to get to school now.
It sucks.
All because Shelley bribed the playground monitor All because Shelley bribed the playground monitor
to let her vape during recess.
Why would your sister want
to get addicted to those things? to get addicted to those things?
Well your little brother does it too, Kyle. Well your little brother does it too, Kyle.
What are you talking about?
You didn't know?
The kindergartners are, like, The kindergartners are, like,
the biggest vapers at this school.
Vroom, vroom. Vroom, vroom.
I am a truck!
Watch out for the monster! Watch out for the monster!
Kyle: Ike!
Ike, do you have a vaping pen?! Ike, do you have a vaping pen?!
Nope.
Dude! Gimme that! Dude! Gimme that!
Hey! Gimme back my vaporizer!
What is this? What is this?
Cherry-flavored nicotine?! Are you joking?
Aw, come on! All the kids are doing it. Aw, come on! All the kids are doing it.
Yeah! I like lemon flavor!
I like raspberry!
Why do you want nicotine?! Why do you want nicotine?!
Do you know how hard it is being a kindergartner? Do you know how hard it is being a kindergartner?
We need a break sometimes!
These things are bad for you, do you understand?! These things are bad for you, do you understand?!
Bad kindergartners!
Relax, bitch. Relax, bitch.
Try some gummy bear surprise.
[ Coughs ] [ Coughs ]
All right. Where'd you guys get these?
[ Engine idling ] [ Engine idling ]
[ Engine turns off ] [ Engine turns off ]
Mornin', Joe. How's the farmin'? Mornin', Joe. How's the farmin'?
Doing good, neighbor.
Just planted some Purple Skunky Kush. Just planted some Purple Skunky Kush.
Harvested the Super Hindu Haze last week. Harvested the Super Hindu Haze last week.
Well that's fine, Joe, just fine.
I'm growin' some Green Willy Stranger myself. I'm growin' some Green Willy Stranger myself.
And the Catatonic Tegridy Bud is takin' well. And the Catatonic Tegridy Bud is takin' well.
[ Engine starts ]
Well, see ya 'round, neighbor! Well, see ya 'round, neighbor!
So long, Joe!
[ Indistinct talking ] [ Indistinct talking ]
Kindergartners said it's some big kid
in a trench coat. in a trench coat.
Hey, look!
Kyle: That's gotta be him.
What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?
I'm gonna tell him if he sells a vape pen
to my brother again, I'm gonna kick his ass! to my brother again, I'm gonna kick his ass!
Hey, you!
Oh! Hey, fellas!
Butters?! Butters?!
What are you guys doin?
Butters, are you selling vapes?
Well, sure! Whatcha lookin' for?! Well, sure! Whatcha lookin' for?!
I've got strawberry, vanilla, tropical passion -- I've got strawberry, vanilla, tropical passion --
-What?! -Tropical passion.
It's like mango and kiwi. It's like mango and kiwi.
Butters, you understand this stuff is
an epidemic at our school?!
Yeah, and at five bucks a pop, we're gonna be rich! Yeah, and at five bucks a pop, we're gonna be rich!
Butters, this is for Kyle.
Oof! Oof!
Randy, I think we need to have a talk. Randy, I think we need to have a talk.
No time to talk.
The agricultural inspector's about to drop by. The agricultural inspector's about to drop by.
Once we get certified from him,
we can start selling like a real farm. we can start selling like a real farm.
Have patience, wife.
Soon our fortunes will change. Soon our fortunes will change.
[ Knocks on door ]
Ooh, that must be him now! Ooh, that must be him now!
Yes, I'm with the State testing board. Yes, I'm with the State testing board.
Is this... Tegridy Farms? Is this... Tegridy Farms?
Name's right there on the sign. Come on back!
So, with this Vestin device,
I can check not only the THC levels in your product, I can check not only the THC levels in your product,
but also detect any impurities and give you a final score but also detect any impurities and give you a final score
based on overall chemical makeup. based on overall chemical makeup.
[ Inhales ] [ Bubbling ] [ Inhales ] [ Bubbling ]
Yep.
That's good shit.
Now let me test the levels in your organic house blend. Now let me test the levels in your organic house blend. Now let me test the levels in your organic house blend.
[ Inhales ] [ Bubbling ]
Yep. That's good shit. Yep. That's good shit.
Now what about the Tegridy Jungle Bud? Now what about the Tegridy Jungle Bud?
Let's test it out.
[ Inhales ] [ Bubbling ] [ Inhales ] [ Bubbling ]
Whoa.
Yeah?
Whoa. Yeeeah?! Whoa. Yeeeah?!
I don't know what tegridy is,
but that is some good shit! but that is some good shit!
All right!
♪ Five, five dollar ♪ ♪ Five, five dollar ♪
♪ Five-dollar footlooong ♪ ♪ Five-dollar footlooong ♪
[ Door rattles ]
Butters?! Butters?!
Why'd you punch me, Eric?!
I had to!
I thought we were partners! I thought we were partners!
Butters, next time when Kyle walks up to you
and says "Are you selling vape stuff,"
You say, "No, I am not, Kyle." You say, "No, I am not, Kyle."
You punched me in the face!
Butters, we have to be extra cautious right now Butters, we have to be extra cautious right now
or else we're -- hang on, hang on --
[ Groans ] [ Groans ]
[ Strains ] Hang on.
Hang on. Hang on.
[ Splash ] [ Sighs ]
Okay, we have to be extra cautious, Butters.
The whole operation is in a period of transition. The whole operation is in a period of transition.
[ Toilet flushes ] What's that supposed to mean?!
In case you haven't noticed, we're falling behind. In case you haven't noticed, we're falling behind.
We haven't sold enough product to pay off our overhead.
The people I bought from are on my ass! The people I bought from are on my ass!
Everything costs money, Butters.
The pens, the juice, even that jacket I got you.
We can't start getting sloppy now. We can't start getting sloppy now.
Do you understand?
Well, I don't know how this means
you can go and punch me in the face -- you can go and punch me in the face --
Everything will make sense, Butters, I told you.
Just stick with the plan, okay? Just stick with the plan, okay?
Did you know that vaping is way healthier
than smoking cigarettes? than smoking cigarettes?
♪♪ ♪♪
All right, everyone!
Who's ready for some farm-to-table supper?! Who's ready for some farm-to-table supper?!
We've got some hemp milk here...
hemp-oil and vinegar bruschetta... hemp-oil and vinegar bruschetta...
some hemp seed tabouli.
And guess what the napkins are made from? And guess what the napkins are made from?
[ Horn honks ]
Oh, wonder who that could be. Oh, wonder who that could be.
Howdy. What can I do ya for? Howdy. What can I do ya for?
Is this Tegridy Farms?
Yeah, name's right there on the sign. Yeah, name's right there on the sign.
Our company is interested in your product. Our company is interested in your product.
We'd like to do some business with you.
Really?! Hey, that'd be great! Really?! Hey, that'd be great!
What kind of company --
We're one of the top vape companies We're one of the top vape companies
in the state.
We'd like to add your product to our line.
[ Chuckles ] Oh, no. Sorry. [ Chuckles ] Oh, no. Sorry.
I don't want my Tegridy Bud put in those pussy sticks. I don't want my Tegridy Bud put in those pussy sticks.
Pussy sticks?
Yeah, you know -- Yeah, you know --
penis pen, wussy vape, lady joints.
Not on my farm, no sirree. Not on my farm, no sirree.
You got a problem with vaping?!
It's cleaner and healthier than traditional smoking! It's cleaner and healthier than traditional smoking!
That's nice.
Now, hows about you take that pussy stick Now, hows about you take that pussy stick
and get off my farm before I shove it up your ass
and you're blowing mist out your butthole.
All right. All right.
You can be a part of progress
or you can get run over by it. or you can get run over by it.
Yeah, whatever.
All you're doin' is blowin' smoke --
Sorry, "fruity steam." Pussy. Sorry, "fruity steam." Pussy.
What happened to your accent?
Go vape some more, ya fuckin' puss. Go vape some more, ya fuckin' puss.
You'll be sorry! You'll be sorry!
♪♪ ♪♪
I need to speak with the principal.
Okay. What is it regarding?
I'd rather just talk to him. I'd rather just talk to him.
Right through there, you're second in line. Right through there, you're second in line.
-Oh, hey, Kyle. -Hi, Kyle!
What are you up to? What are you up to?
You know what I'm up to.
Okay, cool. But come check this out. Okay, cool. But come check this out.
This is really cool -- Don't touch me.
Just come -- No, just come see. D-D-Don't touch me.
This is really cool This is really cool
You know, Kyle, people all need a way to relax. You know, Kyle, people all need a way to relax.
And there's no proof that vaping is that bad for you.
You're selling it to kindergartners! You're selling it to kindergartners!
Kindergartners need a break, too, Kyle!
Butters: You know they took away their nap time. Butters: You know they took away their nap time.
You're such penises. Would you rather
the kindergartners smoke cigarettes? the kindergartners smoke cigarettes?
Would you rather they drank?! That's not good!
Kyle! Kyle, Kyle! Okay, okay!
Just please listen, all right? Just please listen, all right?
The truth is... we want out.
Butters and I thought we could just make some easy money. Butters and I thought we could just make some easy money.
but you gotta pay off the sixth graders,
then you gotta pay off the recess monitor
to look the other way. to look the other way.
We're in deep, Kyle.
Just let us sell enough to get out of debt,
And we will stop, I swear it. And we will stop, I swear it.
You're so full of shit.
Come on, Kyle. We all make mistakes.
Did you already forget last week?
You know... You know...
Ronan Farrow was here asking about you.
Ronan Farrow? No, he wasn't. Ronan Farrow? No, he wasn't.
Yes, Kyle. He was right over there!
Just, please, give us two days Just, please, give us two days
to make back the money we need to get out from under this,
and we will stop.
You have my word. You have my word.
Fine. But no more pushing it on little kids, you got that?
Okay. I'll focus my marketing another direction. Okay. I'll focus my marketing another direction.
Thank you, Kyle. Thank you, Kyle.
[ Engine shuts off ]
What ya doin', Joe? What ya doin', Joe?
Oh, hey, Randy! We, uh, we sold the farm.
Just like that, huh? Just like that, huh?
You gonna let those people with pussy sticks
take over everything? take over everything?
Yeah. They paid us great!
My wife and I are gonna move to Maui! My wife and I are gonna move to Maui!
Oh.
Well, I hope you didn't pack your tegridy. Well, I hope you didn't pack your tegridy.
'Cause clearly... your tegridy ain't goin'. 'Cause clearly... your tegridy ain't goin'.
[ Door creaks ]
Are you still here? Are you still here?
I-I didn't know chickens wore suspenders. I-I didn't know chickens wore suspenders.
Agh.
♪♪ ♪♪
[ Exaggerated yawn ] Man, am I feeling tired! [ Exaggerated yawn ] Man, am I feeling tired!
All this hard work at school? All this hard work at school?
Yeah! I wish I had a little pick-me-up!
Something fresh and fruity to go with my lunch! Something fresh and fruity to go with my lunch!
Just stop. It's so obvious what you guys are doing. Just stop. It's so obvious what you guys are doing.
It sounds so great right now!
Can anyone help with some fun, fruity flavors? Can anyone help with some fun, fruity flavors?
[ Rumbling, cement crumbling ]
Oh, yeah!
Hey, guys, it's the Vaping Man!
What are you doing here, Vaping Man? What are you doing here, Vaping Man?
I'm here to offer my fun, fruity flavors I'm here to offer my fun, fruity flavors
in a refreshing mist.
Vaping? Hey, that's bad for you.
Vaping's only for cool kids. Vaping's only for cool kids.
Can I talk to you for a second? Can I talk to you for a second?
Sure, Kyle. What is this about?
Can I talk to you over here? Can I talk to you over here?
Well, of course.
What did I say about pushing it on little kids? What did I say about pushing it on little kids?
How is this pushing it on little kids, Kyle?
Fun, fruity Vaping Man?! Fun, fruity Vaping Man?!
It's marketing!
Kyle, we have to make the money to pay off our dealer.
How else are we supposed to do it? How else are we supposed to do it?
All right, how much do you owe the dealer?
Why? How much? Why? How much?
Isn't this great, Stan? Isn't this great, Stan?
Living off the land.
No, it sucks. I hate this.
I wanna go back home. I wanna go back home.
Well, you see that? We're talkin' now.
When was the last time we really talked like this? When was the last time we really talked like this?
I hate you so much.
I think we're having a breakthrough moment. I think we're having a breakthrough moment.
I want to give you something, son. I want to give you something, son.
Something I made that I want you to have.
It's a hemp hat. No. It's a hemp hat. No.
Come on. Let's just see how it fits.
Please, no. Please, no.
Here just -- just look. Just try it.
[ Spin Doctors' "Two Princes" plays ] ♪ One, two princes kneel before you ♪ [ Spin Doctors' "Two Princes" plays ] ♪ One, two princes kneel before you ♪
♪ One, two ♪ Whoa. ♪ One, two ♪ Whoa.
♪ Princes kneel before you ♪
♪ That's what I said, now ♪ ♪ That's what I said, now ♪
♪ Princes ♪
[ Indistinct conversations ] [ Indistinct conversations ]
[ Cash register dings ] There you go,
and thanks for shopping at Big Vape. and thanks for shopping at Big Vape.
[ Door buzzes, doorbell jingles ] [ Door buzzes, doorbell jingles ]
Cartman: That's him.
That's my guy.
There you are. You got my money? There you are. You got my money?
Kyle.
Look, my friend is very stupid Look, my friend is very stupid
and should have never gone into business with you.
Who are you? Who are you?
I'm just seeing if I can help settle things.
You probably don't realize it,
but vaping is a really big problem at our school. but vaping is a really big problem at our school.
Look, I'm just filling a job
that somebody else would fill, all right? that somebody else would fill, all right?
Okay, look, this is the money I've saved up
from my past three birthdays.
Can we call this even and end it? Can we call this even and end it?
Aw, come on, man.
I don't want to take your birthday money.
Whoa. Hey, dude. Whoa. Hey, dude.
Why is there a dead hooker next to you?
What? What? What? What?
Dude, that is a dead hooker. What are you doing with it?
I'm calling the cops!
You just put that dead hooker there. You just put that dead hooker there.
Cartman, what are you doing?
There's a dead hooker at the vape store!
There! There!
Ow! Oh, shit!
[ Siren wails ] Get the vaporizers and the cash!
Get the cash, Kyle! Get the cash, Kyle!
W-What -- What are you doing?
Just get the -- Oh, shit! Ronan Farrow! What?!
Cartman get the stuff and the cash! Cartman get the stuff and the cash!
Ronan Farrow, Kyle! We got to get out of here!
Bless us, Lord, and our little cannabis farm. Bless us, Lord, and our little cannabis farm.
And may we always keep our tegridy.
Amen. Amen.
So, how was everyone's day?
Uh, well, not great. Uh, well, not great.
Uh, Stan got caught with a vaping pen.
With a what?!
You know, those little
pen and cartridge things with the mist? pen and cartridge things with the mist?
Stan had a vape pen?
You had a fucking vaping-- Get up to your room right now! You had a fucking vaping-- Get up to your room right now!
Way to underreact, Sharon! Way to underreact, Sharon!
Where did you get this? Where did you get this?
It's not mine. I took it from a kindergartner.
Yeah, right. Yeah, right.
My own son using a pussy stick.
Don't you know what these things are doing to our way of life? Don't you know what these things are doing to our way of life?
I've had enough!
What are you gonna do? What are you gonna do?
You think I'm just gonna stand around
while they destroy my family? while they destroy my family?
We've worked this farm and this land
for over four days. for over four days.
I'm not about to let some vape queens
take it all away from us. take it all away from us.
[ Knock on door ] [ Knock on door ]
Oh, hello, Kyle! Oh, hello, Kyle!
Mr. Mackey, I need to talk to you
about some things going on at school.
M'kay. Like what? M'kay. Like what?
Oh, hi, Kyle!
Hey, Kyle! Hey, Kyle!
We were just talking to the counselor
about some college opportunities. about some college opportunities.
What are you doing here?
You know what I'm doing here!
Okay, well, we really should talk first, Kyle. No. Okay, well, we really should talk first, Kyle. No.
Mr. Mackey, there's a big operation going on at the school.
Kyle, things have changed. You need to listen. Kyle, things have changed. You need to listen.
Things are getting out of control... Kyle, Kyle, just one minute. You want to hear this.
...and you need to know what's going on! You need to hear this!
What?! We'll be right back, Mr. Mackey. What?! We'll be right back, Mr. Mackey.
M'kay!
Let go of me! Let go of me!
Kyle, listen. It's bad.
What's bad?
The guy we tried to frame at the vape shop. The guy we tried to frame at the vape shop.
He was the one who the sixth graders got their shit from.
The sixth graders are pissed at us, Kyle. The sixth graders are pissed at us, Kyle.
We have to break into the vape shop
and steal enough stuff to make the sixth graders happy.
You guys decided to beat up the dealer. You guys decided to beat up the dealer.
Yeah, but the sixth graders know you were there! How? Yeah, but the sixth graders know you were there! How?
'Cause Eric told them!
We are all in this together, Kyle!
We got to rob the vape shop, We got to rob the vape shop,
and then we can put this all behind us.
Please, Kyle, we still got to pay people off. Please, Kyle, we still got to pay people off.
[ Rumbling ]
Oh, yeah!
Hey, bitches! Where's my mother fuckin' money?
Run! Aah! Run! Aah!
[ Robert Tepper's "No Easy Way Out" plays ] [ Robert Tepper's "No Easy Way Out" plays ]
♪♪ ♪♪
♪ We're not indestructible ♪ ♪ We're not indestructible ♪
♪ Baby, better get that straight ♪ ♪ Baby, better get that straight ♪
♪ I think it's unbelievable ♪ ♪ I think it's unbelievable ♪
♪ How you give in to the hands of fate ♪ ♪ How you give in to the hands of fate ♪
[ "Two Princes" plays ] ♪ One, two, princes kneel before you ♪ [ "Two Princes" plays ] ♪ One, two, princes kneel before you ♪
♪ That's what I said ♪
[ Music stops, crickets chirping ] [ Music stops, crickets chirping ]
Randy, where are you going?
Gonna go fight for my children's future. Gonna go fight for my children's future.
[ Tractor engine rumbling ] [ Tractor engine rumbling ]
[ Engine shuts off ] [ Engine shuts off ]
[ Indistinct conversations ]
All right, you bunch of vape-smoking pussies. All right, you bunch of vape-smoking pussies.
[ Conversations stop ] [ Conversations stop ]
You try and take my way of life?
Time to show you some tegridy. Time to show you some tegridy.
Tegridy? What's tegridy?
[ "Two Princes" resumes ] Yeah! [ "Two Princes" resumes ] Yeah!
Ow!
Ouch! Hey! Ouch! Hey!
Hyah! Hyah!
Owie! Owie!
Get your stupid mist out of my fucking face! Get your stupid mist out of my fucking face!
Hey! I like to vape.
You think I'm a pussy? You think I'm a pussy?
Yup.
Ow! Ow!
Wow. You're so smart to think of a siphon, Kyle! Wow. You're so smart to think of a siphon, Kyle!
Just shut up and keep pumping.
What are you kids doing? What are you kids doing?
Aw, shit! Aw, shit!
You little hoodlums break in through the window?
I ought to break your little legs!
I don't think so. I don't think so.
Mr. Marsh.
Just what the Sam hell you boys doing here? Just what the Sam hell you boys doing here?
All right, listen.
I should have talked to an adult from the beginning. I should have talked to an adult from the beginning.
Kyle, what are you doing?
There are these three big vaping syndicates at our school, There are these three big vaping syndicates at our school,
and these guys are one of them. Kyle, no, no, no, no.
They had someone buying stuff from here for them,
and then they sold it to kids. and then they sold it to kids.
Okay, Kyle, I'm calling Ronan Farrow.
The sixth graders, these guys, and Becky Thompson The sixth graders, these guys, and Becky Thompson
are all at each other for control of the playground.
Hello, Ronan? Eric Cartman. Yeah, hey. Hello, Ronan? Eric Cartman. Yeah, hey.
I was going to tell an adult, but these guys said they'd stop.
So, you know Kyle? Yeah, well, you're right about him. So, you know Kyle? Yeah, well, you're right about him.
It's good you came clean, son.
It shows that you've got -- It shows that you've got --
[ Slow-mo scream ]
Didn't your mommy teach you
it doesn't pay to mess with progress? it doesn't pay to mess with progress?
Yeah. She taught me somethin' else, too. Yeah. She taught me somethin' else, too.
If you're gonna fight for your tegridy,
don't forget to bring a towel. don't forget to bring a towel.
Vape on this, bitch! Vape on this, bitch!
[ Muffled screams ]
Yeah! [ Grunting ] Yeah! [ Grunting ]
Take that, stupid vaping!
[ Body thuds ]
[ Valves squeak, mist hisses ] [ Valves squeak, mist hisses ]
Move it, boys! Come on! Go, go, go! Move it, boys! Come on! Go, go, go!
[ Rumbling ]
[ Mist hisses ] [ Mist hisses ]
[ People screaming ]
[ Glass shatters ]
[ Explosion ]
Does this mean we're out of the vaping business, fellas?
[ Soft guitar music plays ] [ Soft guitar music plays ]
♪ It's in you ♪ ♪ It's in you ♪
♪ It's in me ♪
♪ A little somethin' called Tegridy ♪ ♪ A little somethin' called Tegridy ♪
Well, shit.
Looks like we made it to another sunrise. Looks like we made it to another sunrise.
Oh, God. This is just gonna get worse, isn't it?
Yup, son. I think the fight's just startin'. Yup, son. I think the fight's just startin'.
Farmers like us are under attack. Farmers like us are under attack.
Yupper. We gots a lot of work to do. Yupper. We gots a lot of work to do.
We can't let 'em take what makes us special.
Tegridy Weed from Tegridy Farms. Tegridy Weed from Tegridy Farms. Tegridy Weed from Tegridy Farms.
Made with a little Colorado tegridy.
Comin' soon to a dispensary near you. Comin' soon to a dispensary near you.
[ Inhales ] [ Bubbling ]
Whoa.
Yeah?
Whoa. Yeeeah?! Whoa. Yeeeah?!
I don't know what tegridy is,
but that is some good shit! but that is some good shit!
All right!