# I'm goin' down to South Park #
# Gonna have myself a time #
# Friendly faces everywhere #
# Humble folks without temptation #
# I'm goin' down to South Park #
# Gonna leave my woes behind #
# Ample parking day or night #
# People spouting, "Howdy neighbor" #
# Headin' on up to South Park, gonna see if I can't unwind #
# #
# Come on down to South Park and meet some friends of mine #
Hey, Token. What's up, bro?
- Nothing. - Nothing. Me neither.
Nothing's going on. Sucks.
Everything good with you?
- Yeah. - Sweet.
Hey, Jimmy, what are you doing?
I'm just getting ready for classes-
- Yeah, I'm just hanging out with Token.
Did you know if it wasn't for African-Americans,
we wouldn't have rock and roll?
So cool that we have a black president.
It's about time.
- Is he doing it again? - He's doing it again.
Dude, um, what are you doing after school, Token?
You wanna- you wanna hang out?
I, uh, have band practice.
God, you are so cool.
All right, bro. I'll catch you at recess.
Fist bump. Fist bump, bro.
Cartman, are you feeling all right?
Yeah, I feel great. Why?
You think something's wrong?
All right, now, the French Revolution
was basically started by a young man named Marius,
who only new Jean Valjean as an older man-
- No!
The French Government, at the time,
was led by Javert who was trying-
- No! No!
No, stop! Token, stop!
My brains- stop eating my brains!
Brad Pitt, aah!
Hey, Token. What's up, bro?
Fist bump?
Eric, something is clearly wrong, mkay?
And it would best to just get it out in the open.
It's Token.
I think he's a ticking time bomb.
Why do you think Token is a ticking time bomb?
He's pissed off
because of something that happened
a long time ago, but he won't forget.
You think he blames you for something?
But it wasn't me. It wasn't my fault.
Well, have you thought about maybe
writing your feelings down in a poem?
Write a poem and give that- give that to Token?
No, it's too gay. It would only make things worse.
Well, Eric, you need to do something
because you keep losing sleep, mkay?
And sleep is very important to your success at school.
Mkay?
Mkay. I'll be mkay.
Mkay, are you sure? Because I'm here if you need me.
Mkay.
No, Token! Leave Brat Pitt alone.
Brad Pitt fighting zombies! No, Token! Token!
Eat your breakfast, girls.
Where's Daddy?
You can eat without your father in the room, now hurry.
Daddy!
Good morning, girls. Save Daddy any pancakes?
Look at that, 6:00 A.M.,
and my family is already smiling.
How did I get such a perfect husband?
How did I get such a beautiful wife?
I love you, Dad.
Love you too, princess. I love both of you equally.
Nothing can ever go wrong so long as we all have each other.
Today apparently will be the day.
CNN has just received word that a verdict
in the George Zimmerman trial
is expected to come at any moment.
Zimmerman is accused of shooting Trayvon Martin,
and a jury will now decide his fate.
Daddy, who is Trayvon Martin?
Nobody.
Let's just get you girls to school.
Is it bigger than a bread box?
What's a bread box, Dad?
Daddy's so cool.
You can say that again.
Why aren't we moving? What's going on?
# Hey, hey, hey, it's a beautiful day #
# And I can't stop myself from smil-#
We interrupt this cool song for a news bulletin.
A verdict has just been handed down
in the case of George Zimmerman.
In a shocking turn of events,
the jury has found Zimmerman not guilty.
Oh, my God.
Many African-Americans are outraged by the verdict,
and they are most likely about to go totally 'nanas.
Ahh!
Fuck you, Brad Pitt.
No! No!
Everyone get out of the car, go!
Oh, my God, run!
Ahh!
Token, no.
Token, we had nothing to do with it.
I know you're pissed off, Token, but be reasonable.
Fuck you, Brad Pitt.
No, no, no! Agh!
Ah.
Hey, Token, how you doing?
- I'm good. - That's awesome.
I'm so stoked that we're best friends.
Fist bump.
No! My wife, Token!
Token, that's my wife!
Okay, really?
No, Token. Stop eating my daughter, no!
Now, Eric, whatever it is you and Token are going through,
you need to talk through it, mkay?
The problems you two are having
have become a distraction for everybody else, agreed?
Agreed.
Okay, Token, come on in, please.
Oh, boy, here we go.
Token, I've been talking with Eric,
and he's really upset that you two aren't getting along.
You have some things you want to say, Eric?
Token, I wasn't on that jury, okay?
What jury?
This grudge that you're holding
against an entire group of people
should be directed at just a few, not at me.
Okay, Token, what are your feelings about that?
I don't know what to say.
I wrote a poem. Is it okay if I read my poem?
It's called "I Was Not the Bullet."
"I was not the bullet. I was not the gun.
"I was not the juror that set the shooter free.
"I was not the trigger. I was not the hate.
"Nor was I the judge, but still you judge me.
"I was not the black family mourning for the death.
"'Ooh, somebody shot our children.
"Lordy, what we do now?'
And I was not the verdict."
This isn't a poem, it doesn't even rhyme.
It's going to rhyme, Token, just hold on.
"I was not the shooter. I was not the gun.
So, Token, you should be cool while we're all here at school."
Can I go back to class now?
Eric, do you feel better about all this?
Yeah. Yeah, I do.
I think we really had a breakthrough here.
Okay, thanks, Token.
It's going to be okay. I think we're all safe now.
We are cows, proud and true!
Come on, South Park, moo, moo, moo!
Go, Cows!
Okay, thank you, cheerleaders.
That was very nice.
Next, we have a student who would like to perform
an original rap song
based on his award-winning poem
"I Was Not the Bullet,"
with backup music by Butters Stotch.
# Black or white, it's all right #
# Black or white, let's not fight #
# I was not the bullet, I was not the gun #
# I was not the jury, so don't blame me, son #
# Zimmerman was wrong # Not our fault!
- # Zimmerman was wrong # - It's not Eric's fault!
# Black or white, it's all right #
# Black or white, let's not fight #
White people say, "Ho!"
Ho.
Black people say, "Hey!"
White people say, "Ho, ho." Ho, ho.
Black people say, "Hey, hey, hey."
Uh-oh, I think the white people are winning.
White people got you beat, black people.
You better represent.
Let me hear you say, "I don't blame the white people,
no, no, no."
All right, that's enough!
You think I should feel bad for you
because of the Trayvon Martin verdict?
Token, calm down.
What the hell is wrong with you?
Why are you all sitting here listening to this?
Oh, God, here it comes!
Get down, everybody, get down now!
Clear the streets! Everyone clear the streets!
We got to get the fuck out of here!
Mom, it's starting. We gotta go!
Come on, come on!
# #
Come on, we got to move! It's spreading, let's go!
Does that little boy have a gun?
- Get inside. - But-
- Get inside!
Drive! You gotta drive now!
What's going on?
- Get to an airport! - An airport? But-
- Lady, we've got about ten minutes
before this entire country is up in flames.
If you wanna live, you better step on the gas.
Oh, wait, is this a Tesla? Shit!
Well, step on the prissy pedal. We're gonna die!
Now calling rows 10 through 30 for boarding.
The outbreak has started!
We gotta get the fuck out of here!
- An outbreak? - Which one?
Get on the plane! Let's move!
Let's go, go, go, go!
Oh, my God!
My God, what's going on out there?
The outbreak's starting. Fly the plane now!
Maybe now you can tell us what the hell is going on.
The end of the world.
We've got one shot and one shot only,
and that's to find a place where the contagion can't reach us.
What contagion? My wife didn't get on the plane.
Take this plane back to Denver!
You don't understand.
There's no Denver left to go back to.
All right, what the hell is going on here?
We don't know anything.
First, it was talk of a hijacking,
then reports of an outbreak of some kind.
Confirmed reports of panic in a rural town
in the Colorado Rockies.
Sir, the pilot of flight 82 wants an update.
They're asking permission to land.
Stall them.
I don't want that plane landing anywhere
until we know what the hell we're dealing with.
Sir, you better look at this.
This was found in the airport lavatory.
It seems to be a survival guide of some kind.
Survival of what?
From the looks of it,
a contagion outbreak of the worst kind.
Oh, my God.
DA43 to tower. Please advise!
Damn it! They aren't telling me anything.
- You think it's a virus? - Virus, bacteria-
Either way, we're all dead.
Find out if he thinks it's safe to land in Los Angeles.
What about Los Angeles?
Can we take the plane to Los Angeles?
Not a chance.
By now, most of the urban cities will be compromised.
This whole thing spreads from city to city.
We need to go somewhere the spread won't take hold,
like Iceland.
This plane won't make it to Iceland.
You got a better idea, asshole?
Everyone quiet!
I have to think. Yes, let him think!
I can't think here. I need a magazine and a toilet.
- Oh! I'm just finishing up. - Agh!
Hey!
- One of them is in the back. - What?
- What do you mean? - Everyone just calm down.
We have to stay in control!
Ah! Ah!
I won't become one of them! Aghh!
Yah!
Shoot it!
# Engine, engine, number nine, running down Chicago line #
# If the train should jump the track,
# Do you want your money back? #
- Yes. - # Y-e-s spells "yes" #
Aghh!
Now, Token, what you need to understand, mkay,
is that a school assembly is not the time and place
to be yelling and causing distractions, mkay?
If there's somebody causing you problems,
then we don't disrupt the assembly.
Mkay, you come and you talk to me.
He's just out looking for trouble.
Well, that's your side of it, Token,
but, you know, Eric has his side as well.
Have you thought about maybe writing him a poem?
Mkay, write Eric a poem, tell him how you feel?
No? Mkay.
Well, I'm telling you, Token,
you let it go, and he'll let it go,
and it'll all be fine, mkay?
# #
No, the plane crashed!
We're in the Colorado mountains somewhere.
Matt? Matt!
My husband-he said the outbreak was all over the news,
but everything was totally fine where he was.
Totally fine? Then it hasn't happened yet.
Oh, my God, we still have time.
Help! Help me!
Please, I have two little girls in Chicago.
Please, find them!
It's okay.
We have reason to believe it hasn't spread yet.
Then you have to stop it.
Yes!
There must be a patient zero-
the person it all starts from.
His name is Token.
We have to kill him before he infects everyone else!
I won't do it! He used to be my friend.
You have to! You have to be strong.
If you can stop this, if you can save the world,
then you have to do it.
Promise me.
Promise...me.
All right, I promise.
I won't let the black people riots destroy the world.
Thank you- Wait. What?
Oh, my God! Oh, my God!
We're going to live through this, do you hear me?
- Yes! - Come on!
First, a wave of 911 calls about a virus,
and now, a plane has apparently gone down
in the Rocky Mountains.
Is this the beginning of the end?
Oh, boy, zombie apocalypse.
The government is looking for a patient zero,
going only off of this sketch,
which was found in a notebook at the airport.
Anyone with information regarding patient zero
is asked to contact the authorities immediately.
Holy moly!
Can I help you?
Stay by the window. Tell me if anything changes.
I need something that can shoot
with complete accuracy from a distance.
All right, you want a rifle, like this .22 caliber.
What is it you intend to shoot?
A person.
You mean a person who's threatening you?
- Threatening all of us. - Please! Please hurry.
It's important! Well, you should be fine,
so long as the person breaks into your house
and is an immediate threat to you.
What? How am I supposed to get a person
to break into my house?
You can't shoot someone who threatens you
just out on the street.
Well, unless, of course, you're in a state that has
a stand-your-ground law. Stand my ground?
Please! We're running out of time!
See, now, with a stand-your-ground law,
you can legally shoot somebody that's threatening you
whether they're in your house or not.
Yes, yes, that's what I need. I'll take that.
No, no, see, you gotta be in the state
with a stand-your-ground law, like Florida.
This is hopeless.
How am I supposed to shoot Token with all these stupid rules?
Wait a minute. I can't shoot Token.
But I can shoot anyone I want in Florida?
So long as they're threatening you.
What? What is it, please?
Hurry! My husband might still be alive!
The other way to stop the outbreak.
Token isn't the only patient zero.
The outbreak won't happen if we shoot George Zimmerman.
We have to get to Florida!
Let's go, let's go!
Let's move, move, move, move! Let's go!
Find the closest airport in Florida.
This plane is going to Baltimore.
If we don't get to Florida, there's not going to be
a Baltimore left!
Black guy in the back!
All right. Now, let's find Zimmerman.
Put this on.
We have to stay hidden from here out.
What are we going to do?
I'm going to flush out patient zero,
and you're going to shoot him. It's the only way.
What if he attacks us first?
Don't worry, nobody can see us wearing black.
I haven't had the time to thank you
for doing what you-
Eat your breakfast, girls.
Where's Daddy?
You can eat without your father in the room, now hurry.
Daddy!
Good morning, girls. Save Daddy any pancakes?
Look at that, 6:00 A.M.,
and my family's already smiling.
How did I get such a perfect husband, George Zimmerman?
And how did I get such a beautiful wife?
I love you, Dad.
Love you too, princess. I love both of you equally.
Nothing can ever go wrong, so long as we all have each other.
Is there any hope for stopping the zombie apocalypse?
CNN has just received word
that the government has learned the identity of patient zero.
The nine-year-old threat to humanity
has been tracked down,
and measures are being taken to stop him.
Daddy, what's a patient zero?
Hello, Mr. Zimmerman. Your country needs you.
What do you need from me?
We...
need you to shoot a young African-American for us.
I gave that up.
You're the best, Zimmerman.
We just need you to do it one more time
for the security of the world.
Damn it, I have a wife and kids now.
Then do it for your family.
This is about protecting people, Zimmerman,
keeping our streets safe...
So that our children are free to go out and smell the flowers.
Something's wrong.
Look out!
My God, I didn't even see him.
Nice work, Zimmerman.
- Are you guys okay? - What was that, Daddy?
More needless violence.
Nonsense, you did what you had to.
You're a hero.
That may be true,
but I'll have to live with this the rest of my life.
Even though I'll be walking around a free man.
Hey, wait a minute, this kid isn't black-he's white.
Wait. What?
Guilty!
Bahhh!
Bahhhh!
Bah! Bah! Bah!
Bahhhh!
The zombie apocalypse is over.
All the panic, crashing planes, and chaos
appear to have, for some reason,
died with George Zimmerman.
And as for the little boy
who was so mercilessly gunned down,
although he survived the shooting,
his wishes are to remain anonymous,
giving the hospital only the nickname "Brad Pitt...
but cooler."
That sure wasn't much of a zombie apocalypse.
Yeah, that sucked.
Well, at least I'll bet Token's glad it's over with.
Aren't you, Token?
Hey, Token. 'Sup, bro?
How's it going, dude? I know how it feels now.
You made everyone think I'm a fucking patient zero.
- Dude, I'm saying I'm sorry. - So what?
Uh-oh.
Sound like you're still angry, Token.
- Fuck you. - All right, Token, come on.
This is ridiculous.
I know you totally want to kick my ass right now.
You'd like to walk right up and punch me in the face,
but what's that gonna solve?
I've got a way better idea.
Fist bump?
Come on, dude, fist bump.
Bump that shit, bro. Be the bigger person.
That was- he was on my ground.
You all saw that, right?
Everything inside the red line is mine.
Inside the red line- that's my ground.
He was on it.
# It's a beautiful day #
# And I can't stop myself from smiling #
# If we're drinking, then I'm buying #
# And I know there's no denying #
Daddy!
# It's a beautiful day, the sun... #
You're safe, girls. Daddy did it.
Ah! Aghh!
Ah! Oh, man.
The ending to that movie was so terrible.
You're having nightmares about the ending
to World War Z again? Yeah. So bad.
That's what's bothering you?
Not the fact that you're a murderer?
Jury found me innocent, Kyle.
You're a murderer.
You interrupt people when they talk.
Eric Cartman to the counselor's office, please.
Oh, man.
Oh, boy.
Have a seat, Eric.
Now, boys, I, for one, am sick and tired
of this little feud you're having, mkay?
This has clearly gone too far,
and you owe each other an apology,
or you're getting detention!
An apology? He shot me!
Well, he was technically standing his ground, Token.
Yeah, Token, that's the law.
Everything inside the red line is lava.
Well, it's a pretty fucking stupid law!
Token, calm down.
And why does standing your ground
not apply to fucking white people?
Oh, God, here we go again!