I'm going down to South Park Gonna have myself a time
Friendly faces everywhere Humble folks without temptation
Going down to South Park Gonna leave my woes behind
Ample parking day or night People spouting, "Howdy, neighbour"
Heading on up to South Park Gonna see if I can't unwind
Come on down to South Park And meet some friends of mine
I know that people are going to say,
"You should only practise it this way or that way. "
I believe in capitalism, too. I believe in capitalism for everybody.
No, what he said, which I find mildly amazing,
was that he thought I would have a hard time debating Barack Obama.
We faced something much, much greater after World War II.
We had 10 million came home all at once.
But what did we do then?
There were some of the liberals back then that said,
"We have to have more work programs. "
- Tango, Tango, I'm in position. - Copy, Tango. Clear vantage point?
It'll have to do. We're not getting any closer.
All right, Butters, bring it in.
Equipment is flying in. Ten seconds.
Copy that. Ten seconds, Cartman.
I can hear, Kyle. Just tell me when to go.
- We might have a problem. - What's that?
We just got word somebody might try to Faith Hill this event.
Lock down the whole perimeter. Nobody's Faith Hilling.
Not on my watch.
I think they're on to us, guys. Let's do this.
I got it.
Hey! Somebody's under the stage!
Go, Cartman!
- We got it! We got it! - Go. Go. Go. Go.
That was sweet, you guys!
First there was Planking.
People taking pictures of themselves in a plank position
and putting the photos on the Internet.
Planking was soon replaced by Owling.
And after the Super Bowl, by Bradying.
But the newest meme involves pulling the shirt out to look like boobs.
It's called "Faith Hilling. "
And all around the world, people are doing it.
Kids, adults, even some notable celebrities are getting into the act.
But as Faith Hilling becomes more and more popular,
the question on everyone's mind,
"Who will be the first to die doing it?"
I've been sent here because you children are playing with fire!
Faith Hilling is nothing more than an evolution of Bradying.
From football quarterback to football singer.
Please. Bradying is so 2000 and late.
I know you all think what you're doing is "new" and "hip" and "cool."
But the truth is memeing has been around a long time.
We're gonna watch a filmstrip now that's a little dated,
but I think it gets the point across.
For many young people today, taking pictures in silly poses
has become a dangerous pastime.
The latest meme has also become the most deadly.
It's called Tebowing.
This is Ryan and Barkley.
They're about to learn just how dangerous Tebowing can be.
Hey, here's a good place. I'll do it right here.
I don't know, Ryan. You sure this is a good idea?
Stop being a scaredy-cat. It'll just take a second.
- How could I get hurt? - Okay. Hold still.
What's that?
A train!
Ryan!
No. No. No!
No. No. No. No. No!
- Ryan! - Learn from me.
This sure is a nice car, Tommy.
Would you like to get a picture of me Tebowing in it?
Sure.
What is that?
- Oh, my God. It's coming! - God no!
- No! - Tommy. Did you get the picture?
- Oh no, wait. Hold on. - Hurry. Hurry!
- Be careful up there, Pete! - Just go on and take the picture!
These youths paid with their lives for Tebowing.
When they posed for pictures,
they should have remembered there are only three approved memes.
Peace Sign, Bunny Ears, Fake Wiener.
Maybe you think this doesn't apply to you.
Maybe you think your memes are safe.
Or maybe you're all watching this sometime in the future,
and Tebowing has been replaced by some other meme.
Well, if you are watching this in the future...
Just remember.
Use the approved poses if you wanna be a meme-er
Peace Sign. Bunny Ears. Fake Wiener
- God, that was boring. - So what do you guys want to do now?
Well, there's that nice French cafe downtown.
Maybe we should get some Faith Hilling pictures there.
- That's a good idea. - What!
You mean you guys still plan on Faith Hilling? After what we just saw?
Butters, Faith Hilling defines our generation.
Well, count me out!
You're gonna give up on Faith Hilling just like that, Butters? How could you?
Well, I'm scared.
Hey, did you guys see today's newspaper?
Why would we look at a newspaper, retard?
- You guys made the front page. - Really?
- Dude! We are on the front page! - Yes!
Can we get the Denver Post, please?
What's it say? What's it say?
Oh, no.
It says Faith Hilling is now all, like, 2000 and late.
What? Let me see that!
How can that be? Already?
"Public reaction was that the stunt
"pulled off by five elementary school students
"was not only dangerous and disruptive, but also completely passé."
How can we be passé? We're only in fourth grade!
"'Faith Hilling is pretty stale,' said Republican candidate Newt Gringrich,
"'If they had crashed the debate by Taylor Swifting,
"'that would have been impressive. "'
Taylor Swifting? The fuck is that?
That's all it is?
You pull down your pants and wipe your butt along the ground like an old dog.
But that's stupid!
How can that replace Faith Hilling? It doesn't even make any sense!
I can't believe people take the time to do this garbage.
This has to be stopped, you guys.
Okay, hold it there! Okay. That's good. Don't move!
How's this, Kyle? This good?
- Yeah, that's great. - Cool, these will be good uploads.
Hey, what are you doing?
Faith Hilling, why don't you get the fuck out of here?
Oh, God. Faith Hilling is so February 2012!
Saying something is so "2000 and anything"
is so 2009, you stupid ass-wipe.
Come on, guys, it's not worth it.
We can do our Taylor Swifting somewhere else.
- Knock it off! - Why don't you make me?
Yesterday afternoon, four kids went to the hospital
for injuries resulting from memeing in front of a local café.
Faith Hilling, Taylor Swifting, these are things that are gonna get you killed!
That's a loaded.38.
How many of you think it's a smart idea
to put a loaded.38 on a nine-year-old's desk?
Well, if safety doesn't matter to you, go ahead, pick the gun up!
- That's okay, I think... - Pick the gun up!
You might as well. Swifting and Hilling is like playing with a loaded gun!
Do you all understand my point?
- Yes, sir. - Yes, sir.
Good. Now put the gun in your mouth.
Hey, you're following plankers and Tebowers,
so put a loaded gun in your mouth! Do it!
Everybody take a good look.
This is what you're doing every time you play with Internet memes.
You are playing roulette with your fucking life!
Professor Lamont? We need to talk.
I'll be right back.
You are an expert on memes, Professor Lamont?
Yes, what is this about?
We need your expertise, sir.
Have you ever heard of another species memeing on the Internet?
Another species? What are you talking about?
We're hoping perhaps you could help us understand this.
Cats have started to put pictures of themselves on the Internet
with bread around their heads.
"Cat Breading" it's called.
It's just such an odd thing to do.
We thought maybe you could explain it to us.
They're evolving. Cats are evolving.
Sorry?
There are two ways a species evolves.
Physically, from genes, and culturally, from memes.
Just like genes, memes replicate, mutate and adapt.
We're having a little trouble following you here.
Look. In the '70s there was Fonzying,
which replaced the outdated Moustaching.
In the '60s, cultural ideas were passed on by everybody Poodle Fisting.
But even that evolved from people Ass Wedging in the '40s.
Even before photographs, humans memed for portraits.
All the way back to the Egyptians,
who had pictures painted of themselves Donkey Dicking.
You're saying that now cats are showing signs of evolution
with their Cat Breading meme?
If cats are putting slices of bread on their heads and taking pictures,
they're proving to be almost as intelligent as we are.
Mr. Kitty. Do you mind explaining this?
You wanna tell me why you're putting pictures of yourself on the Internet
with bread around your face?
That is a bad kitty. Bad!
You are taking the idea of Faith Hilling and making it stupid.
Bad kitty!
Bad Mr. Kitty! Bad! Bad!
Bad kitty! No more memeing!
Come on, guys. Bad Mr. Kitty! Bad!
- Well, I'm glad we took care of that. - Yeah.
So what do you guys wanna do now?
I was thinking maybe doing some Faith Hilling
- Over at that place they do AA meetings. - That's a cool idea.
What's the matter, Kenny?
What seems pointless?
Hey! Faith Hilling is not out of style, all right?
No, no, no!
These stupid fads are only that, okay? We can't give into this crap.
Don't give up on Faith Hilling, Kenny. Don't you give up on her.
Two Boulder children died today while Oh Long Johnson-ing in a batting cage.
Oh Long Johnson-ing is of course the latest Internet meme,
which involves putting oneself in a risky situation
and then seeing how many times
you can say "Oh Long Johnson" on video,
before getting out of the way.
- You ready? You ready? - I'm recording. Go!
Oh long Johnson! Oh long Johnson!
- Oh long... - Larry!
This latest Internet meme is shocking.
But most shocking of all is that the person who started the meme
isn't a person at all, but a cat,
who seems to have no regard for people's safety.
Oh long Johnson.
The cat is now under arrest and awaiting trial
for its part in the teenager's death.
Oh long Johnson! Oh long Johnson!
Yeah, that's good! Now go back the other way!
Oh long Johnson! Oh long...
- Dude, what's going on? - Hey, guys. How's it going?
We thought you were meeting us at Cartman's.
What are you doing here, Taylor Swifting?
He's not Taylor Swifting! That's old stuff!
Yeah, now you do it while seeing
how many times you can say, "Oh long Johnson."
I thought I'd just, you know, try it out.
Guys, remember when we heard about that Pollock with one testicle
in the revolutionary war? What was his name?
Benedict Arnold.
Come on. You guys need to realise that Faith Hilling is over. Okay?
You can pretend all you want. But it's not coming back!
Kenny?
If you guys wanna keep Faith Hilling,
I'm sure people are still doing it at the old folks' home.
You'll like this, Kenny. Here, pull down your pants.
- You guys are sell-outs! - Come on, Kyle!
- You're frigging sell-outs! - It's okay, man. Come on.
What the hell do you think you're doing?
Do you have any idea that when you play around with memes,
you're playing with fire?
Oh long Johnson.
Very funny!
People are dying out there! Is that what you want?
Oh don piano.
Do you cats want a war? Because that's what you're gonna get!
Oh long Johnson.
Long ago, there was Tebowing, which evolved into Faith Hilling.
But the latest memeing craze, Swift Johnson-ing,
may now also have its rival.
A brand new meme, where people video themselves wearing trench coats
and talking about the dangers of memeing.
They call it "Reporting."
And safety officials say it's a dangerous, and potentially fatal...
Oh long Johnson! Oh long Johnson!
Yeah. Yeah, that's cool. Bring the left titty out some more.
Yeah, yeah, freeze there.
- What are those boys doing, Daddy? - I think they're Faith Hilling, Bobby.
- It's a little before your time. - How droll.
- Get a couple facing the other way, bro. - Yeah, good idea.
Hey, you kids Faith Hilling in front of my clinic?
'Cause I got a couple patients in here that could use a good time machine.
Get it?
Go back to the '90s, faggots.
- We got to face it, Cartman. - I know. I know, Kyle.
I really thought it was gonna last.
I guess the only thing that doesn't change in life
is that things change.
The sun hurts my eyes.
It wasn't like Faith Hilling was that great, I mean...
No, no. It was kind of stupid really.
It's good that it became something else.
And we'll have a blast doing the new stuff.
Household cats have evolved into a species as intelligent as humans.
Will this mean war between our two life forms?
In an attempt to try and communicate with the leader of cats,
experts have sent in the ambassador of people.
Hello.
Oh long Johnson.
Oh long John...
Long Johnson.
- Oh long Johnson. - Oh long Johnson.
- Oh don piano. - Oh don piano.
Oh don piano.
Oh long day, long day.
Oh long Johnson, don piano.
I'm not sure, but I think it said war between our species is inevitable.
That evolution cannot be stopped and the cats will rise.
It said we cannot coexist.
And then it said, "Oh don piano."
And then something about seeing the streets of human cities
run red with the blood of their children.
Okay, that's good, a little higher.
Okay, cool, I'm gonna go left to right, is that good?
- Yeah, that's awesome. - Okay, whenever you're ready.
All right, here we...
No, kitty, you gotta keep quiet. No, kitty, that's a bad kitty!
What's this?
What, have you been living under a rock?
This is the new meme, Cat Breaded Taylor Swift Reporting!
All right, go, Cartman.
Taylor Swift is dangerous! Taylor Swift is dangerous!
- That's pretty cool. - Yeah, it's cool. It's awesome.
It's super awesome.
Yeah, yeah, we got it down, you guys. I think we're ready for the big time.
Shut up, kitty!
With the inevitable species war looming,
our country's brightest leaders have come together
to debate and reason with the ambassador of cats.
It's called Puddy Whistling. And the question on everyone's mind,
"Who will be the first person to die from it?"
Well, you know I ran for president four years ago.
This was the position I described when I ran four years ago.
If you want to be an American, the first thing you should do is respect...
It's a very simple question.
- How big a scale of change... - Oh long Johnson.
- I started working with Governor... - Oh long Johnson.
- It just expanded in fact... - I helped with Jack Kemp...
- The development of supply side... - Oh long Johnson.
...the Veterans Administration. I grew up on a VA grant...
Oh don piano. Oh long Johnson.
- I have five sons, five daughters-in-law. - Oh long Johnson.
- You were wrong and you didn't... - Oh don piano.
It's not going to be the most attractive thing to go out and say,
"You know, it took me 10 or 12 years to figure out it was wrong. "
- Foxtrot standing by at position Alpha. - Copy, Foxtrot.
Let's fly in the goods, Tango.
Standing by in three seconds. Two. One. Go, Cartman!
Let's do this.
Cartman? Go Cartman.
Come on, dude, hurry.
No. No!
I won't do it. I won't do it, you hear me?
I'm better than this.
To hell with you, Mr. Kitty!
You're a bad kitty! Bad! Bad kitty!
It's time somebody stood up and did the right thing.
Yeah. Do it, Cartman.
All right, football night what do you do?
Get out your camera and a boobie or two
Wow.
Have you ever seen Faith Hilling that good?
Come on, everybody it's Faith Hilling time
Dancing, rapping, titties flapping where are you?
This is the only memeing I'll ever do
Oh long Johnson.
Is a meme I won't buy 'cause I'm Faith Hilling till the day I die
And so, in the face of war, a little boy reminds us all
what being human really means.
The message is unclear,
but it doesn't matter
as long as you give the audience a song, celebrity bashing,
and Republican hopefuls dancing around with boobies.
It's called Pandering, and all over the country people are...
Oh long Johnson!