♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Going down to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
Yeah! - All right! - Yeah!
Man, you guys are good.
Sharon, what are the boys doing?
Oh, Stan and Kyle bought a new video game together.
They can play guitar now?
No, no, they're just little plastic controllers.
You hit the colored buttons
and it makes the guitar track on the game play.
Oh.
If they spent half the time learning a real instrument
as they do playing that game
who knows what they could accomplish?
Hey, yeah.
Oh, yeah! - Yeah! - All right, all right!
Dude, listen to that video crowd!
They love us!
So you boys like this music, huh?
Yeah, dude, it's Guitar Hero.
Stan and Kyle are really good at it.
Well, you kids wanna see something really cool?
Check this out.
♪ Once I rose above the noise and confusion ♪
♪ Just to get a glimpse beyond this illusion ♪
♪ I was soaring ever higher ♪
♪ But I flew too high ♪
♪ Though my eyes could see-- ♪
Dad, Dad!
What are you doing?
I can actually play a lot of these songs on a real guitar.
You want me to teach you boys how?
Uh, that's gay, Mr. Marsh.
Yeah, that's stupid, Dad.
But... But this is real.
Real guitars are for old people.
Do you mind, sir?
We wanna watch Stan and Kyle play.
All right, let's try to score 60,000 points this time!
Yeah! - Yeah! - Go, go! - Yeah!
Are you ready to rock?
♪ Carry on my wayward son ♪
♪ There'll be peace when you are done ♪
♪ Lay your weary head to rest ♪
♪ Don't you cry no more ♪
They're gonna do it!
Come on, guys, 100,000 points!
Cartman, shut up, we're concentrating!
Yeah! - All right! - Yeah! - Yeah!
We did it!
You have broken 100,000 points!
Dude, we are total rock stars now!
You're not rock stars!
It's just a stupid plastic controller!
Hang on.
Stan Marsh?
Yeah?
I'm Charles Kincade from the Kincade Talent Agency.
I heard you just broke
100,000 points on Guitar Hero.
Yeah, we did!
Well, I'm impressed.
And I'd like to be your manager.
Wow, really?!
Dude, dude, Kyle, this guy wants to be our manager!
No way!
For reals?
Scoring 100,000 points is impressive,
but I think with the right label behind you,
I think you boys could make a million points.
That'd be awesome!
So we're in business then?
♪ But I hear the voices say ♪
♪ Carry on my wayward son ♪
♪ There'll be peace when you are done ♪
♪ Lay you weary head to rest... ♪
Well, what do you think?
I like it.
That's these boys playing?
No, that's Kansas.
But these boys scored 100,000 points to it
on "expert level" in co-op mode.
That's pretty Goddamned impressive.
All right, we'll sign them to a one-year deal.
Yes, you did it, boys!
Listen, boys, I'm having a huge celebrity party
at my giant mansion tonight.
Why don't you come as my honorary new artists.
Cool! Cool!
Snnififffff!
Wow, this is a huge party!
Oh, yes, all the biggest stars in Colorado are here.
Dude, dude, that's Ron Zappolo from Channel Four News!
Wow!
And look over there that's that Jake Jabs guy
from American Furniture Warehouse commercials!
Everyone, everyone, this is Stan and Kyle.
They just broke 100,000 points on Guitar Hero.
Please enjoy yourselves.
There's lots more coke and sex in the house.
Dude, dude, that's Jay Cutler over there.
Quarterback for the Denver Broncos.
Oh, my God!
Would you boys like to meet him?
Are you serious?!
Jay, I want you to meet Stan and Kyle.
They broke 100,000 points on Guitar Hero.
Wow, really?!
Nice to meet you guys!
Nice to meet you!
I mean, you kind of suck, but my dad says
you might be good some day!
Thanks.
Alex, have you seen my wife anywhere?
You boys know Tom Shane
from The Shane Company diamond store commercials?
Do we?!
He's a legend!
You remember these boys, Tom.
They're gonna break a million points live
at the video arcade in a few weeks.
That would be impressive.
Dude, we've arrived.
We're super-awesome and cool.
Yeah, life is finally going to not suck so hard for us.
All right, nice rehearsal, boys.
Dude, I totally miffed that middle part!
Did you see that?!
Yeah, dude, that's almost impossible.
That was real cool, kids.
Hey, Kyle, there's a different controller
in my car that might work better for you.
Why don't you go with Jim
and he'll help you find it.
Oh, okay, cool.
You've got real potential, kid.
I have no doubt you can break a million.
Really? That'd be sweet.
I think you could.
But as for your friend-- well, to be honest,
I think he's holding you back.
What-- you mean Kyle?
Look, you score a lot higher than him.
There's no question who the better one is.
I wanna put you with some other players,
find a partner for you
who can really help you max your score.
But Kyle and I always play together.
We both chipped in for the game system.
That's very honorable.
But you know where loyalty gets you
in a game like Guitar Hero?
Nowheres.
Just listen to that video crowd.
I haven't heard a video crowd
go that wild in a long time.
You've got a chance to score a million points,
and I'd hate to see you throw it away
because you're worried about your friend's feelings.
You're gonna love this kid, Stan.
He's one of the best
Guitar Hero players I've ever seen.
Except for you, of course.
Ah, Thad!
Stan Marsh, this is Thad Jarvis.
's up?
Thad here has backed up a lot of
really great Guitar Hero players.
Isn't that right, Thad?
Yup.
He doesn't even need a game system to play on.
He can play Guitar Hero acoustically.
Yeah, but can he play Buckethead on expert level?
Go ahead, Thad,
show 'em what you can do.
Check this out.
Pretty damn good, huh?
Yeah, that's pretty good.
But can you play "John the Fisherman"?
Stan, with this kid backing you,
you're gonna make Guitar Hero history.
Oh, I love this song!
All right! Yeah! Yeah, cool!
Wow-wee, look at 'em go!
Hey, dude, how's it...
Kyle...
I... I thought you were sick.
Uh-oh!
Who is this?
This is, um, Thad Jarvis.
's up?
What... What's going on, Stan?
Kyle, I was gonna tell you later.
Mr. Kincade thinks I should play with Thad for a while.
But it's our game, we bought it together.
I know, and I wanna be fair about it
so I'll buy you out of your part.
Buy me out?!
What are you saying?!
What makes you so high and mighty
you can buy me out?!
Don't put this all on me, Kyle.
Oh, my God, this is so awesome.
You were the one that's been blowing off
playing after midnight,
not playing 'cause you were sick.
I have been sick!
Look, the point is I'm never gonna break
a million points playing with you.
You know that's true.
I guess I didn't realize it was just about the points.
Dude, this game rules.
Let's just do this, all right?
Hey, you're the kid I sold the Guitar Hero game to.
How are you liking it?
It's okay, I guess.
But I need some game guides for it.
My manager and producer set up this live thing
at the video arcade
where I'm supposed to break a million
in front of everybody and I'm stressing out.
Yeah, Guitar Hero can be stressful.
But, you know, maybe instead of a game guide,
you should just buy another game
to kind of ease the stress.
Huh?
Have you ever heard of "Heroin Hero"?
"Heroin Hero"?
It's a way easier game.
All you do is run around a magical forest
and shoot simulated heroin.
You could call it
the ultimate first-person shooter.
And there's no score? No crowds?
No, man, all you do is run through the pretty forest
and chase a big dragon.
But you don't ever catch the dragon.
You just keep chasing it.
Chase me!
Come on, this way!
Shoot up more, then you can catch me!
Come on!
Dude, this is awesome.
How are they coming?
No worries, Mr. Hart.
They'll be ready for the big show in a few days.
They better be.
I paid good money to rent this place out.
♪ I wanna be sedated... ♪
Ugh, damn it.
Dude, 's up?
Did you practice last night?
Yeah, I practiced last night!
Just shut up and play!
♪ ... I can't control my fingers ♪
♪ I can't control my brain... ♪
No, no, you know what?
Screw this!
I'm not playing this song.
Why did you pick this stupid song?!
Stan, it's the song we all agreed you would play.
Yeah, well, I changed my mind.
We're changing the song to Cheap Trick.
No way.
I hate that that bubble-gum crap.
Yeah, well, you're not the leader, are you, Thad?!
We play the music I wanna play!
Stan, why are you so grumpy-grouchy?
We're playing what I want.
Now select a different song!
Yeah, well, how about this one?
♪ I quit ♪
♪ I quit I quit I quit ♪
You know what-- that's great with me, Thad,
'cause I don't need you to break a million points.
I never did!
Stan, what is the matter with you?
I just wanna play alone, all right?
I can't concentrate with
all of these assholes riding me all the time.
What is this?
Man.
Are you playing "Heroin Hero"?
Just a little.
No, nobody plays "Heroin Hero" a little.
You know you never catch the dragon.
I know, but it mellows me out, okay?
You better pull your act together.
Because now you're gonna have to break a million points
and unlock superstardom solo.
No problem.
♪ ...That cuts you the wound heals ♪
♪ But the scar ♪
♪ That scar remains... ♪
Hey, beat it, kid.
We wanna play now!
I'm not done yet.
Hey, I know you.
You're Kyle Broflovski.
Didn't you used to have your own
Guitar Hero game system?
No, you're thinking of somebody else.
Yeah, sure.
He's the kid that scored 100,000 points.
How come you're playing here now?
Look, just go ahead and play, all right?
Leave me alone.
Can I get a Fresca please?
You're good at that game, kid.
Too good to be playing it in a dump like this.
Yeah, well...
I can't really afford to play anymore anyway.
I'm about out of quarters.
Well, look, maybe I could use some extra music
playing through this thing on the weekends nights.
You come in, work around here a little,
and maybe you can play it for free.
I appreciate what you're trying to do, Mick,
but I ain't a charity case yet.
Ehh, charity case.
I'm just trying to help out a kid who's a little...
Down on his luck is all.
Thanks, Mick.
Catch me!
Come on, catch me!
What's wrong?
Follow me, come on!
Marsh?
Stan, you got-- Oh, my God!
Get up! Stan, wake up!
Huh, what?
You're going on in ten minutes!
Everybody is coming to see you!
The dragon, where did it go?
You gotta pull it together!
Pull it together, Goddamn it!
Thank you for coming to Gamecraft Arcade
to watch Stan Marsh break a million points
and unlock superstardom!
!eahah! Let's goh! !eahah! Let's goh!
Go, Stan!
All right, Stan, you got it, man!
Yeah, Stan!
Dude, what's the matter with him?
He's been up for three days straight
playing "Heroin Hero."
Come on, Stan, you got it!
Goddamn it, he's a mess!
♪ No point in asking ♪
♪ There'll be no reply... ♪
Oh, man, I can't watch this.
What are you doing?!
The video crowd is starting to boo!
Come on, guys, let's get out of here.
♪ We're so pretty ♪
♪ I'm so pretty... ♪
The next time you bring me some talent,
make sure they're talented.
Agh!
You blew it!
You had it all and you blew it!
Listen to that video crowd!
They hate you!
There he is!
So did you break a million yet?
No, I didn't break a million points
and unlock superstardom,
all right, I'm done with that stupid game.
Aw, come on.
Once you start playing Guitar Hero,
you can't stop 'til you reach the top.
I just wanna find something else to play.
Have you played "Rehab Hero"?
You get chased by a big dragon
but you keep running away from it.
I just want a nice, simple driving game.
How's that?
Sure, kid, sure.
♪ Forever and ever... ♪
All right, that was the Splindiffs.
And now here's a hit you all remember.
It's the song that two local fourth grade boys
scored 100,000 points to on Guitar Hero.
Don't know whatever happened to those boys.
I guess they're not playing the game anymore.
♪ Once I rose above the noise and confusion ♪
♪ Just to get a glimpse behind this illusion ♪
♪ I was soaring ever higher ♪
♪ But I flew too high ♪
♪ Though my eyes could see ♪
♪ I still was a blind man ♪
♪ Though my mind can think ♪
♪ I still was a mad man ♪
♪ I hear the voices when I'm dreaming ♪
♪ I can hear them say ♪
♪ Woke up to the sounds of pouring rain ♪
♪ The wind will whisper ♪
♪ And I think of you ♪
♪ And all the tears you cried ♪
♪ They call my name ♪
♪ And when you needed me... ♪
Kyle, could I just talk to you for like five minutes?
What are you doing here?
Please, it won't take long.
Goddamn it.
We're gonna take a short break.
Be back in five.
♪ When love went blind ♪
♪ And you would make me see... ♪
I was listening to you for a while.
Dude, you've gotten a lot better.
Oh, thank you!
I was so eagerly awaiting
your approval of my abilities!
Look, Kyle, the game is still set up at my house.
Maybe we could go try playing it again over there.
Oh, so the gallant knight now comes to rescue me
from the bowels of mediocrity!
Oh, thank you, your royal Lordship!
That isn't it at all.
You don't get it, Stan!
I can play here all I want!
I even get free Frescas.
I don't need you anymore.
I know.
I need you.
I thought I was having a great time
because I was getting signed by managers
and going to big sex and coke parties,
but then I realized I was having fun
because I was doing all of that
with my best friend.
It was pretty fun, wasn't it?
Yeah.
Look, I doubt we could break a million together anyway.
I don't care.
I'd just like to play with you again...
For the fun of it.
I don't really see the fun in...
Not trying to kick that games ass once and for all.
You mean it?!
I think we can do it, Stan!
I've been close to a million a few times by myself!
Let's go, dude!
Oh, wait-- wait, I'm supposed to play here.
Hey, Mick, would you mind
if I just stepped out for a--
Go on, get out of here, kid.
Who needs your wailin'
and rockin' around here anyways?
Thanks, Mick.
All right, dude, let's do this.
What the hell?
Ah-ahhhhhhh...
Come on, come on!
You almost got me!
Catch me!
Come on!
Aw, Goddamn it!
Dad, get off our X-Box.
Hang on, I almost caught the dragon!
You almost got me.
No, me and Kyle are gonna play Guitar Hero.
I can get him!
Wait!
Where's he going now?!
You don't ever catch the dragon, Dad!
No!
"No," I said!
I am your father!
Put it back on!
Mom, will you get Dad out of here?
Ugh, stop cheating, Craig!
How was that cheating?
'Cause you tricked me, you black asshole!
Fellas, fellas!
They're gonna do it! What?
Stan and Kyle,
they're about to break a million on Guitar Hero
and unlock superstardom!
Oh, let's go! - Come on!
They're gonna do it!
They did it!
Oh, my sweet j-Jesus!
You have played Guitar Hero enough
to reach one million points!
Congratulations!
That's it?
Goddamn it.
Butters, you wanna play me next?
Okay.
But I get to be the one that betrays you
after the sex and drugs party!