♪ I'm going down to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna have myself a time ♪
♪ Friendly faces everywhere ♪
♪ Humble folks without temptation ♪
♪ Going down to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna leave my woes behind ♪
♪ Ample parking day or night ♪
♪ People spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪
♪ Headed on up to South Park ♪
♪ Gonna see if I can't unwind ♪
♪ Come on down to South Park ♪
♪ And meet some friends of mine ♪
This picture I like to call "The Pierre."
I invited Butters to stay the night,
and while he was sleeping I made a mustache
on his face with cat poo.
And this time when Butters stayed the night,
I put a tampon in his mouth.
I call this picture "The Sleeping Menstrual."
This one I call "Hot Fudge Monday."
I really like how the light
plays with the background on this one.
Is this all you brought us over here to see?
Oh, no, there's much more.
Let's see-- oh, yes, look at this one.
I call it "New Moon Rising."
I did a whole study using my ass.
Here it is using some high-contrast stuff...
Trying out some different light filters here.
But this is nothing compared to
what I have planned.
Because tonight is going to be my coup de gras.
Butters is staying over tonight?
Yes, and tonight,
while Butters is asleep, I am going to--
Hey, fellas! Ahh!
Oh, hey, Butters!
I wasn't expecting you so soon.
Yeah, I finished my chores so I came over a little early.
Hey, are you guys all sleepin' over too?
No, no, these guys were just leaving.
Weren't you, guys?
Come on, let's go.
Wait, wait, I can't let this happen.
Butters...
Yeah, Kyle?
...Don't you think it's a little strange
that Cartman keeps asking you to stay over?
Kyle.
What do you mean?
I mean, that--
What he means is that he's jealous
that you've taken his place as my new best friend.
But grow up, Kyle.
Change is a part of life.
Yeah, grow up, Kyle!
So what do you wanna do first, Eric?
You wanna play a game or just chitchat for a while?
Well, actually, Butters, I think we better
hit the hay pretty soon.
But it's only 6:30.
Yeah, and I'm exhausted.
If you're not sleepy yet, I have some more of that
nighttime cold medicine you can drink.
You guys, I got it!
It's seriously-- it's the greatest picture ever!
Oh, my God!
What'd you do to Butters this time?
It was genius!
I waited 'til he was totally asleep, right?
And then I got my camera
and I pulled down his pants,
and then I took a picture of his wiener in my mouth.
Dude?!
I know, I know, check it out.
Look, I got his whole wiener in my mouth-- see?
Oh, man, I got him good.
Dude, how is putting Butter's wiener
in your mouth getting him?
Because that makes Butters gay now!
No, dude, that makes you gay!
What?
You put a guy's wiener in your mouth--
that makes you gay, stupid.
Nah-uh. Yeahhuh!
Kenny, this doesn't make me gay, huh?
That makes you totally fucking gay.
But I'm not-- I'm not gay, you guys!
You are now.
No, no, it was a stupid mistake!
Doesn't matter-- you're gay now.
No, it was just for a second!
What-- what can I do? How can I reverse this?
You can't. No, no wait.
I know how you can reverse it, Cartman.
How?
The only way you can cancel it out
is to get Butters to put your wiener in his mouth.
Really?
Yeah, then it cancels out the gay polarity.
Shit, I gotta find Butters.
Idiot.
♪ Help me I think I'm fallin' ♪
♪ In love with you ♪
♪ Loo loo loo loo ♪
♪ Loo loo loo loo ♪ Butters.
Oh, hey, Eric.
Butters, guess what?
I have a surprise for you.
A surprise? What is it?
It's so fucking awesome.
You're gonna be so stoked.
It's the best surprise ever.
Oh, boy!
You ready? Yeah!
Okay, just open your mouth and close your eyes
and get on your knees.
Okay!
Hang on a second here. How come I can't see?
'Cause then it wouldn't be a surprise, would it?
Oh, yeah.
All right, that's good.
Okay, open your mouth Butters.
That's good, just like that.
Hey, hey, wait a minute.
This ain't a trick, is it?
You're not gonna stick something yicky in my mouth,
are ya?
I swear on my mother's life, Butters,
I am not going to stick anything yicky in your mouth.
Okay!
All right, you ready?
All right, just open your-- good, okay, here it comes.
Just sit really still, okay, here we go.
Butters!
Agh! Hey, Dad!
Butters, what are you doing?!
I'm getting a surprise!
Oh, my God!
My only son reduced to this!
Hey, where'd Eric go?
Butters, how long have you been doing
stuff like this? Like what?
Don't lie to me, Butters!
I know your secret now!
No, wait, wait.
It's okay, it's okay, Butters.
This isn't a serious problem.
You're just bi-curious.
What's bi-curious?
You are.
Just harmless curiosity and it doesn't mean anything.
We just need to get you some help, Butters.
What's going on, you two?
Nothin', mom, I'm just a little bi-curious.
Father Maxi, I just don't know where else to turn.
You see, I've just learned that my son is... bi-curious.
Is that true, son?
Are you feeling confused?
Yeah, I'm pretty confused, all right.
You see?
Young man, these confused feelings that you're having
are simply the devil's way of trying to get ahold of you.
Really?
What can I do, Father?
There is a special camp where young men who are confused
like your son can go and be cleansed by the power of God.
Many bi-curious boys come out of the camp completely cured.
A secluded camp where lots of bi-curious boys
are all put together?
That sounds like a good idea.
Oh, boy, camp!
Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!
Very funny.
I suppose you think you really got me.
What are you talking about, fat ass?
I checked on the internet, Kyle,
and getting Butters to put my wiener in his mouth
wouldn't make me not gay like you said.
You figured that out, huh?
That's right.
And I also learned from the internet
that just because I put Butters' wiener
in my mouth doesn't mean I'm gay.
All I have to do is throw away the picture,
forget it ever happened
and nobody will ever know.
Except for us.
Right, except for you.
And all the people we tell.
Why would you tell anybody?
Because it's really, really funny.
It's not that funny.
There's lots-- there's lots of things that are way funnier.
Like what?
Like... A tampon in the school cafeteria
in somebody's lunch.
Like... A dog crap on, on a guy's face.
That isn't funny.
Yes, it is!
Now, you guys, I'm getting pissed off!
You better not tell anybody!
Well, maybe we will, maybe we won't.
Fine, whatever!
You guys don't have any proof
I put Butters' wiener in my mouth.
It will be your word against mine,
and we all know that everyone trusts me
way more than you guys.
You guys, please don't tell anybody.
Okay, we won't tell anybody
as long as you are super nice to us
every day from now on.
Oh, right, like that's possible!
All right, fine!
You know what I'm gonna do, Kyle?
I'm gonna go home and photoshop the picture
so that it's your face with Butters' wiener in his mouth.
And if any of you say anything to anybody,
I'll simply show them the picture of Kyle!
Ha-ha, ha-ha-ha!
Everyone, say hello to our new camper, Butters.
Hi.
Hello, Butters. Hey, Butters.
Thank you so much for taking him in.
Don't worry.
Your son just needs to learn that he can be straight
if he chooses to be.
Do you know why you're here at camp, Butters?
Because I'm bi-curious.
That's right.
Like all the campers here, you're confused,
and you don't think there's a way out.
But even though some people would have you believe
you can't control how you feel,
the truth is that,
with the power of Jesus Christ, you can be normal.
Now, just to make sure you don't slip up while in camp,
we assign every camper an accountabilibuddy.
Let's meet Ryan, your accountabilibuddy.
Ryan thought he could never change,
but now he's learning that with the power of Christ
and prayer he can have a whole new life.
Over this way we have the cafeteria.
All the meals are served there.
Bradly, how about you be Butters' accountabilibuddy.
"Humble yourselves, therefore,
under God's mighty hand that he may lift you up."
Peter 5:6.
Butters here is new to the camp.
He's chosen to rid himself of his affliction
and forge a personal relationship with Jesus Christ.
I'm bi-curious.
"Do not lie with a man as one lies with a woman:
that is detestable."
Leviticus 18:22.
That's right, Bradly.
I think we're well on our way to being healed.
We've got another one-- room 22.
Oh, darn it.
Oh, man, I've got h-o-r-s now.
Okay, my turn.
Where is it, you filthy Jew?!
Where's what?
You know Goddamned well what!
Let go of me!
What the hell are you doing, Cartman?
I went home to alter the picture of me
with Butters' penis in my mouth to look like Kyle,
but it was gone!
What did you do with my picture?! Knock it off!
I don't have your stupid picture.
Give it back, Kyle. I don't have it.
I swear to God, Kyle, if you don't give it back right now,
I'm gonna break your fucking Jew legs right here.
Shut up. You shut up!
You're lying, and you two are covering up for him!
You know what?
You're just like Jews yourselves!
Stan, you're a Jew, and, Kenny, you're a Jew!
You're all Jews!
Ow!
Ahh... Ahh!
♪ That's what his love is for ♪
♪ With Jesus I can just say no ♪
♪ And not be confused any more ♪
We will now hear a sermon from Pastor Phillips.
For those of you who are new to camp,
Pastor Phillips is somebody who has
broken free of the bonds that afflict you.
He's bi-curious too?
Not anymore.
Because Pastor Phillips prayed
and by the hand of Jesus Christ he's now completely cured!
Let's hear it for Pastor Phillips, kids!
Hello, campers!
Yes, believe it or not, I myself used to have unclean urges.
And like a lot of you,
I thought I was just made that way.
That I didn't have a choice.
But then I realized that God didn't want me to be that way.
God wanted me to be a man!
So I buckled up in my little suit
and I prayed to be normal, and guess what?
It worked!
That's right, kids.
You see, right now you're like a paper clip.
And just like a paper clip,
God needs to bend you and shape you
and make you straight.
So you say were robbed.
Yes, a photograph, and I know who took it.
His name is Kyle Broflovski
If it's a photo, what's the big deal?
Why don't you just print out another one?
It's a big deal, okay?
That picture is my property,
and I want it back!
Okay, what is the picture of?
Why... why does that matter?
Well, how are we gonna find your picture
unless we know what it is?
All right, it's a picture of me.
Yes?
It's a picture of me...
And, um, what appears to be a penis...
In my mouth.
You were sucking somebody's penis.
No, no, I was not!
I was asleep.
And this person just put their penis in my mouth
without me knowing and took the picture.
I see. Yes.
Now, it may appear in the picture
that I'm actually looking at the camera lens and smiling
with the penis in my mouth and giving a thumbs-up,
but I assure you, I was fast asleep.
Well, we'd have to get a warrant first,
approved by a grand jury.
I don't have time for that!
We have school tomorrow!
And I know that Kyle is gonna show the picture
to everybody during show-and-tell!
Well, then, you're screwed.
You both do understand that we are trying to
save your souls from eternal life in hell?
Sure, I guess.
"Only through Christ can we cleanse our souls."
And you do know the rule,
which states that no impure or immoral images
are allowed to be seen by the eye?
Yes, sir.
"So let us purify ourselves from everything
that makes the body or soul unclean."
Corinthians, chapter seven.
Then do you mind telling us why we found this
1979 Sear's men's underwear catalog in your room?
That's, that's mine.
You know this is strictly forbidden!
I don't understand.
What's wrong with underwear?
What's wrong?!
This is what makes you confused!
Don't you get it?!
This is confusing you right now, isn't it?!
Yes, it's all very confusing!
This is just as much your fault, Butters.
Bradly is your accountabilibuddy.
That makes you accountabilibuddyable.
Both of your boys' behavior is jeopardizing
all of the work we're doing here to save these kids.
Ah, oh.
Right.
For having contraband in your room,
you will both do penance by writing scripture
for the next four days.
That son of a bitch,
he's gonna show everyone that picture
only 12 hours from now.
That's it, I don't have a choice.
I'm gonna have to bring Mom in on this one.
I'm just going to have to tell her the truth.
Ow, ow, ow!
Eric-- poopsie, what's the matter?
I don't wanna go to school tomorrow!
Sweetie, shhh.
Tell Mommy what happened?
Kyle has a picture of me
and he's gonna show everyone during show-and-tell,
and everyone's gonna laugh at me.
Oh, now, why would he do that?
Because he's jealous of
how much smarter I am than him...
So he's gonna show everyone the picture.
What is the picture of, Eric?
Last time when Butters stayed the night,
I was being really nice to him
and I was gonna take a picture of him for his mom to have...
Oh, that's nice.
But then right when I took the picture,
Butters got really hot
so he pulled his pajama bottoms down
and then I tripped and fell down
and my mouth landed right on his penis,
and then I thought of something funny
so I smiled up at the camera and gave like a thumbs-up,
and then Kyle took the picture from me,
and he's gonna show it to everybody
and make them think I'm gay!
Oh, there, there, sweetie.
It'll be okay.
These things happen.
But, Mom, I've been trying to get the picture back
but he won't give it to me!
It's okay, Eric, I'll have a talk with Kyle's mother.
You... You will?
"... But that he loved us, and sent his only son to be
the satisfaction of our sins."
Neat-o!
Butters, I'm sorry for getting you into trouble.
Oh, that's okay, Bradly.
I really want to get better.
I try to do everything the counselor's say
but somehow I still feel confused.
Yeah, well, hopefully, when we finish writing
all these verses, we won't be bi-curious no more,
and then we can go home.
You're really terrific, Butters.
I mean, I think you're great.
Uh-oh!
Oh, God, bad thoughts, bad thoughts!
What's the matter?
I think I... I think I like you.
Well, I like you too, Bradly.
You do?! Yeah!
You like-like me?
Sure, I like-like you a lot-lot!
Oh, God, we're both un-fixable!
Don't you see we're lost causes!
We're just evil and nothing can change us!
There's no other way out, Butters!
We have to kill ourselves!
No, Bradly, you can't leave!
You're my accountabilibuddy!
Hello?
Hello, Sheila.
It's Liane, Eric's mother.
Oh, hello, Mrs. Cartman.
Sheila, I'm sorry to trouble you with this,
but apparently your son has a picture of
Eric with another boy's penis in his mouth.
Excuse me?
Don't worry, sweetie, everything is fine.
It is? Really?
Oh, Mommy, thank you, thank you!
You have nothing to worry about in school tomorrow.
Mrs. Broflovski assured me
that Kyle doesn't have the picture.
What?
She talked with her son and says he doesn't have it.
Mom, she's lying!
She said she was sure, Eric.
Mom, you don't know anything about Jews.
They lie all the time!
Well, Eric, there's nothing more I can do about it.
Then that's it.
Kyle wins.
But he won't win completely.
I'm gonna print out another copy of that picture
and show it to the class myself.
I can at least rob Kyle of his final laugh.
Do you mind telling me
how you managed to lose your accountabilibuddy?
I went lookin' for him, but he runs real fast.
You don't seem to take this camp seriously, Butters.
I've called your father in for a talk.
Oh, no, my dad?
Do you understand the concept of Hell?
Do you realize that if we don't fix you,
you will burn in a lake of fire for eternity?
Well, yeah, but I just don't quite understand
what you're fixing.
We're fixing your confusion!
There you are, Butters!
Oh, hey, Dad.
What's he done now?
Mr. Stotch, your son is insubordinate,
unwilling to change
and worse yet, he's lost his accountabilibuddy.
They found him, they found Bradly!
You better come quick!
Oh, Lord in Heaven!
Don't jump, Bradly!
Stay, stay back!
I'm an abomination of God!
No, no, we're fixing you!
Guess you think today is your big day, huh, Kyle?
To embarrass me in front of everyone?
Well, guess what?
I'm not giving you the satisfaction.
Okay, students, let's all take our seats.
Since it is Monday, we'll start as always with show-and-tell.
Who would like to go first?
Ow-- quit it, dude.
Okay, Eric.
Jesus-- calm down, you can go first.
Ha!
For show-and-tell today,
I would like to share with you some very special,
very artsy photographs I have taken
in pursuit of being a respected photographer.
This first picture I like to call "Moods of Winter."
A simple aspen grove, shot in high contrast
black-and-white shows the brittleness of the trunks
and reminds one of death.
This picture I took just as the sun was rising
and this lonely man was walking to work.
A statement about all of our loneliness perhaps?
He isn't going to actually show everyone.
And now this next picture...
Don't jump, Bradly.
You will only make God angrier with you!
It's too late.
Bradly, please, you're my accountabilibuddy.
How will this make me look?
You get back.
You're only gonna make things worse.
I'm not normal.
I'll never be normal.
You're perfectly normal, Bradly.
Get back, you're just as confused as he is.
All right, all right, that does it!
I am sick and tired of everyone telling me I'm confused!
I wasn't confused until other people
started telling me I was!
You know what I think?
I think maybe you're the ones who are confused.
Yeah.
I'm not gonna be confused anymore
just because you say I should be.
My name is Butters.
I'm eight years old, I'm blood-type O,
and I'm bi-curious.
And even that's okay.
Because if I'm bi-curious
and I'm somehow made from God,
then I figure God must be a little bi-curious himself!
I think... I think I'd like to come down now.
He's coming down!
We did it!
Through the power of Christ we have saved this child.
Well, Butters, I guess we might as well go home.
Looks like you're never gonna change.
No, I like being bi-curious.
Well, you know something?
So do I.
Wait, now I am confused.
And this photograph I took of a sunset
near the power plant.
Note how the contrasting images make a statement
about our impact on the earth.
Which brings us to my last picture.
This picture you may find somewhat controversial.
Ew!
Dude.
Yes.
This is shot at a 5.6 aperture using a low-light filter.
You can see the grain from the high-speed film.
There's sort of a penis in my mouth right here,
and the low depth of field keeps the background soft.
Eric, what the hell is this?
What this is is a statement against the war in Iraq.
It's wrong that we still have our troops there.
It's wrong!
And what I'm saying is that--
um, Eric Cartman,
we got an emergency message from your mother.
"Do not show picture.
"Kyle didn't have it after all.
Found it under your desk."
She said you'd know what what means, m'kay.
Lame.