Let's go to work in the Jeopardy! round.
Here are your categories.
We have "The Wonderful World of Disney,"
then "Wasted Lives," "Mortality,"
"Charlie Greeves," "Regrets,"
and finally, "No Going Back."
Morris, back to you.
I'll take "Mortality" for 400.
"This moves faster and faster as long as you live it."
What is time?
That is correct. You're on the board, Morris.
Ken, I'll take "Wasted Lives" for 200.
"This senior partner at Boosalis & Addington died in his sleep."
- Andrea. - Who was Charlie's predecessor?
Correct. Charlie, please close your mouth.
Charlie. Even your dreams are cliché.
- Need a hand? - I'm good. I got it. I got it.
Are you sure this is a good idea?
Definitely. You know, I wanna get back to work.
- I crave a routine, you know? - Oh, yeah, absolutely.
I just, like... you know,
you did just show up
- at that Jeopardy! man's house... - Ed... Ed Little.
...at Ed Little's house, in a way that, you know,
some may consider "menacing."
You know, maybe you just need to, like, take a minute to decompress or...
talk to someone or...
What? Talk to someone? Like therapy?
Yeah.
Well, you've never talked to a therapist, why would I talk to a therapist?
Because you did, you know... you...
you did break into a stranger's house.
Babe, I am good. I promise.
You know, it's like... it's like the time after you had Frances,
you had all those postpartum hormones, but eventually you snapped out of it.
Well, I didn't just snap out of it.
And I do have some lingering feelings of general bummed-outness that, like,
never, like, totally goes away.
But... I see your point.
Okay, well, I am fine,
so why don't we just put this behind us?
Put what behind us?
- See? That's what I'm talking about. - Okay.
- Have fun dropping off Frances. - Okay.
Hey. Can I borrow your car for the night?
- I'll have it back tomorrow afternoon. - No.
It's just I need to get to La Quinta
for a Johnny 66 corporate retreat, you know?
- Is Jenna gonna be at this retreat? - Of course she's gonna be there.
- She's the CEO of the company. - And given that, you still wanna go?
What I want is irrelevant.
It's my job to be there, so I'm gonna be there. Can I borrow a car?
Charlie has to get to work so he has a car,
and I'm about to drive to Palm Desert
to take Frances to a debate tournament so we're out of cars.
Palm Desert, that's right near La Quinta. You can drop me off.
I guess we could give you a ride.
But we're about to leave, and Frances is driving,
- so proceed at your own risk. - No problem.
- Are you taking a dead body with you? - No.
It's just... It's work stuff.
- We stop at Pioneertown for lunch? - Why not?
Also, we should grab some ginger ale 'cause my tummy's... it's a little--
Oh, my God. Just get the fuck out of here before I change my mind.
I'll be in the car. Okay.
Hey.
What? Oh, mate, are you okay?
A baby. My ex is having a fucking baby?
Wait. I... I'm so confused.
Andy's having a baby?
No! My real ex-husband, Joe. The first one.
And that's a bad thing?
If it's my ex-husband's newer, younger wife's baby then it is.
You know what? That idiot can have fun changing nappies for the next two years
and being the creepy older dad in the preschool yard.
And now Joe gets to do it all over again,
and Naomi gets this better version of him!
You should be compensated for training him.
I mean, you get spousal support so you kinda are, right?
Or not. I don't have any idea how that works, actually.
Katie, like, when did you know your marriage wasn't gonna work out?
When I realized that he was a fucking man-child
that was never gonna grow up.
I will never, never recover from this.
Wait. Aren't you the one who ended the relationship?
- Get the fuck out! - Get outta here! Shut up!
- I'm just saying... - Get out of the car!
- I'm just saying... - Shut up!
- That's not the point! - That has nothing to do with it.
Okay, okay. Not the point.
He can only ever be with someone much younger
because anyone closer to our age would see
that he is the opposite of a catch.
Someone younger, what a curse.
You know what? Shut up, okay? You're not helping.
- You're not involved in this. - Okay, you're right.
Fine. I don't wanna help.
Okay. Okay, sweetie.
- Good luck with the tournament. - Thank you.
- Love you. - Love you.
- Hi, Gemma. - Hi, Mrs. Greeves.
Oh, my God, thank God you're here.
Everyone else at this tournament is a loser nerd.
I'm so sick of us always being the hottest.
I know.
- Bye. - Bye.
- Okay. - Do you guys wanna listen to my podcast?
- Sure. - Okay. Only if you want to.
This is Katie Fields.
Join me as I talk to changemakers...
Why are you talking like that?
This is Breaking the Glass Ceiling...
- Shit, that's too loud. - That's... Oh, my God.
...part of the Boss Mama Industries Network...
What's the Boss Mama Industries Network?
My company.
Hello.
Fucking... I don't think that's mixed in properly, you know?
Yeah, it's a bit loud.
Okay, I'm gonna save this for later
- when we can concentrate. - Yeah.
- Great, yeah. - Okay.
I can't believe you got Diane.
Yeah, you got a local realtor. Wow.
Buddy, are you sure you wanna go to this Johnny 66 retreat?
I'm just saying. Why don't we go grab lunch, go home?
Yes, I'm sure, okay? I have a job, Sylvia.
I have to go to this thing. Jesus.
Buddy, why are you putting yourself through this?
There's so many other places that would hire you, for a start.
Or you could just strike out on your own.
Jenna's right.
I've talked about opening my own bar for years and it hasn't happened,
- so it's never gonna fucking happen. - I promise you, Jenna didn't mean that.
She just said that because she was very hurt
because you left her at the altar.
Shots fired, Syl.
Jenna's a business person, you know? She knows.
Wh-What am I gonna do? Open a shitty little bar?
- Look at Lucky Penny. - It started doing better after I left.
Yeah, but because of your beer.
I'm going to the thing. Okay? Can we stop talking about it?
I'm going to the retreat.
I promise you, Jenna's not gonna wanna see you right now or probably ever again.
We worked together before the relationship,
we'll work together fine in the wake of it.
Can you just let him do his postbreakup
- the way he needs to do it? - Yeah.
Go with your gut.
That's the first step in the Boss Mama postbreakup three-step process.
Cool. Wh-What are the other two steps?
Follow your heart and do whatever you feel like.
Interestingly similar steps
but I do think going to the retreat is counterproductive.
Says the person who's never been divorced.
Yeah, exactly. Yeah.
Katie, what did you do after your divorce?
Listen, postdivorce and breakup is a weird time, isn't it?
It really is. I don't know how I'm gonna feel
from one second to the next.
You know what? I'm gonna come back there so we can talk.
- Great. Yeah. - Wait. Hold on.
Whoa. I am on the highway. Whoa. Dangerous, dangerous.
- I got a lot to say on the subject. - Great.
I know you're the one that ended things
but that doesn't mean that you don't get to feel crazy.
No. I feel so sad all the time. Honestly.
Guys, guys, I'm only getting bits and pieces
of the convo up here. Can you speak up?
But it will end. You just have to ride through it.
- I just feel like, when is it gonna end? - Of course.
Well, actually I felt really bad when Dean broke up with me.
- Dean? - Yeah.
From the a cappella group?
Yeah.
From freshman year of college?
No, no. Dean doesn't get you into the divorce club.
- Sorry. - No, nice try.
I dated him junior year, not freshman year.
- What? - What?
I dated him junior year, not freshman year.
So it's still fresh.
Dean. Aged.
Aged? Yeah. Not quite the a cappella years.
But he is in the HR department at Google.
Fun.
- Could've been you. - Could've been me.
- Mrs. Google. - Mrs. HR Google.
Mrs. HR Google.
Yo, I just heard the most fucked-up shit ever.
That you're going to a retreat for a company that you should quit?
No. Ha-ha.
- It's that Red is going out of business. - Who is Red?
Red, the guy who owns the Red Wolf Tavern,
the place we're currently sitting in right now.
- Are we supposed to care? - Yes.
Red is a legend in the brewing world.
Well, the location out here doesn't really help. It's pretty grim.
That's not it. It's that brewers everywhere are really suffering right now.
You know, drinking trends among 21 to 34-year-olds, they're way down.
- It's incredibly depressing. - Drinking less alcohol is depressing?
- No question. - Yeah.
Alcohol is literally a depressant.
It's not like they're replacing drinking with something healthy and cool.
They're just spending more time fucking scrolling online. That's bad.
It's probably still healthier than drinking beer.
- Nerd. - Nerd.
So, about last night. Charlie okay?
What do you mean?
Well, we had kind of an interesting evening.
What happened?
Would you like to tell her or should I?
It's gonna sound much worse than it actually was.
I'm excited to hear your take on all this.
Charlie went out with this one,
and they ended up, I don't know, drinking and hanging out
and running through the house of some Jeopardy! executive.
- It was just boys being boys. - Back up. What?
You heard that right.
We broke into the house of a fucking executive on Jeopardy!
and Charlie wanted to convince him not to air his episode.
- It was fucking insane. - What?
No. No, no, no, no, no.
- It wasn't insane. Boys will be boys. - Yes. It was insane.
- Boys will be boys? - Why do you keep saying that?
But people do much crazier things than that all the time.
- Who? - Michael Jackson.
- Michael Jackson? - Go on.
Hung the baby off of the side of the balcony.
Great example of what is and is not normal. Michael Jackson.
- I'm sorry. Is Charlie okay? - He's fine. He's great actually.
He just has to wear a boot for a while.
- No. I mean, is he, like, okay-okay? - He's not okay. He's not okay at all.
- He's very much not okay. - No, no, no. He's so fine.
- He's never not been fine. - Oh, my God, are you crazy?
He's very obviously going through something.
- No, he's not. - Are you fucking kidding me?
I'm an expert on not okay and that man, not okay.
No bueno.
He is back at work today, so he's obviously feeling fine.
- I think he just had a moment. - No.
You need to accept that this is much more than just a moment.
No, no, no. I don't need to accept anything, okay?
Not everybody's, like, fucked up.
And, like, by the way, is it possible that you might be, like,
projecting your own shit?
Are you fucking joshing me? I'm projecting?
I'm just saying, my life is a little bit different to both of yours.
- What does that mean? - What? Yeah. How?
- Just organizationally. - Organizationally?
- What the fuck is that? - I just...
My life... My life is stable and predictable,
like I know who I'll be waking up next to in five years' time--
You don't know jack shit, girl.
- You don't know nothing. - You know, I've never been divorced.
I don't go around leaving people at the altar.
Oh, my God.
Are you kidding me right now? You fucking think you're better than us.
Your words, not mine.
You're just as fucked up as we are!
- Yeah! - No, I am actually not. I'm not.
You're comparing your husband to Michael Jackson.
- That's not good. That's a red flag. - Yes! Do you hear yourself?
Also, we are the two most interesting people in your life.
Yeah, exactly. You don't get to judge us.
You also don't get to come to a place called Red's fucking Tavern
with a toothless man behind the bar and order a lettuce-wrapped hamburger.
You think you're too good for buns.
- No, I don't. No, I don't. - Yes, you do. Yes, you do.
- You obviously do. You do. - No. It's not about bad and good or...
You think you're too good for a bun.
- Too good. - No. No, I don't! I...
Okay, okay, okay, okay.
Are you happy now?
Very normal. This is all very normal.
Just normal behavior.
...word "compensation" will be finalized
and whether staggered terms will be accepted to the members
of the advisory committees
since regulatory compliance may come into play. We should reconvene...
I have to use the bathroom.
Very funny. You can stop.
I said you can stop.
It's uncalled for, dude.
Seriously.
Seriously? You're carrying on?
Hey, man. Are you okay?
Were you whistling?
No, I was taking a shit.
I'm gonna go finish now, okay?
I find that there's an uptick in homeowners generally.
- People are-- - Sam, goddamn it!
This is a chaotic podcast.
Where's the Pirate's Booty?
You just ate it.
Pirate's Booty is flavored air.
I just want to do something with my mouth.
That's what she said.
There's more in the back.
Okay. Sorry. Let's get back to it, Diane.
I'm just gonna fix this. Okay.
You gotta get your kid a babysitter while you record.
- What the fuck? - Hey!
What are you doing going through my shit?
- What are you doing? - This is my penguin!
How dare you go through my stuff?
- You and the penguins again? - Yeah, that's what's in my... It's a...
It's a giant penguin, okay? You fucking happy?
- It's a peace offering. - Are you...
- You're crazy, Will. - I'm not crazy.
You get what I'm doing here.
- I'm following my gut. Yes! - No! Your gut is wrong.
- It's not! What are you talk... - This is too far!
Why is this too far?
- You're crazy. - To give someone a nice gift is crazy?
Look, I feel bad. I feel guilty.
I don't want her to hate me, okay?
And those feelings are all noble and understandable and natural
and perfectly fine in the confines of this minivan.
But you cannot call off a wedding with someone
and then give them a stuffed penguin. You just can't.
I would argue the exact opposite of that.
Once you call off a wedding with someone, you can't give them nice things anymore?
- You can't give them giant penguins? - No!
- You can't give her that. - Good luck trying to fucking stop me.
We're not letting you. Katie, throw it out the window.
- No, hey! No! No! - The child lock's on.
Don't throw my fucking penguin out the window.
- I paid $400 for this fucking penguin. - No. Unlock the window.
- This is for your own good. - Unlock it.
No! Don't unlock the door.
- I'm trying. Sorry. I'm trying. - No, no. We're not letting you...
- Bring it up here. - Syl, get it. Syl!
- You're not getting it! No! - My penguin. He's mine!
Get it! Get it!
Jesus, fuck!
Oh, no!
We can drive it though, can't we?
Not with that windshield. That's a highly specialized glass.
Well, can you replace it?
It's gonna be 48 hours to special order it.
What? Forty-eight hours? Come on.
And I'm afraid it's gonna cost you $4,000 before labor.
- Okay. - This wasn't my fault. For the record.
Insurance doesn't like to cover these particular windshields,
but we take cash.
There's a Red Roof Inn across the road you can walk to.
My brother owns it. He'll give you a really good deal.
Yeah, we... we might take it somewhere else and get it looked at.
I wish I could, but I can't legally let you take it off the lot with this crack.
I think we can make it to the next shop without getting pulled over.
They think they can drive this sucker off the road with that windshield.
Well, we can't let you do that.
Wouldn't be safe or legal.
Yeah, like I said,
my brother's Red Roof Inn is across the road.
It's in a plaza with a Jack in the Box that my sister owns.
I'll keep the keys safe.
Okay. Well, we'll just have a quick chat but thanks, guys.
- Yes, thank you. - Thanks.
- What do we do now? - Well, I'm gonna call Charlie.
- He'll figure this out. - Yeah, great.
- Hey, babe. - Hi.
- How's the road trip? - Well. Funny you should ask.
We're having a little bit of an issue.
Yeah, tell me about it.
What's happening? Work okay?
- I'm not at work. I came home. - No. Is it your mum?
No. Why do you keep asking about my mom? My mom's fine.
What are you doing right now?
I'm lying on the couch.
Staring at the ceiling.
I think I wasn't ready.
I think you're right.
Maybe I do need to go into therapy.
What was it you needed?
Nothing. No, nothing.
Everything's okay. I'll...
I-I-I'll see you soon.
I'll be home soon. Okay. Bye.
- Okay, what did Charlie say? - Yeah. What are we doing?
- I couldn't tell him. I... - What?
I think...
I think he might actually be having a nervous breakdown.
He told me he's had to leave work today because he's... quote, "isn't ready yet."
Oh, no. That's not good.
I mean, I...
It's really scary to admit because I rely on him to, you know,
just take care of everything.
He's always been the rock, you know?
Because I guess I need him to be.
So, I can't pile this car shit on him right now.
But I also... I need him to be the rock.
And... take care of it.
Oh, my God. This is it.
This is our life now. We just live here in this town
owned by this mechanic and all of his siblings.
- I mean, we're never gonna leave. - Well, that is not true.
Yeah.
I mean, I'm gonna leave.
There's an Uber seven minutes away. Who knew?
Look, in every relationship,
the couple needs to take turns being the rock,
and now it's your turn to be the rock. That's all.
I don't know how to be the rock. I can't be the rock.
You can be the rock, you can totally be the rock.
Just ask yourself what would Charlie do right now?
Probably eat a bunch of protein powder.
Okay.
- What is she doing? - I don't know.
Hi, I-I need my minivan back now.
Okay.
If you don't have enough cash you can go to the pawnshop down the street.
It's owned by my stepdad.
No, no. I'm not paying you anything.
I just wanna... just take...
I just want my... and I'm demanding that you take my car.
Can we take the... Have...
Unless you want fraud.
What did you say? I literally can't hear anything you're saying.
We're just trying to help you, ma'am.
- I just... Give me my car back. - I can't.
- I want my car back. - Like I said,
I can't let you drive it with this crack.
It looks like that crack's gone.
- Shattering a glass ceiling. - Let's go.
- That was great. - That was amazing!
- You're fucking crazy. - That was awesome.
- Yeah. - You're a rock.
- Amazing! - Oh, shit. We can't get in.
- There's too much broken glass. - There's glass everywhere.
- That's not safe. - That'll hurt us.
Do you have a vacuum that we could borrow?
Anyone here need a drink?
What am I doing?
What?
This whole trip, I mean...
I can't go on a corporate retreat with Jenna right now.
- That's fucking crazy. - Yeah.
Yeah.
I need a clean break.
Hello, this is Will Zysman,
and I would like to formally tender my resignation.
That's right. I fucking quit.
Well, how do I get a P45 form?
Great. Yeah, okay. No, I just... Yeah, hold on.
Slow down, let me just... I'll put you on speaker. One second.
- Let me... Yep. - Do you need a pen?
- I got it. Okay, you're on speaker. - Okay.
I'm writing this down on my phone. Go ahead.
- Why don't you text it to Katie? Yeah. - I can put it in an e-mail.
Sorry, just, open up a voice memo one of you.
Let me do it on my... I'm in my Notes.
You're in the... Okay. But you could text...
- If you text it to... - I'll Google the HR website, and I'll--
- No, don't do that. - What?
I'm gonna record you on a voice memo.
- Let me do a voice memo. - Yeah, yeah.
- Let me... And then I'll record you. - Yeah.
- Say it. - Okay.
- Here he comes. Hi. - Okay, did he go for it?
Yeah. I got a great price too.
- That's awesome. - No way!
What are you gonna do with Red's brewing equipment anyway?
I don't know. I'll figure it out, but it's got good juju.
- It's got good energy to it. Yes. - Does it?
- Yeah, totally. Totally. - Yes, it does.
So what's Red's next move?
He said he's actually gonna start cooking and selling meth.
No, what is he really gonna do?
He's gonna cook and sell meth.
- Cool. Desert times. - Yeah, yeah.
Bugging out in the desert.
- Not much to do out here. - No. Why not?
So, is the minivan gonna be big enough to carry all the equipment or...
No. I'm gonna need to get a U-Haul or something.
I can stay and help.
- I don't have Sam tonight. - Great, yeah. Cool. Yeah.
I can help too. I'll just tell Charlie that I'm running a little late.
- Awesome. - No. It's fine. Me and Katie got it.
You... You go back to Charlie. It's more important.
Sure? I don't want to abandon you guys in the desert.
- No, we'll be fine. Yeah. - Yeah, seriously.
You should go home to Charlie.
- Okay. Yeah. - Okay. Great. Cool.
- All right. - Let's do it.
You should see how much beer I can drink.
- In one sitting. - Oh, man. I'm excited.
- They gotta get rid of all the beer. - I open the tap,
I punch a hole in the side.