All right, let's try over here.
Set up traps there, and there as well.
Last time I saw him, he ran right through here.
This is so retarded, Cartman.
You've got everyone believing your stupid story.
It isn't a story, it's true! I saw a leprechaun.
I've seen him come through here three days in a row, now.
Hawkeyes, this is Dragonwind. Do you copy?
This is Hawkeyes.
We've set up the net and we're standing by.
Copy that, Hawkeyes. Keep surveillance tag Alpha Niner.
Dragonwind out.
Just admit you were lying, Cartman, so that everyone can go home.
Oh, no! We have a deal, Kyle!
If I can prove there's a leprechaun,
you have to suck my balls, remember?
Dragonwind to Blackie. What's your six, Blackie?
I don't want the code name "Blackie."
Code names are what they are, Blackie.
Check your six and alert when in position.
This is fucking retarded!
(SNICKERS) Getting nervous, Kyle?
When that leprechaun shows up, you must suck my balls.
Don't forget, I have a signed contract from you.
Yeah, and if you couldn't prove there was a leprechaun
you had to give me $10.
Now just pay up and stop being stupid!
God damn it, why hasn't it shown up yet?
Dragonwind to Faggot. Come in, Faggot.
This is Faggot. Go ahead.
Faggot, I need you to keep surveillance north-northeast.
Check back in five.
Okay, will do. Faggot out.
(GROANS IN DISGUST)
Okay, that's enough. Everybody!
Cartman is just pulling one of his stupid tricks on everyone
because he's trying to get out of a deal he made.
It was here, I swear it!
I don't know why it's not showing up this time!
You didn't see a leprechaun, fatass!
If you could prove it, I had to suck your balls,
but if you couldn't, you had to pay me $10!
Pay up!
I got something! I got it!
It's... Oh, jeez, I think it's a leprechaun!
No, there is not a leprechaun.
Set off Diversion Track C!
Dude...
Fuck me, it's a leprechaun.
Get it!
Get that fucking leprechaun! I want it alive!
Wow. Cool.
No way. Whoa.
Move aside! Move aside!
All right, butthole, where's the gold?
You lads don't know what you're doing.
I need to deliver an important message.
There's going to be an attack!
Tell me where the gold is or you die. Slow.
Where'd he go?
I was sent to warn of a terrorist attack,
but you boys have made me late.
Now the terrorists will prevail. The end is near!
Dude.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Kyle, suck my balls.
Dad, where do leprechauns come from?
From Ireland.
So why would one come to America
to warn us about a terrorist attack?
Kyle, leprechauns aren't real. You're almost nine now,
you need to understand the difference between real and imaginary.
I thought I did.
(DOORBELL RINGS)
Oh, Ms. Broflovski, how are you this fine evening?
Oh, hello, Eric. Kyle, your friend is here.
Hello, Mr. Broflovski, Ike. Nice evening, isn't it?
Well, Kyle, shall we go up to your room for a few minutes?
Get out of here, Cartman. We're eating dinner!
Kyle, I believe a certain someone
is supposed to put a certain set of balls in their mouth.
I'm not doing it, fatass!
Doing what?
We had a deal, Kyle!
Just get out of here!
You signed an agreement, Kyle!
I don't care if I signed an agreement!
Hey now, Kyle, if you made a deal with somebody,
you have to stick by it.
Thank you, Mr. Broflovski.
What was the agreement?
That if he could prove leprechauns exist, I would suck his balls.
What, what, what?
And there was a leprechaun! You saw it, Kyle!
Yay, Kyle's going to suck balls.
Hey, dudes.
Hey, Kyle.
So, how was it?
How was what?
Sucking Cartman's balls.
I didn't suck his balls, all right? And I'm not going to!
Dude, why did you ever agree to suck his balls in the first place?
I didn't think there would actually be a leprechaun!
And I still don't!
Why would a leprechaun be warning us of a terrorist attack?
There's another explanation for all this.
Excuse me.
Have you boys seen a leprechaun anywhere lately?
What do you know about the leprechaun?
Ooh, then you did see him.
That's wondiferous! I want you to tell me everything he said.
Where was he? What was he doing?
All right, I've had enough!
Leprechauns are imaginary!
Well, of course they are.
But just because they're imaginary
doesn't mean they aren't real.
Haven't you boys ever used your imagination?
You, young man! How would you like to be a cowboy?
Or a swashbuckling pirate?
And you, how would you like to be
an astronaut, far out in space?
All it takes is a little imagination.
Who the hell are you?
Still not convinced, eh?
I tell you what, boys.
What say we all take a ride on my Imagination Flying Machine?
(BELL RINGS)
Dude.
Hop aboard, kids. I have something to show you.
Uh... Are you gonna rape us?
No.
All right, then.
Come on, guys.
Watch it, fellows.
I'm pretty sure this guy wants to rape us.
All aboard the Imagination Balloon!
Some people feel imagination isn't real,
but I tell them that they're wrong.
Because whenever I want to play and pretend, I just sing...
♪ The Imagination Song
♪ Imagination
♪ Imagination, imagination
♪ Imagination
Are you gonna take us somewhere or not?
But, my boy, we're already here.
ALL: Whoa!
What is this place?
This is Imaginationland.
It's where all the wonderful and goofy things
that humans have made up over the years live together.
(ALL CHEERING)
Citizens of Imaginationland!
We have distinguished guests from the world beyond!
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
Hello.
Welcome to Imaginationland. I am the Lollipop King.
We are honored to have creators in our kingdom.
Wow! This is incredible and totally fucked up at the same time.
Now, good news, everyone! These boys did see the leprechaun!
(ALL CHEERING)
What did the leprechaun tell you? Did he have any news?
Well, he said there was gonna be a...
That there was gonna be a...
Allah!
Oh, fuck, no!
(SCREAMS)
(ALL SCREAMING)
(SPEAKING ARABIC)
Run, Toto!
(SCREAMING)
(INAUDIBLE)
Stan, we have to get out of here!
Quickly, boys! Get on my back!
Fellows! Fellows, wait! Hold on, fellows!
Butters!
Don't leave me, fellows! Come back!
(GRUNTING)
Dude!
Butters! Butters!
(GASPS)
Where? Oh, oh, dude.
Oh, it was just a dream. It was all just a crazy dream.
(SIGHS IN RELIEF) Oh, my God.
(PHONE RINGING)
Hello?
Dude, did you finish your math homework?
I kind of lost track of time last night.
No, no, I hardly got any sleep.
I had this whole messed-up dream
about some gay Mayor guy taking us to Imaginationland,
where all these imaginary characters lived.
And then it got attacked by terrorists?
Yeah! How'd you know?
Dude! I had the same dream!
We jumped on a dragon's back, and Butters got left behind!
Stan? Stanley? You haven't seen
your little friend Butters, have you?
Why?
(CRYING) Our darling Butters never came home last night.
What did they say?
We don't want to jump to conclusions,
but we're worried that maybe somebody kidnapped Butters,
sodomized him over and over again
and then fed his genitals to wild animals.
(SOBBING)
There, there, darling.
Dude.
Ladies and gentlemen, I have dire news.
Yesterday, at approximately 1800 hours,
terrorists successfully attacked our imagination.
Our imagination? How?
The imaginary attack appears to
have been in the works for years.
The effects of the attack are so far unimaginable.
What do the terrorists want with our imagination?
We can't imagine.
We've intercepted this videotape
the terrorists made for broadcast.
Luckily, we've kept it from being broadcast to the public.
(SPEAKING ARABIC)
No! He's just a Care Bear!
Oh, my God.
Later in the video, we can see another imaginary hostage,
this one reading a forced statement.
"Praise to the mighty Allah,
"whose divine grace and will have brought forth this day."
(SPEAKING ARABIC)
"Oh, jeez!
"Now see, your safety is at our whim.
"This is the price you pay, America!
"You have defiled Allah,
"and now we shall turn your imagination against you!
"Death to the infidels!"
Can I go now?
Stan! Kyle!
Could you... Could you get me out of here?
Gentlemen, the terrorists appear
to have complete control of our imagination.
It's only a matter of time before
our imaginations start running wild.
I believe a serious blow to democracy has just been dealt.
A travesty has occurred, and I want justice!
Kyle Broflovski did willingly and knowingly sign a contract,
and yet, as to date, he has made no effort,
nor does he show any intention, of ever sucking my balls!
I've given him ample time to fulfill his obligation,
and he has thus refused.
I stand before you with dry balls, Your Honor.
I have provided witnesses, collected testimonials,
and still, my balls remain dry.
I want what I'm entitled to!
Mr. Broflovski, did you agree
to orally imbibe Mr. Cartman's scrotum and testicles?
I...
Is this not your signature on the contract?
(STAMMERING)
Come on! Really?
I mean, aren't there more important things going on right now?
From what I've been presented and the evidence put forth,
the court has no choice but to order you
to place Mr. Cartman's pubicle sac in your mouth
and draw upon it succulently for no less than 30 seconds.
Yes!
You have 24 hours to suck aforementioned balls.
If after that time you still refuse,
the court will be forced to arrest you for contempt.
Next case!
Thank you, Your Honor.
This isn't a victory for me, this is a victory for the justice system.
And my balls.
What I am about to tell you is highly classified.
Two days ago, Muslim terrorists hijacked our imagination.
Frankly, we don't know what their next move is, or how to stop them.
In times like these, the government
often turns to Hollywood for help.
You creative filmmakers can think of ideas we just can't.
That's why we've asked you here, M. Night Shyamalan.
The Sixth Sense, Signs, The Village, all very clever films.
But can you use your amazing-idea brain now
to help us stop the terrorists?
What if...
What if it turns out they aren't terrorists?
But they're actually werewolves? From the future?
No. No, they're terrorists. They've been linked to al Qaeda.
But what if al Qaeda, it turns out, is the group being terrorized?
By aliens?
No, no. That's not an idea, that's a twist.
We need ideas.
How about we make everyone think that terrorists attacked us,
but really, we were all already dead?
Get him out of here.
Mr. Bay, can you think of any ideas
how to outwit these terrorists?
I believe I can.
We start by making a big CG building,
and then we have a meteor go...
(IMITATING EXPLOSION)
And it's all like...
(IMITATING EXPLOSIONS)
And motorcycles burst into flame
while they jump over these helicopters, right?
No, no! We need ideas how to stop the terrorists!
An 18-wheeler spins out of control, and it's all like...
(IMITATING EXPLOSION)
Into this huge tanker full of...
(IMITATING EXPLOSIONS)
Those aren't ideas, those are special effects!
I don't understand the difference.
I know you don't. Get him out of here!
And being that we are all big Mel Gibson film fans,
we thought maybe you could help us.
My nipples, they hurt! They hurt when I twist them!
Yes, I don't suppose you have any creative ideas
how to fight these terrorists?
How about this?
You have that videotape that the terrorists made, right?
Well, maybe if you did a background check on that videotape,
you might find somebody who doesn't belong.
Somebody who doesn't fit in Imaginationland.
(SCREAMING)
Hey, that's not a bad idea.
Yeah.
Say what you want about Mel Gibson,
but the son of a bitch knows story structure.
Get the videotape and do a background check on everyone in it!
(SCREAMING)
Yes!
All the imaginary characters in the tape were identified, sir.
Count Chocula, Cinderella, Snarf from Thundercats, but here...
Nothing in American folklore or storytelling match this kid.
He appears to be just some kid.
Stan! Kyle!
Could you... Could you get me out of here?
I want digital imaging and resource magnification done, stat!
If that kid isn't imaginary, I want to know who he is,
where he's from and who his friends are!
Yes, sir!
Who are you?
Uh... Excuse me? Mr. Terrorist, sir?
I'm actually not imaginary,
and my parents are gonna ground me if I don't get back...
(SPEAKING ARABIC)
Okay, sorry. Sorry.
Can you tell what the terrorists are doing?
They're doing something to Rockety Rocket.
No! Leave me alone!
It doesn't make sense. What do they want with Rockety?
The only reason they would...
Oh, my God. They're gonna blow up the barrier!
What's the barrier?
The wall!
The wall which separates the evil side of Imaginationland
from the good side!
No! No, you can't blow up the barrier! Are you insane?
(SPEAKING ARABIC)
We can't let this happen.
It will be the end of Imaginationland.
Yeah. You have to stop them, kid.
Me?
What am I supposed to do?
Don't you get it?
If the terrorists blow that barrier,
all the most evil things ever imagined
are gonna pour out, and take over Imaginationland for good!
You have to do something!
(CRIES)
(ALL CHATTERING)
Thanks for coming, everyone.
The big moment is finally here, just as soon as Kyle arrives.
He's not gonna show up to suck your balls, dude.
He has to. He's been ordered by the court.
Eric, I'm a little concerned about your obsession
to have Kyle to suck your balls.
It just seems a little faggy.
"Faggy"?
What? You think I want Kyle to suck my balls for physical pleasure?
This is about humiliation, people.
This is about Kyle finally having to admit he was wrong.
He was wrong, and so now he has to
kneel before the king, and kiss his ring.
Except the ring is my balls.
Hey, he's here.
What? Move aside, move aside!
Dude, do you really have to do it?
Let's just get this over with!
Yes, come on in, peasant Kyle,
and pay homage to the sultan's balls.
God damn it!
Yes. Yes!
(HELICOPTER WHIRRING)
(SIRENS BLARING)
That's them, sir. Stan Marsh and Kyle Broflovski.
You boys need to come with us on a matter of national security.
Who are you?
There's no time! You need to come with us right now!
Hey, let go of him!
We aren't going to hurt your little friends, we just need information.
No! No, he has to suck my balls!
(SCREAMING) No! No!
ALL: Allah!
No! No!
Hold on! Hold on a second!
Now, you really should think about this. I mean...
I know you think attacking our imagination will get you somewhere,
but will it, really?
If you destroy that wall,
all the most evil parts of our imagination are gonna break loose,
but will it really make you terrorists feel better?
Maybe it's time for us all to just get along.
ALL: Allah!
(SCREAMING)
Jesus Christ, no!
That was your plan to stop them?
Yeah, a nice, little heartfelt speech?
That's fucking stupid!
(EXPLOSION)
They are coming.
Glad I picked you up, kid.
It's dangerous for someone your age to be hitchhiking.
Yeah, well, when a man has been wronged,
he no longer cares about danger.
You going to Washington to visit family?
I've got unfinished business.
You go through life being told there's justice,
then you learn that the only real justice is the justice you take.
Make no mistake, Kyle.
Before this is over, you will suck my balls.
What?
(SCREAMS)
Oh, it was just a dream.
Come on, Butters. Mom's cooked waffles and 'nanas for you.
Oh, Mom, Dad. I dreamt I was in Imaginationland,
and then terrorists attacked it.
You are in Imaginationland. This is a dream.
Huh?
Hey, wake up, stupid! Come on. Wake up, kid!
No, wait! I was back home in bed!
No! You passed out and peed your pants!
Look! The evil of Imaginationland is coming out!
(ALL EXCLAIMING IN FEAR)
(ALL SCREAMING)
Oh, hamburgers!
Everyone fall back to the Gumdrop Forest!
Come with me, little boy! I'm going to get you home!
(SCREAMING) It's Alien!
Lovely!
Predator!
(SCREAMING)
Look, we already told you everything we know.
Some guy just showed up in a big balloon
and took us into Imaginationland.
What we want to know is how!
We need to find a way into Imaginationland. You've been there.
How did you do it?
We just went on a balloon ride.
There must have been some kind of portal or doorway.
Dude, we don't remember.
Do you realize what's going on here?
Terrorists have attacked our imagination,
and now our imaginations are running wild!
You'd better start remembering!
It was the Chinese, wasn't it?
What?
We've suspected that the Chinese government
was working on a doorway to the imagination.
Is that where you were?
No.
That's it, isn't it?
Where do the Chinese keep this portal? How does it work?
It is better than ours?
Your what?
Our portal to the imagination,
built as a secret project back in 1962 to fight the Soviets...
(SHUSHING)
Tom! That's super-secret.
Oh, I'm sorry, sir.
Wait, the US Government has a portal to the imagination?
See? Good job, Tom!
Why don't you just tell them everything about Project X?
Yes, sir. We built a portal to the imagination
to use against the Russians
during the Cold War, but we never got a...
That was sarcasm. I was being sarcastic, you fucking idiot!
Oh, jeez, I'm really sorry, sir.
If you already built a doorway to the imagination,
then why do you need us?
All right, we might as well show it to them.
God damn it, Tom.
CARTMAN: Every night, the dream is the same.
I'm on my way to visit my friend Kyle,
because we had a bet that if I could prove leprechauns were real,
he would suck my balls.
And it turns out I was right.
(ECHOING) Time to pay up, Kyle.
But then...
No!
CARTMAN: It's been taken from me. I have dry balls.
Balls so dry they explode like dust.
(SCREAMING)
(SCREAMS)
You okay, kid?
No. I've got dry balls.
And I'm running out of time.
Ever since the Cold War, the US government has been working
on a secret project to build a doorway into the imagination.
It is called "Project Imagination Doorway."
That's not very imaginative.
According to all the tests and the data, the doorway should work,
but it never has.
But we're close, sir. We're real close.
They've been saying that for over 40 years.
You're the ones, right?
The kids that have been inside the imagination?
I guess.
What was the sequence that got you inside?
We know there's some kind of resonance code,
but we can't figure it out.
Look, we're sorry, you guys, but the balloon just went up in the air,
and the dude sang a song and we were suddenly there.
Song? You didn't say anything about a song before.
What song?
The Imagination Song.
That could be it.
The fractal converter has never worked
because it was waiting for a multitonal code.
Quick, boys, how does The Imagination Song go?
BOTH: ♪ Imagination
Sir, I'm getting some electrofeedback from the gate.
It's weak, but it's nano-responding to something.
Was there more to The Imagination Song?
How does the rest of it go?
BOTH: ♪ Imagination
♪ Imagina...
No, no, dude, it went up there.
♪ Imagina...
Dude, we don't remember. It was really long and stupid.
I'm just about through playing with you boys!
We're running out of time!
You have to remember that song in its entirety!
(CHOKING)
Mayor! Mayor, what are we supposed to do?
Please, sir. I have to get home to my world.
Oh, well. All you have to do is tap your heels together three times.
Really?
No, you fucking dipshit, that was a joke!
(GRUNTING IN PAIN)
Mayor, what are we supposed to do, snarf, snarf?
Get to Castle Sunshine. It's your only hope.
Castle Sunshine?
Through the Gumdrop Forest. Others will be hiding there. Go, run!
Look out for the evil characters.
They're assembling on the Yum Yum Mountain.
We are free. Now all of Imaginationland is ours.
Not all, foolish orc.
There are still parts of Imaginationland we don't control.
Tomorrow, we shall build our own castle, right on this spot.
Who put you in charge, Krueger?
I am the most evil character here.
Nonsense! Your evil is stale.
I am the most evil imaginary character.
(HISSES)
Now, come on, y'all. We shouldn't be fighting,
we're supposed to all be on the same side.
Yeah. You're right, Squirrely Squirrel.
Yeah! Yeah!
What evil imaginary characters are they?
They were dreamt up by some fourth-grade kid
as part of his Christmas story.
Now come on, y'all.
We can't waste time arguing. There could still be survivors out there.
We need to hunt them down and kill them.
And eat their flesh!
But first we should rape them.
How about we kill them,
and then rape their bodies so we can use their blood as lubricant?
Say, that's a great idea, Beary Bear.
(ANIMALS CHEERING)
Man, I do not want to meet the kid that dreamt those things up.
Look, I want some goddamn answers!
You brought my friend here to Washington!
Where is he? What is going on?
I'm sorry, sir. That information is classified.
Something is going on, and I have a right to know where my friend is!
There's somebody asking a lot of questions about what's going on.
Let me handle this!
I'm sorry, but there is no such thing
as Project Imagination Doorway!
Imagination Doorway.
It was started in the '60s as a secret government project. Right.
BOTH: ♪ Imagination
Wait, maybe that was where he went really flat,
like that half-step key change?
♪ Imagination
Right, then it was...
♪ Imagination
BOTH: ♪ Imagination
It's open! It's open!
Getting readings from the other side... That's it!
We've made an opening to our imagination, sir!
(ALL CHEERING)
Yeah! Yeah!
All right, that's enough!
We've still got a lot of work to do, people!
It's time to go in and get our imaginations under control!
How much further to Castle Sunshine?
Snarf, I'm not sure, snarf, snarf. I've never been.
(GIRL SCREAMING)
What was that? Over here.
Oh, Christ. It's Strawberry Shortcake.
Please, let me go.
Oh, my God! Snarf.
(SCREAMING)
(ALL LAUGHING)
Please, no more torture.
Just kill me! Just fucking kill me!
Yes. Now kill her!
Whoa, whoa!
Hang on, y'all. You can't just kill her. That's not evil enough.
What do you mean? We cut out her eyeball.
Yeah, that's super hardcore.
Now come on, y'all. We can do better than that.
Hey, I know! Let's all pee in her empty eye socket!
Let's make her eat her own eyeball,
and then pee in her empty eye socket.
How about we get someone with AIDS
to pee in her eye socket, so she dies all slow-like?
Yeah! Yeah!
Nobody here has AIDS!
(ANIMALS GROANING)
But we've got to have AIDS before we pee in her eye socket!
Now don't be down, y'all. I bet we can find some AIDS out in the forest.
(ANIMALS CHEERING)
Run, run, run!
All right, men. We don't know what you'll experience
on the other side of this doorway,
but it will most likely be really weird.
If you reach our imagination,
you are to take every step necessary to get it under control.
Are you ready? ALL: Yes, sir!
Are you ready, Kurt Russell?
I don't understand why I'm here. I'm just an actor.
Yes, but you were in that one movie that was kind of like this.
That gives you more experience than anybody.
All right, here we go! Men, forward!
Sir, we have a security breach!
What?
There's an Unauthorized Entry Alert! It's coming from Sector 2!
Sector 2?
Cartman?
Hello, Kyle. Thought you could get out of your responsibilities, huh?
Who the hell are you?
That kid you have made a bet that if I could prove I saw a leprechaun,
he would suck my balls!
Get him out of here!
No! Hold on a second! I have a contract
validated by the United States court system!
Let me see that!
Why would you agree to suck someone's balls?
I didn't think there was going to be a goddamned leprechaun!
All right, you two can go use the conference room.
Go on, we have work to do here.
What? Well, wait. I wanna see what happens here!
You signed an agreement, kid.
We don't have time for this. Go on and do it.
Stan?
Dude, you did make a deal.
The conference room is which way?
Well, well, well. Here we are, Kyle.
You tried to bail on our agreement, but I found you.
I didn't bail, I got picked up by the government!
Well, we're here now, that's all that matters.
Care for some nuts? Oh, that's right.
I guess you'll be chock full of nuts in just a few minutes.
Cartman, do you even know what's going on?
We went to Imaginationland, terrorists attacked it,
and now the government is about to...
(YAWNING)
Oh, jeez, I'm sorry, Kyle.
It's just I'm so completely bored by this story.
See, I'm really only interested in the part
where the leprechaun was real,
and so you have to suck my balls.
Okay, fine. You know what? Let's just get it over with!
Oh, no, no, no. Not so fast, Kyle.
I've waited a long time for this,
and I intend to savor each and every second.
No, I'm serious!
I wanna see what's happening downstairs, so let's just do it!
Not just yet, Kyle. There's still a few things I need to do.
By the way, I should tell you that I haven't had a chance to shower
while making my way up here. My balls are extra vinegary.
Just get to it, already!
Entering the portal in five seconds.
Kurt Russell, can I get a comm check?
Check one, two.
Good luck, men, and Godspeed!
What do we have? Kurt Russell, can you hear me?
RUSSELL: We're here. We're somewhere.
They are inside the imagination, sir.
What do you see in there?
RUSSELL: There's lots of big mushrooms, colorful grass,
some castles in the distance.
Wait. Something's coming for us!
It's coming out of the bushes and it's...
Oh.
Oh, it's just a cute little squirrel. Hey, it talks.
(LAUGHS)
The little squirrel talks.
Aw! An imaginary talking squirrel.
ALL: Aw!
Ask the squirrel what it knows about the terrorist attack.
Wait a minute. The squirrel has friends.
Oh! Why, it's a whole bunch of Woodland Critters.
Wait, Woodland Critters?
There's a talking bear and a beaver.
They seem to be Christmas critters.
Well, hello. Yes, hi.
Get them out of there! What?
Tell them to get away, now!
What's the matter?
Oh, the cute little bear's eyes are starting to glow red, now.
Hello there, little animals, do you happen to know how to...
(SCREAMING)
Kurt Russell, what's going on?
They're raping me! They're raping me!
Get out of there, Kurt Russell!
They're raping all of us! Oh, it hurts!
They're raping us and it hurts!
(SCREAMING)
(HUMMING)
I was thinking about using a high-speed shutter
with a low depth of field. What do you think?
God damn it, Cartman, will you stop wasting time?
I wanna get this over with!
No, you're right, Kyle.
A higher depth of field will make sure everything stays in focus.
There we go.
Now, Kyle, when you're sucking my balls,
are you gonna think about how right I was about the leprechaun?
Or are you just gonna try and focus
on how rough and salty my balls feel in your mouth?
Let's just do it!
In time, Kyle. You certainly are eager for balls, aren't you?
Are you ball-famished? Ball-starving?
You see, Kyle, I wonder if at this moment you are actually...
(ALARM BLARING)
Everyone to the main hall, now! Go!
No, no, we're not done in here yet.
Everyone to the main hall, now!
No! God damn it, no!
Boy, snarf, snarf, my feet are really getting tired, snarf.
Snarf, could you maybe, like, shut up for five minutes?
Wait! There it is. We made it!
Castle Sunshine!
Yeah! All right! Yeah! All right!
(DISTANT CRY)
Hurry! Get inside!
The evil imaginary characters are approaching!
Lock down the gates! Prepare to fire the cannons!
Wait! Wait!
What imaginary character are you?
The Lollipop King. From the Lollipop Forest.
And I'm Snarf. Snarf, snarf, snarf, snarf.
And what imaginary character are you?
(STAMMERING)
I'm not imaginary. I'm Butters.
What's a "Butters"?
The Mayor brought him and some other kids into Imaginationland
just before the terrorist attack.
So you came from the real world
at precisely the same time as the terrorists.
That seems like quite a coincidence.
Well, I was just playing with my friends,
and then we caught a leprechaun and then this guy...
You caught the leprechaun? Take him!
Perseus! He's not against us, snarf, snarf!
(ELECTRICITY SURGING)
Talk to me! What's going on?
Something is coming through the gate from the other side.
(GROWLING)
(SQUEALING)
What is it?
It's like a half man, half bear!
And half pig!
Oh, no! No, wait! It's like a half-bear, half-man pig!
(GROWLING)
(PEOPLE SCREAMING)
Look out!
No! I think it's more like a half-man and half-pig bear!
Reverse the doorway! Send it back through!
(SCREAMING)
Kyle!
(SCREAMING)
Please! I didn't help the terrorists
get into Imaginationland! Honest!
That is for the Council of Nine to decide.
Don't worry, kid, the Council of Nine consists
of some of the most highly-regarded imaginary characters
in all Imaginationland.
Fellow Council, these are indeed dark times.
The evil forces amass at our gates as we speak.
Zeus believes we should evacuate.
Yes. Their power outmatches ours.
If they are giving us a chance to leave, we must take it.
And what say you, Morpheus?
How are we to know that they will let us go?
Their offer could be a trap.
Perhaps we must flee to the Temple of Alderaan.
Surely they wouldn't chase us there.
No, we can't. Come on, you guys, this is our home.
We have to fight to keep it the way it is meant to be.
I'm with Jesus. The evil characters
aren't going to just let us go.
(MUMBLING)
That may be, Popeye, but we don't have a choice.
(CLEARS THROAT)
Forgive my intrusion, Council of Nine,
but this boy has infiltrated from the real world.
Bring him here!
Clear!
I'm sorry. He's gone.
Kyle's dead?
Damn it! Damn it!
No! Kyle can't die.
SCIENTIST: I'm sorry, young man.
Kyle?
Well, at least now he doesn't have to suck anyone's balls.
No!
No, he has a strong heart! He wants to live!
Come on, Kyle! Come on, buddy!
He's gone, little boy.
Zap him again! Do it!
Charging. Do it!
Come on, buddy. Clear.
Come on, buddy.
Get out of here!
(BREATHING HARD)
God damn it, Kyle, you never walked away from anything in your life!
Now fight!
Fight! Fight! Right now!
(CRYING) Fight! Fight! Fight!
(COUGHING)
(GASPING)
(LAUGHS IN RELIEF)
Get him some air. There you go. Easy. Breathe easy.
He's okay. He can still suck my balls.
Let's get him some lemons and some ChapStick, right away!
I believe this child was brought into Imaginationland for a reason.
Perhaps the Mayor knew something we don't.
What are you saying, Aslan?
That if we are to take back control, we might...
Yes. If we are to take back control from the evil forces,
this little boy might be the key.
Oh, I'm the key?
Could I not be the key, Morpheus? I don't wanna be the key.
If you ever wanna see your home again, little boy,
you'll have to rise to this challenge.
But I'm supposed to be at school right now,
and instead I got Snarf and Popeye
and Luke Skywalker all pissed off.
It is a dark time for all of us, young boy.
But know that if you believe in yourself,
everything will turn out all right.
Sir, are you sure about this?
We have no choice.
Terrorists have attacked us where we are most vulnerable.
There's no other option.
We have to nuke our imagination.
Wake up, Kyle.
(SCREAMING)
Help!
AL GORE: Back it up!
Look! Right there! See that?
Help!
What does that look like to you?
It's Manbearpig! I told you it was real! Look again!
There! Half man, half bear and half pig!
Do you see it?
Yes, we see it, Mr. Gore.
Something big is going on,
and the American people need to know what! I'm off!
(IMITATING AIR WHOOSHING)
The final battle is about to begin.
At this very moment,
the evil imaginary characters are marching toward us.
They come by the thousands,
and they will not rest until they have killed us all.
This is gonna be fun, huh?
ALL: Yeah!
And so, we prepare for a battle we cannot win.
Sweet and cuddly imaginary characters,
many who have never held a weapon,
must now fight for their very lives.
But fight against them we must,
for darkness cannot take over Imaginationland.
That, my child, is why we need you.
(STAMMERING) But I really don't think I can...
With your help on the battlefield, we have a chance.
I'm just a dumb kid! What can I do?
Young boy, you have a power here
that you have yet to understand.
He's recovering, but there's been some trauma to his brain.
The boy says he's been hearing imaginary voices.
STAN: Hello? Hello? Anybody?
Stan?
STAN: Hello?
Stan?
Good morning, Kyle. How are we feeling?
Cartman, what's happened?
What's happened? Well, let's see,
you bet me that I couldn't prove leprechauns were real.
And if I could prove it, you had to suck my balls, I believe.
No, I mean what happened at the Pentagon?
You just rest, Kyle.
Look what I made for you. A sundae.
It has hot fudge and whipped cream and a cherry.
But I feel like something is missing. Don't you, Kyle?
What else belongs on a sundae besides hot fudge and whipped cream?
Hot fudge, whipped cream, what else belongs on a sundae, Kyle?
What else goes on a sundae besides
hot fudge, whipped cream, and...
Oh, that's right! My balls!
Cartman, what is going on out there? What happened to Stan?
Oh, he got sucked through that portal thing
and they're gonna nuke it now.
So are you all set for your big photo shoot, Kyle?
Wait, what do you mean? Stan's in danger?
Don't try to change the subject, Kyle.
You've done a really good job of trying to get out of this bet,
but it's finally time to settle.
Get ready for your sundae, Kyle. With extra nuts.
Aslan, the evil characters are almost here!
Get everyone to the battlefield! Defend the castle walls!
Quickly, young boy. We need your powers, now!
What powers? I don't understand.
You are real. You are a creator.
That means you can imagine things into existence here.
I can?
Santa Claus was killed in the terrorist attack.
The first thing we need is for you to bring him back.
How?
You just have to focus your mind.
Imagine Santa and nothing else.
How am I supposed to focus with all this crap going on?
Think only of one thing. Imagine it. Believe in it.
Whatever is most prominent in your mind will come to be.
Butters! You are grounded, mister! You hear me?
Grounded!
(SCREAMING)
No, no, no! No, no, no!
What are you doing? We need Santa!
I'm trying!
Come on, kid, imagine Santa! Believe in Santa!
You must believe in Santa!
Believe in Santa! Right now!
(SCREAMS)
(HUMMING)
Kevin, can I get some more bounce off that 2K?
Let's just go with a 5.6-8 split.
Cartman, will you shut up? I'm trying to find out what's going on.
A new terrorist attack seems to have taken place.
This time, in our imagination.
Al Gore brought this video to the public's attention,
sparking demands by everyone who
wants to know exactly what's going on.
We were hoping to keep this quiet until it was all over,
but two days ago, there was a terrorist attack on our imagination,
and now, our imaginations are running wild.
(ALL CLAMORING)
Our imaginations are running wild and we weren't told?
By attacking our imagination,
the terrorists have found our most vulnerable spot.
And we've determined that the best course of action
is to nuke our imagination.
Is nuking our imagination really prudent?
Aren't there other, more peaceful ways
to get our imagination under control?
Couldn't we try sending Kurt Russell into a portal
to our imagination, to try and reason with...
We tried that. And Kurt Russell
was raped by Christmas Critters!
Ouch.
The Pentagon claims that because imaginary things are not real,
the military doesn't need Senate approval to nuke them.
That's bull-crap, man! You can't nuke our imagination!
Don't nuke our imagination, bro!
Whoo!
Mike, does the military have the authority to nuke our imagination?
Clearly they don't, Steven, and they're gonna have a big problem,
because State government has already set a precedent
that imaginary characters are real.
I cite a famous court case of Cartman v Broflovski,
in which a US court found for the plaintiff, who saw a leprechaun.
Yes, I believe the defendant had to
suck the plaintiff's balls in that case.
That's right, Steven, yeah.
Oh, for the love of God!
STAN: Hello? Can anybody hear me?
Stan! Dude, is that you?
Kyle? Where are you? I don't see you.
No, I'm not there. I'm at a hospital.
I'm hearing you in my imagination.
Oh, that makes sense.
Dude, what's happening?
I'm in, like, a Gumdrop Forest.
I just saw Strawberry Shortcake tied up and dead, with pee in her eye.
(HORN SOUNDING)
Wait, hang on. I think something
really big is about to go down.
The evil characters are here.
Defend Castle Sunshine!
(SHOUTING WAR CRY)
There's no time left! You have to get control of your imagination,
and bring Santa back, now!
Santa. Santa.
Think. Jolly old Santa. Red suit, white beard.
Santa!
(SHRIEKING)
How does that look? Can you see my balls and the sundae in frame?
A shocking new development in the nuking of imagination!
The Supreme Court has ruled with the military
that imaginary things are officially not real,
and therefore no approval is needed
to nuke them. Thank you.
Oh, no.
This, of course, overturns any imagination-based verdicts in the past,
including the famous Cartman v. Broflovski ball-sucking case.
What?
So it appears the military is ready to proceed with its operation,
one they are calling
"Operation Nuke The Imagination
"Through The Imagination Doorway."
STAN: Kyle? What's happening?
The government is gonna nuke Imaginationland.
What? You can't let them do that!
What am I supposed to do?
Dude, you have to stall them!
What is that? Hey! Get out of here! Leave me alone!
Stan? Stan?
Where are you going? I'm going to try to save
Stan and Butters from getting nuked!
Okay, okay, but you have to suck my balls first real quick.
No, I don't! The decision was overturned.
We had a deal, Kyle!
Yeah, that leprechauns were real,
and the government just declared they aren't technically real,
so I was right. It's over. I don't have to suck your balls!
(SCREAMING) It isn't over!
It isn't over, Kyle!
I have not waited this long to see
you weasel your way out of this bet!
Go ahead and go. But I swear on my life,
before this day is over, you will suck my balls!
I swear it!
(MUMBLING)
We need more spinach for Popeye!
I got one. I got him.
Hey there. Huh?
(ANIMALS CHEERING)
We're losing the battle! There are simply too many of them!
Then the day is lost.
WONDER WOMAN: Wait! Aslan, look!
What? What happened?
You did it, kid!
Quickly, Santa! They need you on the battlefield!
Huh?
Oh, all right.
Make way for Santa!
Now you see your potential, young creator.
But there is still much more we need from you if we are to win this day.
This area is restricted, little boy.
Please, I need to talk to the people inside.
They can't set off that nuke.
Get behind the line with the other protesters.
No nukes in our imagination, bro!
(ALL CHEERING)
You don't understand! My friend is in Imaginationland!
I can hear him in my head!
You pot-smoking hippies aren't getting through here, so back off!
Stop that nuke!
ALL: (CHANTING) Stop that nuke!
What's going on here?
The military has to do this. It's their only way to kill Manbearpig.
(IMITATING AIR WHOOSHING)
Good, Butters. Now imagine some more archers on the castle walls.
Aslan! We're losing the battle!
We managed to fight off the vampires and werewolves,
but now our troops are being shot down by the Cavity Creeps.
Cavity Creeps?
We make holes in teeth!
What can destroy the Cavity Creeps?
Only Crest Gel with tartar control.
Quickly! You must imagine a giant Crest Gel!
Yes!
His powers are getting stronger.
We might just have a chance, here.
ANGEL: Aslan, we've captured a spy!
He was sneaking around the Gumdrop Forest!
Stan! Hey, look, I imagined Stan here!
No, no! I got sucked through Project Imagination Doorway at the Pentagon.
Project Imagination Doorway?
Never mind! The battle is almost won! We can deal with him later.
No, no. You don't understand. There's a nuke.
The government is about to level this entire place.
What?
Why would they nuke Imaginationland?
So the terrorists can't ever use it against us again.
We can get Imaginationland under control.
The Chosen One just needs more time!
The Chosen One?
Yeah, it turns out I'm the key.
WOMAN: Missile launch sequence initiated.
All right, people, I want this nuking done by the books.
Sir, we have a security breach!
What?
There's an Unauthorized Entry Alert. It's coming from Sector 2!
Sector 2?
What the hell do you think you're doing,
declaring leprechauns aren't real?
What?
You just can't declare that imaginary things aren't real!
Who are you to say what's real?
Think about it. Is blue real? Is love really real?
Imaginary things are things made up by people,
like Santa and Rudolph.
Yeah, and they detract from real things, like Jesus.
Maybe Jesus is imaginary, too.
Oh, you better not say that! You'll go to Hell!
It's possible that Hell is also imaginary.
So then, we're about to nuke Hell... That's a good thing, right?
Oh, yeah, that's a good thing, yeah.
What if Heaven is imaginary? We'd be nuking heaven.
Yeah, but it wouldn't be real.
So it'd be all right.
Look, maybe they're all part of the same thing.
Santa and Jesus and Hell and leprechauns.
Maybe they're all real in the same way, right?
Santa Claus and leprechauns are imaginary,
but Jesus and Hell are real!
Well, then, what about Buddha?
Well, of course he's imaginary!
Oh, see? Now you're being intolerant, Tom.
Am I real?
All right, enough!
Keep that kid out of our way, and let's get back to the nuking at hand!
No! Leprechauns are real, God damn it!
STAN: Kyle?
Kyle, what happened?
Nothing. What?
Nothing happened! There's nothing I can do!
Dude, you can't let the government fire off that nuke!
They say they can do whatever they want,
because imaginary things aren't real!
Well, you have to convince them they are real!
No way, dude. Then I'd have to suck Cartman's balls.
Whatever it takes, you have to do it, all right?
Hang on, Kyle, Jesus wants to talk to you.
Huh?
JESUS: Hello, Kyle? This is Jesus.
Oh, boy.
What seems to be the problem, my child?
Jesus, I can't do anything.
I'm just a fourth grader going against the entire government.
Hello? Jesus?
LUKE SKYWALKER: No. Hey, Kyle, this is Luke Skywalker.
Look, I know this seems like an impossible task,
but do you remember when I brought down the Death Star?
I mean, that seemed impossible, too, right?
Yeah, I guess.
Okay, now hold on, because Superman is here,
and he wants to say something.
SUPERMAN: Kyle, this is Superman.
Hi, Superman.
I know that saving people can be a big responsibility,
but no matter what it takes, it's worth it.
I know.
You can do this, Kyle.
Now hang on, because Hercules wants to talk to you.
Oh, God.
Yes, God is here, too.
He's gonna talk to you right after Cap'n Crunch.
(SCREAMING)
Popeye, I need some help here!
Popeye is being raped by Christmas Critters.
Get off of me! I need some help.
Hey, what is that?
More spinach for Popeye!
Imagine an M60 for Jesus!
All right!
The boy is doing it! Everything is going to be okay!
WOMAN: Missile launch in one minute.
God damn it, you stupid assholes are going to ruin everything!
Prepare for launch.
Sir, we have a security breach!
What?
There's an Unauthorized Entry Alert.
It's coming from Sector 2!
Sector 2?
Kyle?
What the hell are you doing back here?
Listen, you don't have to do this!
Our imaginations aren't running wild anymore.
Why is it so easy for children to break into the Pentagon?
You have to stop!
If I'm not mistaken, you're the one
who bet that leprechauns weren't real.
So why do you care what happens?
Because I...
Because I think they are real.
It's all real. Think about it.
Haven't Luke Skywalker and Santa Claus affected your lives
more than most real people in this room?
I mean, whether Jesus is real or not,
he's had a bigger impact on the world than any of us have.
And the same could be said for Bugs Bunny
and Superman and Harry Potter.
They've changed my life, changed the way I act on the Earth.
Doesn't that make them kind of real?
They might be imaginary,
but they're more important than most of us here.
And they're all gonna be around long after we're dead.
So in a way,
those things are more realer than any of us.
(PEOPLE WHISTLING)
Abort the sequence.
(HONKING)
Sir, he was right,
it does appear that our imaginations have stopped running wild.
Do an imaginary sweep. I'll need a full imaginary report.
So, Kyle, imaginary things are real, huh?
Guess that means I did win the bet after all.
And you know what that means, Kyle.
Just let it go with your fucking balls, already, you fucking asshole!
Your friends have been in danger
and all you care about is this stupid bet!
Well, I've decided, Cartman, even if we had a bet,
that I am never sucking your balls, you got that?
They can throw me in jail for the rest of my life,
but I am never going to suck your balls, ever! So there!
What happened? Why hasn't the missile gone off?
There's been an abort, Mr. Gore.
No!
Manbearpig has to die!
Oh, Jesus, no!
(ELECTRICITY SURGING)
(ALL SCREAMING)
That's it, Aslan! The evil characters have fled!
The day is ours!
(ALL SCREAMING)
(GRUNTING)
Kyle!
Fellows! Where did you come from?
(AIR WHISTLING)
What is that?
(SIREN BLARING)
(BLARING STOPS)
Huh.
(STRAINING)
He did it!
Oh, look, I'm back!
Nice going, kid.
(ALL EXCLAIMING)
The evil characters! They're all back behind the wall again.
Dude! How did you do that, Butters?
Well, I just used my imagination.
ALL: Aw!
You know, I really have learned a lot, you guys.
What Kyle said about imaginary things being real
and Butters using his imagination?
It makes me think that,
well, maybe we all have the power to make things a reality.
Oh, why, look. It's me. And...
And there's Kyle. And what's Kyle about to do?
Cartman, don't!
Oh, Kyle! What are you doing to my balls?
Oh, look! It's Kyle, sucking my balls!
Dude. Oh, my God.
Oh, Kyle, you are gobbling those balls, aren't you?
I told you, you would suck my balls
before this was over, didn't I, Kyle?
That's sick! Why are you sucking his balls, kid?
I'm not sucking your balls. That's imaginary!
No, Kyle, I believe you said that imaginary things are real.
That's true. You did.
Oh, look at you go, Kyle! Oh, you dirty girl! You love those balls.
(ALL LAUGHING)
Okay, Kyle, that's enough ball-sucking. We need to get you boys home.
Oh, look, Kyle! You're choking on my balls!
Oh, you seem to be recovering now.
Oh, and you're just diving in for a second helping! Oh, Kyle!
(ALL WHOOPING)
I am not sucking Cartman's balls!
Whatever you imagine to be real is real.
Remember...
♪ Imagination
ALL: ♪ Imagination
MR. STOTCH: Butters? Butters!
(GASPS) What?
Oh.
It was all just a dream.
Come on, Butters, time to get up.
Oh, Dad! I had the craziest dream!
I saved all of Imaginationland
from running wild after a terrorist attack!
You were in Imaginationland, Butters!
We've read all about it in the paper!
The question is, what were you doing in Imaginationland
when you were supposed to be helping your mother
clean up the basement?
You are grounded, mister!
(GROANS)
Wait, I'm not grounded.
Oh, yes, you are!
Oh, yeah?
That only works in Imaginationland. You're grounded!
Oh, shit.