DON'T DIE TOO HARD
- Good one! - Thanks.
- One nil. - No, two nil.
- Two nil? - Two nil.
My turn.
The pushchair!
Ha, ha. We can't have the same sense of humour.
You've got a stain.
Bird brain!
My goodness!
- That really made me laugh! - It would. It was very funny.
Extremely funny. I've never seen anything so funny!
We're wasting time.
Redo it. I've a Pure Power class tonight.
I'm not wasting time here. Back to work!
To work yourself!
I make the decisions.
All right, but I decide next.
Do as you like.
Sorry, Mr l-make-all-the-decisions. Here come the decisions.
Here they come yourself!
Hang on!
What's wrong?
- I just cleaned that. - So?
It's re-dirty. It's re-soapy.
Well redo it, then!
There we are...
- What now? - I've cleaned it twice.
- So? - I did it once, it got dirtied up,
I re-did it, it got re-dirty...
That's strange.
It's fresh. Very fresh.
It can't be.
Someone's dirtying my window.
- Behind what? - Be quiet!
Behind you. On three...
One...
two...
three!
He's gone. He got away.
He heard you and vanished through a secret trap door.
Shit!
- Where is he? - There. Underneath.
That's amazing.
He's good.
Really good.
Very, but you're not thinking! You're talking baloney!
It's just you and me on this cradle. Must I say this every night?
Look. Watch this.
Who's doing that?
I am. It was me just now.
Do you see? It was me dirtying it up.
It was you dirtying it up just now!
Fine! Now I know who it was
I can clean it in confidence
without being disturbed.
- They're still there... - They're always there.
The little one's in love with me. He's been after me for 2 months.
He gave me some cheese cubes.
How?
He stuck them to the window.
It's the thought that counts.
He has the amazing gift of being able to lip-read.
Or so he thinks.
Hello.
You're sweet but a tiny bit dumb.
What did she say?
You're sweet but a tiny Breton.
She loves me. She called me sweet.
She also called you a tiny Breton!
Better a tiny Breton than a big bird in the bush.
You asked for it!
Here are the reports for your cousins.
Thanks, Sylvie. You can go now.
Shouldn't I stay for the board meeting?
You go and enjoy your weekend.
You're spared the clan gathering.
All right...
I hope you get on better with Mr Lanceval this year.
My uncle's a bit edgy sometimes...
But slapping you because of the colour of a file...
It's nothing to addle an aardvark about!
What?
Have a nice weekend, Sylvie.
Hang some mice each end, severine.
OK, if you say so.
What do you see in her?
- She's not my type. - Really?
I'm not surprised. Your type doesn't exist.
Have you seen your face? Your arms?
They look like skylights!
Are you saying I'm skinny?
Yes!
In 6 months time,
I'll have a body like his.
Peter MacCalaway. Thanks to his high proteline diet.
- Proletine? - Proleline.
It may be hard to say
but my muscles are like bolsters.
I mean boulders.
- Bollards. - Boilers.
- That's bogus. - My muscles are bogus.
Shut up a minute, will you? Not bad.
How are you?
You okay, dimwit?
Dine out?
Dinner?
You and me?
That's right, you ape.
The eighth?
That's tonight! She asked me to dinner!
See you tonight.
So, you're perfect are you?
Never brained yourself bowing,
while cleaning the Montparnasse Tower windows?
Get up! Wake up! Here we go!
Watch carefully.
- What are you doing? - Over 14kg of water.
Really?
Be careful...
It's completely safe.
Jean-Louis?
How old are you?
Just my Friday evening joke.
It's no fun guarding an empty tower.
Before everyone goes I like to...
The big shots arrive in 10 minutes.
Go easy on the jokes.
Mr Lanceval won't be amused.
The only reason you didn't laugh was
I wasn't wearing my costume.
I'll kill 'em in this!
A bit of advice, if you value your job.
Don't worry. I understand.
It's always the same with big wheels,
they wheely get you down!
Hello? Montparnasse Tower?
I don't get it. I did it with two buckets before!
I'm really sorry.
- Did you say something? - No, Mr Lanceval.
A greeting is considered civil.
Hello!
Moron.
I'm sorry?
Nothing.
I said, have a good trip...
in the lift.
Children...
Zey are kummink up, Miss Laancevaal.
I'm sorry. They're coming up.
Good evening, uncle.
Well, well, well...
I hear my aunt's ill and won't be coming.
It's not serious?
That's a good blue. You've done it right for once.
Now I'll be late for dinner with Marie-Joelle.
In fifteen minutes it's my second Pure Power class.
It's butt sculpt tonight.
A bit more important than dinner, wouldn't you say?
Don't start that or we'll be here all night
and it gets really boring, your kids game.
Don't start that because it soon... and then...
goes on for ages... and afterwards...
it's a kids game. So stop that now.
Got your mother's proxy form?
Here, father.
Let's go straight to this semester's results.
The figures, stephanie.
I'm a jerk.
This poo is delicious.
You're a bit like a president.
Reception? Open up.
Hoping the heroics are over,
please return to your seats, put out your cigarettes and shut up.
Why did it do that?
- Did you touch something? - No.
If you must fire inside, avoid the windows.
If you want to make a noise,
do it with this.
This,
is for this.
What's going on? Something's wrong.
I hope Marie-Joelle's on time for dinner.
Is it all right? Is it over?
Can we go home, please?
Something's wrong...
What are you doing? Are you crazy?
Calm down!
Are you nuts?
Am I not studying Pure Power?
That means I'm trained to intervene.
There!
What shall we do?
What we'll do is...
Rule one, weigh up the situation.
See what's going on.
By St Augustin, God of the Bee Gees...
What?
Here!
What's going on?
Nothing. Just squabbling secretaries.
It's none of our business. Let's go.
You're hiding something.
Me? No I'm not.
We're all going to die, that's all.
Marie-Joelle is dead! Marie-Joelle in danger!
Marie-Joelle goes on holiday! The return of Marie-Joelle!
It's 9pm. I'm tired. I've a class in 15 minutes. We saw nothing.
Just one thing,
whisper when we pass the floor with the hostages,
because I'd hate to get shot. I didn't come here for that!
They've got her by the hair! Go up, cradle! Up! Up! Up!
I'll start again.
I need the code. You give it to me.
We go and get the money.
Meanwhile, you go and sip a Pina Colada at the bar.
An hour later we release you
and there you are, back home again.
Or I kill your family, one by one.
Ladies first, of course.
The code?
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one!
I'm sure if there was something important
you'd have said.
Was it when you said it was 9pm?
Was that the important bit?
Nine's a pretty important time. It's time to go to bed.
Although I remember once I went to bed at ten past midnight!
Boy, was I tired afterwards!
No, I know!
It's when you said hostages.
Hostages?
My God!
Marie-Joelle's been taken hostage! Why didn't you say?
Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God...
You're a very sensitive man.
But she was only your niece.
Shall we move on to your children?
Sixty...
and five metres.
What's going on?
What are you doing?
We have to get out of here. This is grown up stuff.
Really? The 8th.
The day of my dinner with Marie-Joelle. Remember?
I've got it open.
Come on! It's OK, let's go!
Yes, it's OK.
Baby Jesus, God of Arabs and Italians,
give me the strength to save Marie-Joelle.
Hasta la Vista, Bye-bye.
Hans, what's going on?
Check each floor and the roof.
Let's prove I haven't wasted 3,200 francs on this programme.
May the force of Peter MacCalaway be with me.
All right then...
seems I've a vertical power problem.
I must tell Peter.
Five...
four...
three...
two...
one...
58228#.
That wasn't so difficult, was it?
No, I'm not dead.
We got this at Mercier's, rue du Temple.
It's a system with a blood bag
and a protective metal plate underneath. Clever isn't it?
Don't feel bad.
I'd have done the same for 50 million.
I'd sacrifice my family...
uncle, cousins...
Here we go.
Sorry...
shit! Mind the...
Oh my God! That's it!
You're stuck without my wife here.
Who needs your wife?
Her hand's enough.
Its absence is holding us up a little,
but it'll be here any minute.
You're monsters!
That's not a nice thing to say.
Shut him up, please.
Is everything ready?
I'm almost finished.
Any minute now we'll be enjoying a delicious Pina Colada.
Man on the roof. I'll see to it.
What is it?
Nothing serious, apparently.
One of my men is on to it.
You mean you're not in control?
Of course I am.
Everything will be fine.
That's what I'm paying you for.
Oh my God!
That hurts!
There now...
Mind your head...
Watch it! Easy now...
We're the window cleaners!
Everything's fine!
Hans, have you dealt with the problem?
What the hell are you doing?
Do you copy?
Peter, go and get Hans.
I want you both as backup.
Seems your plans are going awry.
What are you doing?
Answer me!
I'm warning you, if you touch a single hair on Marie-Joelle's head
it'll be a hard day's night for you all!
Stop that!
He's kidding. He doesn't even know you.
Do what you want, we're gone.
Don't mind us.
Porte Maillot, mind the doors!
There's my train now.
Someone's fibbing!
I'm glad I'm not in your shoes.
You're gonna get your...
Don't you understand what's going on?
The gun? The guy with the beard?
That red walkie-talkie?
Can't you see? Isn't it all a bit odd?
We've gotta call the cops and get the hell out of here!
This must be worth at least a million.
It'd be a nice gift for Marie-Joelle.
Tonight you're gonna...
Tonight you're gonna get... mash!
I'm OK.
Hans is out cold.
The detonator and RT are gone.
Find out who did it and kill them.
Looks like we're dealing with professionals.
They tortured my baby. Her tummy's bleeding.
I don't understand.
I lift 30kg on the bench press.
- Get pressing, then. - I have to be lying down.
So lie down!
Up you go!
Press that bench up!
Don't hang about!
Lie down and press up.
Press down now, lie up!
Lie down in your basket!
Go on, lie-lie now!
Off to bye-bye's!
I can't do it!
Explain something to me.
The Tower was supposed to be empty.
My men have been attacked, the detonator's gone.
You're not double-crossing us, are you?
Whatsyourname,
you're the best. Who would I double-cross you with?
That makes sense.
That's funny. Look.
I never noticed a clock here before.
Funny, isn't it?
It's wrong. It isn't twelve thirty.
Twenty-nine,
twenty-eight,
twenty-seven.
Quick minutes, aren't they.
More like seconds.
It's a bomb!
Baby Jesus...
If you live, tell Marie-Jo this was the best day of my life
until the untimely arrival
of a bomb.
I want to say something too.
If I'm so desperate to look like Peter MacCalaway,
maybe it's because, secretly,
and everyone has a bit of this in them, I'm in love with him.
I don't know...
Marie-Joelle, if you can hear me, I'm going to die and
I love you.
Please don't let the bomb go off!
You're gay?
It's stopped!
You're gay!
No, all I meant was,
we share a passion for good bodies and physical exercise.
- You're gay! - Stop it!
What I meant was...
Leave me alone!
I hope you've got a good excuse.
I only saw one.
A tall skinny guy with a goatee beard.
The other hit me from behind.
It's just the window cleaners. They're no danger.
Mrs Lanceval has just arrived.
I believe part of your wife is coming up.
I always liked her hands best.
Make him shut up.
Put some of that sticky tape over his mouth.
Coming right up.
It's done.
This hostage-taking's becoming a drag.
Everything's fine, calm down.
Marie-Joelle, if you hear me,
the bomb's off so dinner's on.
Can you bring someone well-built for my skinny friend?
They've blown up the bar.
- Watch where you're going! - Look up!
They're no danger.
They can knock out our men and explosives and call the cops.
We've just got to speed things up.
So, there's increasingly less danger.
Chan!
Do you copy?
I'm on the 49th floor. The lift's stuck.
Look out. We've some harmless window cleaners in the Tower.
They've taken our detonators and blown out the 50th floor.
Now the cops are on their way.
I'll be right there.
- What was it? - It came from up there!
You should always be careful with bombs.
As they say back home, "Para bailar la bomba".
Remember?
Don't panic.
It's a four-shoe pizza!
Help's coming! Keep calm!
- Why's there no one here? - This is serious!
There's a fire up there!
I really screwed him up!
I'm not gay! Leave off.
It's hard to tell sometimes.
Wait! I want a souvenir too.
It's ravishing.
Chan should be here by now. We've a problem. A real problem.
We'll have to... what shall we do?
I don't believe this guy!
How do we work without the hand?
We don't. We get it back and open the safe.
And how do we do that?
Chris and Whatsyourname, check the 2 floors below.
I'll do the upper floors with Cher, here.
Wait!
I thought... the upper floor...
as I'm bigger... shall we go down, Chris?
- Where's the hand? - I don't know.
- Where's the goddamn hand! - I don't know.
- You don't know? - No.
They shot Chan.
The police are here.
Move on to Plan B.
It's so well made it looks almost real.
Funky lucky charms the Chinese have.
Let's go save Marie-Joelle.
Come with me.
No way! I've been thinking and I've a...
This charm will save us from the bullets.
Listen! I've a really precise plan. We call the police.
That's it! We call the cops.
What?
- What are you looking at? - Nothing...
- What? - They're so short...
It's the summer. It's normal.
What's wrong with them?
They cost 45 francs.
Sorry if I don't earn much...
1, there are hostages. 2, explosions.
3, a Chinaman right here in the Tower.
And you'd call the cops!
- Yes. - Use your head!
- You use yours! - No, you!
I've an even preciser plan.
1, you give me the gun.
No. You've got the hand.
Have you seen it?
Look at all these fingers. 1, 2, 3, 4...
5, 6, 7, 8. It's got loads of fingers.
Code 7. Send reinforcements.
We're here in the Tower.
There's a Chinaman, a Frenchman
a black guy and a Belgian in the Montparnasse Tower...
The Chinaman falls off and goes,
..."Ker-Chink!" Very funny. Clear the channel.
Stop laughing! Are you nuts?
Hello, I'm calling from the Tower!
State your name.
I'm Head of security for the Tower.
I'll get you the chief.
Thank you.
Are you the Head of Security?
Are you safe?
Yes, I'm the Head of security and I'm safe.
- "Say who, s with you." - Are you alone?
No, I'm with a friend.
An engineer. No, philosopher.
A philosopher friend.
Called Michel.
Michel. We're in the...
- Who likes chess. - He likes chess...
Football too.
And indoor football...
Go over to 42. We've two kids on the channel.
Try here.
What?
The batteries seem to have run out.
It was you. I saw you.
You pressed too hard.
Much too hard.
So it's my fault, is it?
You're going to kill us all!
You'll die, I'll die and your fiancee will die too.
See this gun?
You'd do something dumb if you had it.
You won't lend me the gun, then?
I don't care.
I'll think up something on my own.
Sorry.
By the way, for your infiltration,
when hostages are attacked by someone you don't call the cops,
you call the FBI.
Come back!
Don't leave me here on my own!
Calling the window cleaners.
I'm the girl you gave the cheese cubes.
I got away. Where are you?
It's his girlfriend!
Hang on.
Just a minute, please.
Just a moment.
Where are you?
Your girlfriend's on the phone.
Where are you?
In the locker rooms. 54th floor.
Stephanie?
The sWAT guys are with us.
On to Plan C. You handle the cops as arranged.
I found the two dimwits on the 54th floor.
I'll have the hand in 2 minutes
and go down to the safe.
Are you still there?
Yes, but my friend's not happy.
He's making a weapon specially for you.
I'm happy as the day Louis Armstrong walked on the moon!
- I'm delighted too, but... - My God!
You're bleeding! Dying! You're dead!
No, I'm quite alive.
God be appraised!
That's a lovely necklace.
This?
It's not a necklace. It's a Chinese lucky charm.
Really? I'd like one of those.
You'll have to go to China.
Makes it kind of expensive!
Unless...
I had a friend, who was bald,
who loved me so much he'd say,
"I think I'll give her my Chinese lucky charm".
A Chinese friend? Careful, they eat dogs.
They roll them in lettuce and dip them in sauce.
No.
Things are going a bit too fast between us.
I think we should wait a little.
This is messing with my head.
Let's talk about China.
Hello? 14th precinct.
I represent the group responsible
for the Montparnasse Tower bomb.
Would you put that out, please?
I'll pass you the chief.
If you wouldn't mind.
It leaves stains on your teeth, but it's up to you.
You've changed, Joel. Being a cop's gone to your head.
Superintendent.
We have the Lanceval family. In return for their lives,
we demand the release of separatists Michel Dorsini,
Pierre Etchebarria and Gwenael Dormenec.
Call the men back.
That'll buy us a week.
Your Chinese friend says, "On the plate, Rex".
Dog goes "Woof", man goes "chop".
He eats it, just like that!
That's a poodle a day. Hello Chinese hospitality.
- That's expensive! - Very.
You don't care. You're not paying.
Where are we eating tonight?
- I'll tell you tomorrow. - OK.
You got here all right?
Marie-Joelle, this is Francois,
and I'm Peter MacCalaway.
Lucky guy!
Pleased to meet you, except my name's Stephanie.
That's good! He's not really Francois.
He's Francis.
Ford Coppola.
How are you?
That's enough...
I'm dining with the lady. Don't worry, he's gay.
What do you mean?
Show her the photo you just showed me, when you said...
I didn't say anything! Shut up!
He's talking baloney.
I'm on a body building programme, at a cost of 3,200 francs.
In 6 months I'll be able to lift
an Austin Mini with my bare hands.
Bare hands!
Your hand's a bare-assed nudist! It's gay like you!
Yours is gay like me.
He admits it!
I got it wrong...
This is all very interesting,
but may I remind you there are hostages here, meaning
our lives are in danger. We should go downstairs.
How? The lifts are stuck, Miss l-don't-like-gays.
By the stairs, Mr Praying-mantis-arms.
You're so lucky
I can't think of a reply!
Stop and break it down!
Do you want me to give her a gun so you both have one?
You want to kill each other?
I'm sorry, but we're not 4 year olds.
There's no way I'm going down there.
It's full of bombs and tedious escaped hostages!
I've a better idea.
I'm not wasting time with you. I'm off.
Please don't take it like that. For me. For us.
When he said "tedious hostages", he didn't mean you.
Too right I did.
Come down the ventilation shaft with me.
I saw it in a film once. "Try hard..."
"Die if you're hard, with a bomb".
Take the stairs. It's easy! One step after another.
Take the shaft. It's quick!
It's neck-breaking! Come with me.
The shaft's faster. No steps.
Ignore him! He's lying.
Listen to me, Peter.
Go after them.
We lost a man. Your brother.
The window cleaners shot him.
Whatsyourname?
The two cretins, the bald guy and the skinny one,
are in the shafts. Watch the screens
and see which floor they come out on.
She's being attacked by a Chinaman because of you.
You're a bastard!
No you're not. You're a nudist!
I don't care. I'm going to save her.
Are you nuts? It's really dangerous.
You're staying put.
Stay here. There.
That's it.
I can't get past.
- My head's stuck! - Try another corner.
Sorry...
That way.
You see? It's impossible.
A Fosberry and you're stuck.
You see?
- Sorry... - It's OK. It's normal.
Are you OK?
Wait...
- There's Marie-Joelle. - Where?
- There! - Two seconds.
- A Chinaman's attacking her. - Go left.
- Easy now... - Sorry, I didn't see...
Move to the left. OK now?
- It's blocked. - Go right.
- OK? - There's something blue...
- I've found a way. - Where?
- It's OK. Almost there. - OK?
Go on, you're getting there.
- Can you see her? - No, carry on.
Nearly there. Just another metre.
Hurry up. They're behind us.
They're not there.
Look over here.
You nearly got through.
Stop now. This is getting tiring.
Shall I light a fire?
Shall I?
All right. You win. I'll light you a fire.
Go on. Go past.
Oh no!
Easy! I didn't mean to...
It's not serious.
Mummy! Why?
Whatsyourname?
Just a moment.
- See anything? - Nothing yet.
But I, m sure they, re still in the Tower.
How perceptive, Whatsyourname.
You remind me of Shaggy in "Scooby-Doo".
She's got to stop calling me Whatsyourname!
It's pissing me off!
Shit!
Easy! Tonight we walk away with 50 million.
I'll show her who's boss!
He's really dented you!
I'll sort the bitch out for you.
What did you say?
Hold out your fingers.
Man the monitors. Call if you see the bald guy and the skinny one.
Excuse me but,
what's all this skinny stuff?
See you in a minute.
You'll never catch me!
Helluva chase, huh?
Where's the hand?
I don't know what you mean.
I've the hand to open the safe with.
I don't want to see this!
Squirrel crew, get in position. Take-off at 0h50.
Hey you! I've had enough!
Stop calling me...
- We've got the hand. - What?
Make love to me.
- Here? - You understand, then.
What I said first was, "We've got the hand".
Let's calm down and go on as planned.
OK by you?
Fine.
When you hit me you were lighter.
Did you hear?
He wanted your hand to open a safe
with 50 million inside!
Fifty million!
I'll leave you here.
I'm going to talk to them.
Don't leave me on my own!
I'll be smothered to death!
- OK? - Thanks.
I did that to make you react!
It's the first lesson in Pure Power.
They call it priapism.
That's it. Pre-apism.
- React after, apism. - Oh, sorry.
Use your head.
Fifty million.
If I don't get 3 or 4 thousand out of this...
That's burglary!
No, it's not. I like women too, and you know it.
Burglary!
I thought you said buggery.
I'm not just doing it for the money.
- I'm doing it... - I know why.
- Why? - To free Marie-Joelle.
That's right!
Not to free Willy! Let's go.
What's Chris doing? He's been gone a long time.
Go and find out.
Go on. Delegate. It's worked great so far.
Bad luck, stephanie,
I know when people are making fun of me.
You were just then.
Weren't you?
Maybe.
Boss!
They got Chris.
Need a little something with nails
to open a certain safe full of notes?
Well, well, well.
Isn't that the guy who called me scrawny?
So it is.
Made you cuss, made you swear...
You're free, Marie-Joelle. We've a hostage too.
No one move
or the hand gets it in the head!
My friend's going to slide the hand under the door
and you slide Marie-Joelle back!
Along with 5,000 francs.
- That's burglary! - A thousand!
OK?
And no funny stuff behind our backs.
So, good bye.
No!
We'll give you one minute!
Are they faking or dumb?
They're really dumb.
We've got a problem with the door.
We'll leave the hand here
and you put Marie-Joelle there.
- No here! - There!
It's dirty here.
Thank you very much.
You're welcome.
Over to you, Whatsyourname.
That wasn't my fault!
She said thanks and was re-kidnapped!
They're playing dirty. They want to surprise us.
So we'll play dirty too.
I've never lost at snap.
A window cleaner, like my dad the butcher,
30kg on the bench press,
today and before yesterday,
God watch over me,
I'll smash their faces in, one by one!
I don't quite understand.
Are you helping me save Marie-Joelle
or smashing my face in one by one?
You scare me.
Your men are free.
They're here. What do we do now?
Fine.
Show them the Eiffel Tower. Our lift's broken.
What do they want? This smells bad.
We're going in.
Squirrel crew, you can take off.
What's this bullshit?
An iris recognition system.
You think it's funny?
Stop! We need his eye.
Get some ice.
Why did you bounce off the first time?
Think about it!
Use your head.
You were too light.
Now, with the armour...
This time be sure you get the length right.
On your marks...
shit!
Watch out
I'm armed!
Be careful now!
You're not the only one with a gun.
You've got a gun
but I haven't.
Pull the trigger and I die!
Highly original.
You're right.
My brother would never let me...
avenge him unless you suffered greatly.
What next? An electronic device for your balls?
Well mastered, some martial arts can cause unimaginable pain
to the body.
That's funny because Pure Power's great
but we don't focus on pain.
We're into
stretching, aerobics,
trampoline.
Oh, my God!
You're not fooling...
I'm warning you,
I'm out of control.
You won't get me like that, sankukai!
Coming up,
a full face side-kick!
And now, a double...
stop!
Lucky you. Before dying in a dreadful explosion,
you're going up in a helicopter.
After that, of course, you'll die.
Do you know how much a chopper ride costs?
Ming, we've got the money. We're off.
I'm warning you, I'm not looking!
Watch out!
You're fast, but are you tough?
Everyone calm down.
This is a Colt Python 357 Magnum.
It'll blow such a hole in your belly
you'll be spun right back to Peking.
I promised you I'd get them one by one
and that's what I'll do.
You'll pay for Chan's death.
Easy now...
No pwoblem... We no kill yo' brudder.
We nice guys. We hit brudder with red-hot bar.
My hand vewy hot.
I shove hand in brudder's face.
It burn him weel bad!
It burn like UV ways!
We nice window cleanahs. No hurt a panda.
I love China! Kwazy 'bout it!
All Chinese stuff, noodles, sweet and sowah sauce...
Delicious!
Pwawn cwackahs... delicious...
But you touch my friend... I'm scum!
I spit in yo' eye! I shanghai bad guy!
I don't speak your language. Get out.
I'll give you a spectacular death.
Take the piss out of me, would you?
Know what the Chinaman says?
The Chinaman says, "Get onto the window sill".
The Chinaman says, "Turn round".
Jump!
You didn't say, "The Chinaman says"!
You said, "The Chinaman says get onto the window sill",
then, "The Chinaman says..."
Turn round.
- The 3rd time was... - No the 4th...
Jump!
Playing tough, huh?
Why not?
They're throwing out the hostages!
Maybe he was showing us how to do it.
No!
It's a trap, don't you see!
It's a classic in China.
- The Chinese Trap. - Yes!
You see? We pulled it off!
We make a great team.
Or, should I say, couple.
- Easy, Whatsyourname. - I have a name.
It's Michel Vignaut.
You're Stephanie, I'm Michel. Michel and Stephanie.
One and one make two.
What'll we do with all this money?
Get the hostages to the chopper.
- Why not kill them now? - Of course.
With no hostages on board the police can just shoot us down.
Do you know something?
No, nothing.
Bring the old man and the young old man.
We must get there before they take her away.
They're spending the money right now.
Anyway, the fat one couldn't hit a cow in a boudoir.
A parlour.
Better lay off those funny castanets!
Exocets.
Shit!
If we had another helicopter we could follow them.
I know what to do!
We attach the cradle to the chopper
and fly discreetly behind them.
The cradle would never be fast enough.
Never mind. It was a good idea.
I know! We lure them into a trap
using a 500 franc note tied to an invisible thread.
It's like an invisible man but shaped like a thread.
You poor boy!
How you disappoint me.
You won't trap 50 million franc robbers with a 500.
1,500 francs.
These guys are serious.
- Not just a pretty brace. - The beast.
- The best. - The abbess.
- The rest. - The ref.
Not just a... sack the referee!
Sack the ref!
Hey, pilot buddy!
Hey, pal!
Come and look at this.
It's really interesting.
Don't be difficult.
Run over here, looking up!
If you look down it doesn't count.
No it doesn't.
Quick! You'll miss the...
Come on.
A souvenir from the job.
Hold them back for a minute.
Come on, take off!
If your bags are bothering you
I've room up front. I don't drive with my feet!
You'll be much more comfortable.
Initializing red buttons!
- Three red buttons. - Yes!
- Speed? - Zero.
- Mileage? - Unlimited.
- Panickometer? - In the red sector.
That's three zeros, 3 nil.
France-Brazil, final score.
- Are all your documents in order? - Why, are you a cop?
Get a move on!
Wait while we check a couple of things.
Are you playing with yourselves?
What, us?
What's going on?
Oh my God!
Shit!
Wait for me!
It's OK!
We're fine, don't worry.
I'll stabilise it!
Oops!
Sorry.
Give me a hand!
Isn't it the blades that should be turning?
It's OK, I'm in control.
It's the turning force. Centrifugal.
It's normal.
It's making me feel a bit sick...
Do choppers make you sick too?
Use my technique,
concentrate on something else.
It's all right!
We're safe!
End of the line!
All change please!
Never mind about the restaurant.
We've at least a million here.
I can take you to America,
or if you don't like America, New York.
Stop.
You really don't get it, do you? Shut up!
This is mine.
Whatever you do, keep running.
I booby-trapped your shoes.
Go below 20mph and you blow up.
Get away! There's a bomb!
We have to find somewhere open
so we won't get slowed down.
I'm sorry, miss.
I don't know where you come from
but here in France we don't have 1,500 franc notes.
1,500 francs! Are you crazy, lady?
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